Carlytron

Wish you were here / there!

Autostraddle hits the streets on Friday night to talk to THE PEOPLE about marriage equality. Includes a lot of hopping and jumping and screaming and total cuteness.

Carlytron has kept all her feelings about television to herself all year long. Today, she breaks her silence to share THE BEST TELEVISION OF ALL TIME FOR 2010.

Carlytron compiles an EPIC 2009 television wrap-up wherein she gives absurd awards to your favorite shows and characters.

Our beloved shows march off into the lonely winter months with jokes! Recaps of Gossip Girl, Modern Family, 30 Rock, the Office, Ugly Betty, FlashForward, Parks and Recreation, and Saturday Night Live.

This week on Glee people draw mustaches on photos, Will finally realizes his own wife isn’t now — nor has ever been — pregnant, and Carlytron finally manages to enjoy this show again.

Carlytron wants to be happy that Glee is back on but is conflicted because this episode isn’t very good. Luckily, this show has a cute gay named Kurt and the Lynch (who can do no wrong) to pull it out of the gutter and keep our spirits alive amongst bad plot devices and worse writing.

We are clearly in November sweeps, because TV is just OOC right now. Get the skinny on Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, V, Grey’s Anatomy, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, all of the Real Housewives, Parks and Recreation, SNL and more!

Apple/tech/design nerds rejoice! Someone has graciously uploaded a segment of Gary Hustwit’s (Helvetica) new doc Objectified. Which segment? Apple Chief Designer (and total dreamboat, which coming from me is really saying something) Jonathan Ive talking about Apple industrial design. Totally awesome.

There is a Dr. Horrible prequel comic book coming out on November 18th. DR. HORRIBLE PREQUEL COMIC!!

On this week’s televisionary, Carlytron accidentally takes some nice pills and is temporarily less snarky than normal. Journey with us as we delve into the gay Halloweens and implausible storylines of the Office, Parks and Recreation, Ugly Betty, Community, Gossip Girl, FlashForward, and Grey’s Anatomy.

This week everyone on tv was kissing someone of the same sex. That’s so… gay! It’s Televisionary time, featuring 30 Rock, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Eastwick, Flash Forward, and more!

This week on Glee, Will raps twice, the same things that usually happen continue to happen, everyone speaks in metaphors, The Lynch wears a zoot suit, and Carlytron cries a thousand mashed-up tears.

There were lots of big events on tv this week: firings, weddings, photo montages, lesbian ratings stunts (Heroes!)… check out Carlytron’s thoughts on Heroes, Gossip Girl, 30 Rock, Grey’s Anatomy, Saturday Night Live, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother, and more!

The Lynch can do no wrong and she OWNED this episode. The spit flies on Glee this week, as Sue and Will face off over control of the Glee club, Terri continues to fake her pregnancy, Quinn has to deal with the ramifications of hers, and Emma is tragically nowhere to be found.

Sometimes I feel like Callie & Arizona will never make out again. Instead, we have Drew Barrymore’s soft butch, Modern Family’s truly modern family, Hillary Duff’s hotness (maybe), and adorable episodes of The Office & How I Met Your Mother.

This week on Glee everyone gets hooked on meth and Sue wants a hovercraft. Ok not really, Terri gets the Glee kids to OD on Sudafed, Ken asks Emma to marry him, and Sue wants a hovercraft. That part was real.

On this week’s Televisionary: Carlytron gives up on Heroes, questions Dollhouse & How I Met Your Mother, loves Gossip Girl, continues to go off on Grey’s Anatomy, and more! You know, the usual.

Fabulous designer Jonathan Adler is offering some really nice smartphone wallpapers on his website. They’re free and super designey! They have sizes to fit several Blackberry models, iPhones, and Palm Pres. (@unplggd)

This week’s gay song and dance show features Kristin Chenoweth as a former McKinley High student who is brought back by Will to shake things up, and boy does she ever! Also: everyone pukes and Rachel quits and joins Glee about 7 more times.

Carlytron yells at Grey’s Anatomy (again), wonders why she still watches Heroes, wonders why YOU aren’t watching Dollhouse, and gives you her Tron’s eye view on Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Saturday Night Live, and more.

This week on Glee everyone is pregnant or dancing or crying. Beyonce probably made some serious dough off of the licensing of her song “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” and Kurt comes out to his dad!

James May’s Lego house was demolished!!! It was supposed to be moved to Legoland but it was too expensive, so they destroyed it, along with my childhood dream to live in a house made entirely of Legos.

Last week everyone went crazy on television. Crazier still? This week, a coming out scene made me cry. And Ashley Merriman made Laneia sweat.

Patrick Swayze died! But Glee is great still, Alex talks about the VMAs, and Tinkerbell shares with you about important social issues of our time.