Spiritually, we’re all making candles with Queen Latifah.

“Unless one of you all sent me a mesh shirt that said Pizza Slut???”

That’s actually the cutest thing i’ve seen since that video last week of the puppy falling asleep on the goose.

“Rachel — just a heads up that you are at the top of my list of bisexuals most likely to have cut their own hair with a sword.”

“kayla and laneia stumped me because of the long flowy mommi lounging situations in both photos, and then i got them mixed up because kayla put a set of four mini cocottes on her list, and i honestly just assumed she already owned those and laneia’s been tweeting about making dessert.”

i would also watch an incredible ryan murphy show about this with sarah paulson and jessica lange as the wronged lesbian penguin parents.

I did make out with my ex in the house here and there but the family was French and basically encouraged it and gave me wine every night.

“just wanted to say i’m really loving the synchronicity and overall level of sexual tension on our homepage rn”

“is this like gay when harry met sally
bc that’s the only heterosexual love story that i like, so i’m feeling positive”

“the sex bench is like all the flatware in beauty and the beast collecting dust waiting for somebody to come along and use it to feel purpose / meaning again”

“oh yeah we haven’t even scraped the surface of pandemic sex dreams”

“top 10 things you shouldn’t say to your girlfriend”

I think it’s very Cancer of me to watch Mary Lambert’s “She Keeps Me Warm” music video on Valentine’s Day just so I could feel my heart clench and cry a little.

“Sometimes with people my age it’s like are you gay or do you just live in a major city.”

“i love it when middle age white women lose their shit and yell in lengthy monologues, too”

“Lol yes just got off work and ready for dyke shit”

“Queer culture is being stressed about the Supreme Court AND being stressed about your ex texting you to see how you’re feeling about the Supreme Court.”

“hey i’m adding the search terms to the newsletter and just curious, what is “gazelle style sex”??????”

“to be extremely fair i’d let bette porter run me over with a honda”

“megan rapinoe’s leather shorts and a tux jacket ONLY look is exactly what a 7 year old might negotiate to be able to wear to a fancy thing, and i love it.”

“Where do we stand on my confetti canon? Should I bring it to camp?”