“for a second i was like…………….did i break this channel
with my confession”

“I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BEING INTENSELY EMOTIONAL OR BAD WITH BOUNDARIES SOUNDS FAKE”

“wait there are nipples on shutterstock??”

“YES PUSSY IS ON THE LIST
omg”

“ok who sent me an autostraddle email address request for kristen stewart”

i don’t claim most of the dude bro lesbians in nyc who used to be shitty to me at the bar cause i have long hair
BUT YOU KNOW I AM NOT EVEN THAT MAD ABOUT THEM I HOPE THEY GREW UP AND GOT BETTER

“a new column called The Thrifty Tomboy and i talk about costco for 1,200 words
per day”

“guys do you think i’ll ever have sex in a penthouse with floor to ceiling windows and a view
like while i’m still young enough to be bendy”

“Her dreams are just real nights at lesbian bars
And then she wakes up covered in a man
Wish I didn’t relate so much”