Riese: I would text Riley and be like “you up?”
Carly: Are you still at the gay bar…? Because?
Riese: I would come back incensed with rage and ready to make a mistake.
Carly: Ready to ruin my relationship.
Riese: Yes. I would be full of the spirit of ruin and ready to share it.
Carly: Which is not Christmas spirit, but it is kind of related.
Riese: One boob out. I love the one boob out.
Carly: One boob out is incredible.
Riese: And then she explains that they have different core values.
Carly: Then Jodi says, “What are my core values?” And Bette says, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not a judgment.” What? What?
Riese: I want Bette to be like, “I see the beauty in things.”
Carly: And what do you see, Jodi? Also the beauty in things? Oh.
Riese: And Jodi’s like, “I’m wearing your exact outfit. Obviously, I also see the beauty in things.”
Erin: Wow, they have really done you dirty. I would love to make you two s’mores.
Carly: Thank you!
Riese: Let’s go glamping!
The lights are out and everybody’s making out and we are having a live episode that you can watch (or read the transcript of!) right now, and also a podcast episode! WOW!
Join Riese, Carly, Mal Blum, Gaby Dunn, Brittani Nichols and Cerise Castle for an all-star livecast of our recording for The L Word Episode 509, “Liquid Heat”! (Yes that’s the one where everybody has sex.)
“My one note is, “God, I wish Tasha was a firefighter, so I didn’t have to feel conflicted about her.”
“I had a moment where I was watching this again, and I remembered watching this scene 12 years ago, and I was like, wow, I’m gay. You know?”
“I feel like I’m very much a stickler for how Black church is shown on TV, and I think a lot of people get it wrong in movies and TV a lot, like it just never is quite right. And I feel like Hollywood is that way too. And I felt like this [portrayal of Hollywood] was very accurate, and I was shocked!”
“I saw how they reacted to Max and I was like, ‘ohh, I’m gonna transition and I’m gonna be shunned from this community that I’ve longed for for 18 years, I’m gonna lose my community if I transition.'”
Shelli: Whenever the question is, “Where’s Shane?” It’s just like—
Carly: [Whispers] Sex.
Shelli: We know where she’s at.
Riese: [Singing] Fucking in the VIP room!
“I just want you to know that I don’t even want to go to Ilene Chaiken’s pool, but I want that for you so badly. I would die for your right to go to Ilene Chaiken’s pool.”
Your transcript and screencaps are here for the episode in which Shane sleeps with all the bridesmaids and Helena and Bette have a literal top-off in a fantasy sequence!!!!
We’re back NOW WITH TRANSCRIPTS for Episode 501, in which Jenny refuses a croissant and Tasha calls to say she can’t talk right now and Jodi hates table cloths.
In the Season 4 finale of “The L Word,” we finally find out if Bette Porter knows how to drive a tractor!
“Lez Girls” is flying off the shelves and everybody has an opinion about who is a lesbian or not!
Let’s go have sex at the horse races!
In which we spend the day in bed with Alice, Helena, Tasha and Papi!
Calling all low-down lyin’ nanny-f*cking motherf*ckers!
Get your ass into The Ask and Tell Helicopter, it’s time to get schooled about lezzing out!
Raise your hand if you remember Papi’s rules of poker!
