Into the A+ Advice Box #26: Working Through Shame Around Kink
Grief is not linear, finding help for your top surgery recovery, ways to alleviate feelings of isolation while staying home, and more!
Grief is not linear, finding help for your top surgery recovery, ways to alleviate feelings of isolation while staying home, and more!
Advice for when you want to nurture a partnership but also honor your independence, for when you’re not sure if you want contact with an ex, on working through discomfort with your own sexuality, and more!
“THIS STEP IS VERY IMPORTANT, DO NOT PUT THE BOILING HOT TEA BAGS ON YOUR EYELIDS!!!” Queer advice on breaking up with someone over social distancing opinions as well as advice on pressure from friends to hang out in-person instead of staying home (during this here pandemic), returning to writing after a betrayal, recovering from a good cry, and more!
Your partner doesn’t want to talk about raising your kids to be anti-racist, longing to reach out to a former friend, and more!
Is it a “friend” coffee or a “date” coffee, unemployed and feeling unmoored, negotiating initiating intimacy in a relationship with two people on the asexual spectrum, you feel like your best friend is making questionable dating decisions, grooming your armpit hair, taking a break from therapy, you’ve never been in a long-term relationship, trying to exist outside of capitalism, possible pelvic floor concerns — and more!
We asked you for the political questions or issues keeping you up at night. From getting started in activism, to questions about phone banking and volunteering, to the Supreme Court and what will happen with the legalization of gay marriage, untangling the United States’ electoral system, talking to your conservative relatives, and more — the Autostraddle team takes on your questions related to the US election. We’re all super stressed, but at least we have each other!
Advice for the cis, presumably het parents of a trans kid, Zoom dating while in the house with your parents, an urban legend and gay panic, gender feelings, squirting ALL of the time, and understanding your expectations in a relationship with someone who is not nearly as out!
Making queer friends in quarantine, holding a candle for your ex, being out as bisexual at work, unpacking a past relationship with boundary issues, poly nesting feelings, roommates who make you feel like a fifth wheel, social media related envy in your creative community, and MORE! Become an A+ Member today to submit your own advice questions, get access to this twice monthly series, and keep Autostraddle going for everyone.
Stating your needs around masturbation in a relationship, moving on from an on-again-off-again relationship, your dad hasn’t worked through his homophobia, and more!
Should you come out to your father who also has narcissistic personality disorder? What do you do with the digital remains of a relationship post-breakup? Navigating privilege, the pandemic and the uprising; feeling “behind” in life, crushing on a quarantine roommate, and more!
Dating and inexperience and some really positive advice about this, grieving while starting graduate school, coping with feelings of jealousy and more!
Worries about a roommate’s mental health, thinking of dating after almost a decade of being single, evangelical parents and bisexuality, what to call your girlfriend when she dominates you, and more.
Broken up with during quarantine, exploring your sexuality in quarantine, feeling concerned about being “okay” in quarantine, sage advice for parents of a non-binary kid and more!
What do I say when I think my friend might be rushing into marriage? Trauma and opening up a relationship, exploring sexually with a long-term partner, feelings about a (possibly straight) quarantine crush, and more!
Coping with feeling like it’s the end times and residual religious fears, sexual needs changing within long-term relationships, getting started with dating apps, and more!
Why does gay male sex turn you on if you’re a lesbian and is it okay? Plus, conflicting ideas about isolating & dating during quarantine, cheering up your partner over long distance, parents and mental health and Covid-19, SO MANY mixed signals from your ex wife who’s in another relationship and…should you fuck your boss?!?!?! Things are a mess out there, but at least we have each other and 26 questions from readers like you!
Help! Your girlfriend is quarantined three hours away, your roommate’s partner moved into the apartment during the shut down without your consent, dying your hair before that next work Zoom call, handling an overwhelming group chat, and what to do when you are so alone!
Recovering after being ghosted, dealing with queer tokenism, knowing if you’re a top or a bottom, straight people are STILL not ok, and did that organizer ask you for an organizing coffee or a COFFEE coffee??
Be the cool queer cousin you wished for as a kid, the polite way to turn someone down, sex is still great without an orgasm, creating your own queer community when you feel alone in the world, and 20 other questions from everyday readers like you!
First of all: Clean your sex toys! Also: homophobia at your day job, supporting your friend when they leave an abusive relationship, and how to start dating when… you’ve absolutely never dated before.
This Month: Proper protocol for casual sex with strangers, combating internalized fatphobia, lots of trans feelings, and how to apologize when its 100% your fault. Plus, what to do when it’s time to divorce him and come out already!