“Often we need the possibility of more not in order to reach it, but in order to stop just short of it, which is still far beyond where we would’ve landed had it not been there at all.”
A brand new gay bar in San Francisco, a lesbian Spice World in Toronto, lesbian meet-cutes, and of course Stephanie Tanner Bisexual.
“Honestly, it’s for younger me who really needed to know that you could be queer and loved by God at the same time.”
Since 2016, the bisexual bob has been taking the bisexual world by storm. But where did this alternative lifestyle haircut begin? And where, pray tell, is it going?
Bestselling author of The Incendiaries is out as bisexual, proud, and giving us big feelings about eyeshadow and representation.
The first time I googled “bisexual history,” one of the top hits was an article called “Are you worried your partner might have a bisexual history?”
This week, the Sun published a fascinating letter in their Dear Deidre advice column, in which a (presumably straight?) (presumably real???) married woman describes falling in love with another young mother at her child’s school and wonders if their tawdry extramarital affair is built to last.
Today we look at a panoply of questions, which, while the situations of their querents are specific and concrete, encompass three of the most common questions we hear in relation to bisexuality: Am I actually bisexual or not? Am I pansexual or something else within the bi+ spectrum? How the fuck do I let people know I’m not straight?
Spanning genre from fiction to essays to memoir, these books are vibrant, boundary-breaking, and as intriguing as they are affirming. I strongly recommend curling up with one of these in your favorite café to celebrate Bisexual Visiblility Day today and all this week — settle in for some miso soup (what Ruby, the heroine of Eating Chinese Food Naked, drinks as comfort food) with maybe some biryani and chai for the second course (from Corona, by Bushra Rehman) and read some of these literary works.
I found a different self slowly, learned to exist as if with many different goggles on at once. Always speaking from my mother’s kitchen in the Silicon Valley and, at the same time, my grandmother’s crowded living room in Punjab. In these years, I would feel the sharpness of many kinds of difference, marginalization. But when I looked down at myself for signs of why I felt so other, all I would find was the color of my hands.
“As a kid, a lack of role models made me believe people like me just didn’t grow up — or at the very least, didn’t grow up to be happy and open. But now I see that being bisexual actually allowed me to form my own version of what happiness and the future look like.”
“When her body shook I was filled with a fullness that almost made me cry. For me, in that moment, Dan wasn’t even in the room.”
“I’ve identified as a lesbian for three years now, and this identity makes me happy. But… I made out with one of my closest male friends whilst drunk, and then again whilst sober, and we’ve talked about it and decided to pursue a friends with benefits situation. So now I feel guilty, but I feel silly calling myself or thinking about “coming out again” as bi because it really is just this one guy; I’m not into “men,” I’m into women (and some NB people) and him, and that’s it. Am I betraying everyone?”
We’ve got 29 gorgeous questions and like 100 answers, so if you need help and you asked for it, you might find it in here. Casual hookups, breakups, threesomes, gender uncertainty, dating a co-worker, letting her down easy and so much more!
“Your truth is always your truth, whether said or silent. It just might not be the idea of your truth that somebody else has in their mind.”
“I’m attracted to men and also to women. If I bring a woman home, [or] a man, we don’t even have to have the discussion”
Sara Ramirez and Stephanie Beatriz want to be the sunshine in your lives, this administration remains a hellmouth, a roundup of the most rainbow places you can visit, and EVEN MORE LINKS FOR YOUR WEEK!
“Being a queer black woman in America,” Monáe tells Brittany Spanos, her interviewer, “someone who has been in relationships with both men and women — I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker.’”
“How does one successfully navigate such a dramatic shift in a long-held and cherished identity?! Is it possible to have relationships with men devoid of internalized homophobia, misogyny, etc? Is it worthwhile to tell this person how I feel — could I possibly expect anyone to navigate all this baggage with me?”
Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson told Vanity Fair that she’s single and ready to mingle with men or women.