This week, the Sun published a fascinating letter in their Dear Deidre advice column, in which a (presumably straight?) (presumably real???) married woman describes falling in love with another young mother at her child’s school and wonders if their tawdry extramarital affair is built to last.
Today we look at a panoply of questions, which, while the situations of their querents are specific and concrete, encompass three of the most common questions we hear in relation to bisexuality: Am I actually bisexual or not? Am I pansexual or something else within the bi+ spectrum? How the fuck do I let people know I’m not straight?
Spanning genre from fiction to essays to memoir, these books are vibrant, boundary-breaking, and as intriguing as they are affirming. I strongly recommend curling up with one of these in your favorite café to celebrate Bisexual Visiblility Day today and all this week — settle in for some miso soup (what Ruby, the heroine of Eating Chinese Food Naked, drinks as comfort food) with maybe some biryani and chai for the second course (from Corona, by Bushra Rehman) and read some of these literary works.
I found a different self slowly, learned to exist as if with many different goggles on at once. Always speaking from my mother’s kitchen in the Silicon Valley and, at the same time, my grandmother’s crowded living room in Punjab. In these years, I would feel the sharpness of many kinds of difference, marginalization. But when I looked down at myself for signs of why I felt so other, all I would find was the color of my hands.
“As a kid, a lack of role models made me believe people like me just didn’t grow up — or at the very least, didn’t grow up to be happy and open. But now I see that being bisexual actually allowed me to form my own version of what happiness and the future look like.”
“When her body shook I was filled with a fullness that almost made me cry. For me, in that moment, Dan wasn’t even in the room.”
“I’ve identified as a lesbian for three years now, and this identity makes me happy. But… I made out with one of my closest male friends whilst drunk, and then again whilst sober, and we’ve talked about it and decided to pursue a friends with benefits situation. So now I feel guilty, but I feel silly calling myself or thinking about “coming out again” as bi because it really is just this one guy; I’m not into “men,” I’m into women (and some NB people) and him, and that’s it. Am I betraying everyone?”
We’ve got 29 gorgeous questions and like 100 answers, so if you need help and you asked for it, you might find it in here. Casual hookups, breakups, threesomes, gender uncertainty, dating a co-worker, letting her down easy and so much more!
“Your truth is always your truth, whether said or silent. It just might not be the idea of your truth that somebody else has in their mind.”
“I’m attracted to men and also to women. If I bring a woman home, [or] a man, we don’t even have to have the discussion”
Sara Ramirez and Stephanie Beatriz want to be the sunshine in your lives, this administration remains a hellmouth, a roundup of the most rainbow places you can visit, and EVEN MORE LINKS FOR YOUR WEEK!
“Being a queer black woman in America,” Monáe tells Brittany Spanos, her interviewer, “someone who has been in relationships with both men and women — I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker.’”
“How does one successfully navigate such a dramatic shift in a long-held and cherished identity?! Is it possible to have relationships with men devoid of internalized homophobia, misogyny, etc? Is it worthwhile to tell this person how I feel — could I possibly expect anyone to navigate all this baggage with me?”
Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson told Vanity Fair that she’s single and ready to mingle with men or women.
Fake clothes, dinosaur tracks, Roxane Gay’s latest project, maybe I don’t fully understand hate-reads, Julia Turshen is getting shit done, Kittie the band, the reality of the Pulse massacre, and so much more!
Alyson Stoner, who rose to fame through dancing in music videos and starring on the Disney Channel has come out in a beautifully moving and deeply vulnerable personal essay about falling in love with a woman.
You may have heard about the study this month that says some bi women report higher levels of psychopathy and narcissism — how legit is it really?
Also, Demi Lovato wants Kristen Stewart to call her.
“Sexual justice has to adapt. The alternative is awful.”
“I feel like I’m lying to my my parents, hiding part of myself, and disrespecting my girlfriend by constantly avoiding mentioning her or referring to her as my friend when my parents ask what’s going on in my life. Of course, I know coming out can be difficult in general, but I’m wondering if you have any advice for coming out in the context of a toxic family relationship? How can I best protect myself from the inevitable insults, yelling, and criticism while still being honest?”
