I wish I was the kind of girl who woke up at the same time every day, had an extensive skincare situation dialed in, and had finally cracked the code of which intense journaling system would help quiet my overworked and perpetually anxious brain, but that’s just not who I am.

It felt like this kind of thing came so easily when I was 25!

Our trans subject editor, out in the wild and with a gay bottle of mezcal.

I told you this routine was elaborate okay.

I asked her if I could have a human-sized cat cone, the one that makes it looks like your head is poking through a piece of toast. Sadly, I cannot — but I can get the brace I need in Tennessee Lady Vols orange, so at least I can support my favorite team while also making sure the top half of my body is the color of a construction cone so I don’t get hit by any cars.