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9 Sensual Gifts You Can Get for Your Own Damn Self This Valentine’s Day

I get it — Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone. From the commercialism to the hyper-focus on straight, monogamous relationships, there are plenty of reasons why this holiday rubs some of us the wrong way. But like I said last year, I believe in seizing every opportunity to enjoy life a little more — especially in February — and so, by the power vested in me as Autostraddle’s Sex & Dating Editor, I hereby grant you permission to get yourself a little V-Day treat, whether you’re “officially” celebrating this day or not.

Here are nine, sensual gifts you can get for your own damn self this year. While these gifts suit a variety of budgets, they all feel at least a little fancy.

Against a white and pink heart-covered background, there is a stack of three square boxes that are hot pink. In yellow text, the top box reads, "Smokes Albacore Tuna, Fishwife." In the center, there is an image of a woman wearing a ship on her head and smoking a pipe against a green background.

An Array of Tinned Fish from Fishwife (prices vary)

Last year Kayla delivered a critical message: It’s time to get into tinned fish. And you don’t have to save your fancy tinned fish for a date night! You deserve an elaborate spread while you watch Homeward Bound by yourself in your sweat pants. If you’re an A+ Member, you get access to Autostraddle’s A+ Marketplace, which gets you 15% off your Fishwife order.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there are orange briefs covered in a cactus print in the upper left corner of the image. In the bottom right corner, there are light blue boxer briefs covered in pizza print.

Underwear (prices vary)

Give your ass something nice to sit on. Personally, I’m a fan of MeUndies — they make ridiculously soft underwear in a variety of styles and prints (check out this Black Panther printthis pie print, or this inspiring “FUCK IT” print — sizes range from XS to 4XL). Are you more of a lingerie person? Check out Dani’s shopping guide for plus size lingerie. At the very least, replace your hole-iest pair of undies with a new pair from whatever brand suits your budget and your booty’s needs.

Against a white and pink heart-covered background, there is a purple wedge pillow with a pink dildo mounted in the top pocked and a Magic Wand vibrator mounted in the pocket on the left side.

Tula Toy Mount ($100)

Single folks deserve to ride and grind hands-free, too! Each pocket on the Tula toy mount can hold a dildo or vibrator. You can also use the mount on its own as a positioning pillow during sex or solo play. Oh, and in case you get really, um, “jazzed” about your hands-free humping, don’t worry — the zip-off cover is moisture resistant and machine washable. If your budget won’t allow you to drop $100 on a toy mount, gift yourself a suction cup dildo (like this $27 option) instead.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there is a brown glass jar with an image of a white marijuana leaf. Text on the jar reads, "Foria, Wellness Bath Salts with CBD and Lavender." The white salts with small dark flecks are exploding out from the top of the jar.

Foria Sensual Bath Salts ($38)

This Valentine’s Day, take some time to unwind. Upgrade your bath routine and try out Foria’s bath salts, which are infused with organically-grown kava, lavender, calendula, ginger, and 200mg of broad-spectrum CBD. For a budget-friendly option, snag some Dr. Teal’s Epsom Salt for $5.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there is a brown, open box containing eight, nut-covered chocolate truffles. The lid of the box is propped up in the background. Text on the box reads, "Queer Chocolatier."

Truffles from the Queer Chocolatier (prices vary)

If you don’t have a partner who’s going to buy you chocolate (or if you do have a partner and they’re not buying you enough chocolate), get yourself some truffles from the Queer Chocolatier — that way, you can fulfill your craving while supporting a queer-owned business. The company’s brick-and-mortar store is located in Muncie, Indiana, but they can also ship their truffles, drinking chocolate, and chocolate bars anywhere in the US.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there is a book featuring the upper bodies of two, nude women kissing in a shower. The title of the book is "Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 6." Text on the bottom of the book reads, "Edited by Sinclair Sexsmith." On the right, there is an image of a cell phone. On the screen, there is a purple and black cartoon image of a woman looking out a window. Below the image, text reads, "Through the Window." A media player on the bottom of the screen suggests that audio is playing.

Erotica (prices vary)

Warm up this winter with some erotic fiction, like Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 6 ($18.95). If you’re more of an audio erotica person, subscribe to Dipsea for $12.99/month and hear sexy stories read aloud by queer babes like E.R. Fightmaster. And for as little as $4/month, you can subscribe to A+ and get access to Autostraddle’s S L I C K erotica series, along with other perks.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there is a terracotta-colored candle shaped like the torso of a fat person with a round belly, curvy thighs, and large breasts.

CTOAN’s “Angel” Candle ($29)

I included CTOAN’s booty candle in a holiday shopping guide last year. This time, I’m highlighting the queer-owned, Black-owned company’s oh-so-sexy “Angel” candle, which comes in four different colors and four different scents (there’s also a fragrance-free option). Light it, watch it melt, and drool.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, a Black woman with her hair up lies on her stomach her elbows bent and her face against her hands. She is shirtless. The hands of a white woman extend from the left side of the image and massage the Black woman's back.

A Massage (prices vary)

Wouldn’t it be nice your shoulders didn’t feel like lumpy cement? Even if you have a partner who’s willing to rub your back, you deserve a massage from a professional (unless, of course, you happen to date a massage therapist, in which case — congrats! You’ve won). If a professional massage is out of your price range, trade neck rubs with a friend.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, their is a light blue silicone grinding toy shaped like a rose.

The Rosae Rose Grinder ($58)

Buy yourself a different kind of rose this Valentine’s Day. This silicone toy offers a unique texture for solo grinding, and you can also pass it off as a “decoration” on your bedside table. If you prefer butt stuff or if you’re on a tighter budget, try this Booty Blossom Butt Plug ($28) instead.

Against a white and pink background covered in hearts, there is a short glass containing a pink beverage. It's garnished with rosemary and a slice of grapefruit.

A Fancy Beverage (prices vary)

I don’t know which flavors you prefer, so rather than recommend a specific product, I’m just going to suggest that you get yourself a bottled or canned beverage that feels “fancy” to you (like your favorite kombucha or a CBD soda or maybe just a La Croix) or pick up some ingredients for a perfect hot chocolate, latte, mocktail, or cocktail. At the very least, sprinkle a little cinnamon in your morning coffee. You deserve some extra flavor in your day.

Are you planning to be your own valentine this year? How are you going to show yourself some love? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Ro White

Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Follow Ro on Twitter.

Ro has written 105 articles for us.


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