“The last verse of ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ sets me off.”

“Francine was almost definitely my root, so this is very affirming.”

“Who needs to pay for psychics when Autostraddle reads my mind like this?” (PS: There’s also a handmade Valentine in here, just for you, from my dog Milo!)

“Yes, give me a Nordic woman who can ski a lot then shoot an animal and haul it back to our cabin for dinner! Sign me up!”

“Two apples a day attract the Doctor. If you hear a TARDIS, get ready to run!”

“Best moment is being in a room full of gays singing along to the Golden Girls theme song!”

“The 80s welcome you back with a glass of lemonade in a clear plastic glass with lemons on it, and a smile on its face.”

“I humbly submit for consideration Molly’s extended meditation on why her teacher’s hair is so shiny.”

“The requirements for these merit badges are… different than I remember.”

“Thinking about the stud who hit on me in Penn Station. They were so smooth that I’m still thinking about it three years later.”

“My daily announcement that ‘MARISA TOMEI’ is an anagram of ‘IT’S A ME, MARIO.'”