13 New Years Resolutions You’re Welcome To Steal
I don’t know when we normalized asking people what their worst habits are, but at some point, we did and now we do it every year! I hate it!
I don’t know when we normalized asking people what their worst habits are, but at some point, we did and now we do it every year! I hate it!
2. I successfully transitioned my hair from a side part to a middle part. (This was directly inspired by the feature film M3GAN.)
Still, there remains a discrepancy between the public’s perception of modern comedy and the comedy that gives me child-like joy to consume. The difference, I have concluded, is the lack of visibility for diverse comics, and specifically queer and trans comics of color.
8. Go down a social media rabbit hole trying to figure out what your favorite high school English teacher is up to.
Who knew the vintage clown music box that inexplicably plays “Memories” from the musical Cats would be haunted?
“I haven’t even seen some of the absolute queer canon of movies. What’s the one with Cate Blanchett?”
“Owls are the most lesbian bird of prey imo.”
“Does Elliot Page give me notes? Elliot has not given me any notes but I would be open to hearing them.”
I’ve created a queer version of the classic board game Life! Let’s play, gays!
Option 1: Dress up as your ex using all of the clothes they left behind six years ago.
3. My bank account
Let’s do it, queers. Let’s embrace our seasonal chaotic energy and manifest it into long-term, healthy decisions!
Out of hot queer date ideas? I’ve got you covered.
Your Ex-Wife’s Sweater Weather.
“Do you have color-changing LED light bulbs and/or light strips?”
Performing seances is peak bisexual activity, whether you believe in the ghosts or you’re profiting from being a hot person who other people believe can talk to ghosts.
In which Kristen Arnett answers important questions, such as: Who were the biggest bottoms in Bottoms?
Bottoms Understands What Teen Lesbians Desire: Being Punched By Girls in the Face
Plus, a photo of us making out while she wears her literal GAY RIGHTS hat.
25. Atypically high utility bills :(