Lesbian sex: it’s a thing we have, but it’s also a thing we watch other people have on a screen! These formative cinematic experiences have helped make us the gay sexual creatures we are today.

I solicited hot lesbian sex scene tips on twitter (h/t to Andrea Long Chu for the signal boost) and combined that input with my own personal opinion, which includes the opinion that Elena Undone is a bad movie and nobody should have to watch it for any reason AND the opinion that the HBO biopic Gia made me gay.

Without any further ado, for this week’s edition of Lesbian Sex 101, let’s look at some of the genre’s most promising offerings!

This is not a comprehensive list, and only represents films available to stream. I imagine if you’re here with me today reading this, you’re probably not looking for recommendations on DVDs to mail-order. Just a hunch!

Kinky Lesbian Sex

Bound (1996)

Directed & Written By: Lana Wachowski & Lilly Wachowski

Lana and Lilly were fans of sex-positive guru Susie Bright’s Lesbian Sex World, so they sent her a package in the early ’90s that contained a draft of Bound, asking if she’d honor them with a cameo. (Lana and Lilly are sisters and trans women, at the time that this film was made, they were still presenting as male.) It wasn’t an unusual request or one that particularly interested her, but she was impressed by the studio they were associated with and thus sat down to read the script. She fell in love with it immediately and agreed to the cameo but also offered them a different type of support: “If you don’t think I’m too presumptuous, could I be your lesbian-sex consultant?,” she wrote. “I notice that whenever two lovers fall into an embrace, it doesn’t say exactly what happens next. On behalf of every moviegoer who can’t live through another syrupy, comb all lesbian love scene, could I please, please, please give you my words of advice on what two women like this would do in bed together?”  They said yes, and she did, and holy shit did that decision pay off!

The Duke of Burgundy (2015)

Directed & Written by: Peter Strickland

The Duke of Burgundy involves an extensive, drawn-out dom/sub (and sometimes master/slave) relationship between an lepidopterist (somebody who studies butterflies) and the maid she brings into her home who has a lot of very kinky desires. It’s a very… unique film? Also, there’s no actual nudity but the lingerie they’re wearing is so hot that it sort of compensates for itself.

Professor Marston & The Wonder Women (2017)

Directed & Written by: Angela Robinson

If you don’t want any men in your sex scenes, this isn’t the film for you. But if that element doesn’t turn you off, you’re in for a lesbian-written-and-directed DELIGHT. This movie is hot and kinky as hell and makes you feel like it’s okay to want what you want and it will probably inspire you to go out there and get what you want without shame or inhibition.

The Handmaiden (2016)

Directed by: Chan-wook Park
Written by: Chan-wook Park and Seo-Kyung Chung, adapted from Fingersmith, by Sarah Waters

A beautiful, thrilling, meticulously plotted film; sumptuous and precise and erotically charged throughout. I could watch it ten times and it wouldn’t be enough but nothing will ever beat that first twisty time. Pajaba called it “the lesbian gothic psychosexual romantic thriller of our dreams.” Teo Bugbee at MTV called it “a film dedicated to getting off on the creative potential of sexuality, and by grounding that open exploration of desire in a story where two women find freedom through each other.”

Wow Just a Lot of Lesbian Sex Happening

Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013)

Directed By: Abdel Kechiche
Written By: Julie Maroh, Ghalya Lacroix, and Abdel Kechiche

Clocking in with modern cinema’s longest lesbian sex scene, Blue is the Warmest Color divided the lesbian community into camps who felt it was entirely informed by the male gaze and those who felt it was incredible and also very hot. Blue is the Warmest Color has it all: strap-on fucking, 69’ing, scissoring, spaghetti-eating. Do people really 69 as much as they do in lesbian movies directed by men? Asking for a friend!

Concussion (2013)

Directed & Written By: Stacie Passon

After a concussion, a lesbian mom decides to become a sex worker who only sees women clients, leading to a bunch of small trysts and one complicated affair. Once upon a time I was feeling not particularly sexual but knew sex was on the agenda for that evening so I turned off all the lights and watched this movie with as much devoted attention as I possibly could muster and you know what, it worked!

Duck Butter (2018)

Directed by: Miguel Arteta
Written by: Miguel Arteta, Alia Shawkat

In her review, Heather Hogan wrote that the sex scenes, “which feel real and are not male gaze-y in any way,” were a highlight of this recent release, which sees Naima (Shawkat), a struggling actor in Los Angeles; and Sergio (Laia Costa); meet at a club and hook up and decide to spend a sleepless 24 hours together, having sex once an hour.

Room in Rome (2010)

Written & Directed by: Julio Medem

This is a terrible film you should probably watch on drugs. It’s also a film composed almost entirely of lesbian sex scenes and the two women involved in those scenes having conversations about their feelings and childhood trauma.

Below Her Mouth (2017)

Directed By: April Mullen
Written By: Stephanie Fabrizi

“One thing is clear about Below Her Mouth,” wrote Erin Sullivan in her minimally-starred review of Below Her Mouth, “its creators were committed to pulling off a realistic portrayal of what sex between two women can really look like for a mainstream audience. And they did! They did it so much. I’m talking a lot.” There are so many locations within a disaffected brooding artist’s loft/truck to fuck in, you know? And they do. They sure do so much!

Better Than Chocolate (1999)

Directed by: Anne Wheeler
Written by: Peggy Thompson

I’m sorry everybody but this is a mediocre film and the sex scenes give me chronic internalized homophobia but so many of you brought this up on twitter that I felt obligated to include it. It was, for its time, pretty wonderful. It does have, to its credit, a lot of sexual content — we’ve got a sex toy collector, we’ve got bodypaint sex, we’ve got shower sex, we’ve got bathroom sex complete with a line of lesbians (patiently??!) waiting to use the bathroom where sex is being had, we’ve got a Mom discovering sex toys! So much sex! Good on everybody involved in this seminal film for having sex!

Romantic Lesbian Sex

Kiss Me / Kyss Mig (2011)

Directed By: Alexandra-Therese Keining, Therese Keining
Written By: Alexandra-Therese Keining

One way to check if you’re really falling in love or not is to have sex. Just ask these two ladies who are about to become step-sisters! It’s complicated, sure, but any lesbian could tell you that complicated is just another word for “irresistibly hot.”

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Directed by: Shamim Sarif
Written by: Shamim Shaif, Kelly Moss

This film is a tale of what happens when two very attractive women sustain intense amounts of sexual tension for a series of minutes, breaking every now and then to release that tension through sex scenes. Erin loved it!

Stud Life (2012)

Written & Directed By: Campbell Ex

In her review on Pride.com, Kat Blaque called Stud Life “painfully slow” and didn’t really buy into the relationship at the story’s center — but gave it props for authenticity and for depicting SEX between two Black women, which is unfortunately rare in lesbian film.

Summertime / La Belle Saison (2016) (France)

Directed by: Catherine Corsini
Written by: Catherine Corsini & Laurette Polmanss

The poster for this film is not lying to you. The two women at the center of this story set in 1971 — about a young woman from the French countryside who moves to Paris to get away from her parents, where she falls in with a group of politically engaged feminists and falls in love with their leader Carol — do indeed spend a lot of time naked. They even have great French countryside sex!

There’s Only One Sex Scene But It Sure Is Hot!

Atomic Blonde (2017)

Directed By: David Leitch
Written By: Kurt Johnstad

My jaw dropped right there in the movie theater when this sex scene began because it was so hot and so real and there it was in a mainstream movie! “Honestly I really thought Atomic Blonde was the best I’ve ever seen,” wrote @nollers on twitter, “which sounds ridiculous because the scenes are so short, but the heat felt real and the progression felt natural and sincere. It was so passionate and honestly, I’m a sucker for the little bit of danger.”

Chloe (2010)

Directed by: Atom Egoyan
Written by: Erin Cressida Wilson

An erotic thriller that sees Catherine (Julianne Moore) hiring Chloe (Amanda Seyfried) to attempt to seduce her husband but, of course, we know how these things go — she finds Chloe’s descriptions of hooking up with her husband to be kinda hot and before you know it the two ladies have a romp of their own. Can you endure the entire ridiculous film for three minutes of Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried having lesbian sex? There’s only one way to find out!

There’s Only One Sex Scene But It Sure Is Exciting!

Disobedience (2018)

Directed by: Sebastián Lelio
Written by: Sebastián Lelio and Rebecca Lenkiewicz, based on the novel by Naomi Alderman

The first thing anybody ever learned about Disobedience was that it included a lesbian sex scene involving somebody spitting into somebody else’s mouth. “All the wetness, the spitting in the mouth, the pubic hair, the vaginas, but also leaving some of it to the audience to imagine,” said Rachel Weisz to Heather Hogan on the actual telephone, regarding this 6-minute sex scene. “Where is the other woman’s mouth, where are her fingers? It was important for him to focus on our faces to really capture that desire. There’s something very spiritual about their sex. I’m really proud of it.”

Carol (2015)

Directed by: Todd Haynes
Written by: Phyllis Nagy, based on the novel by Patricia Highsmith

Have you heard of this movie? There’s a very nice May/December lesbian romance that eventually consummates itself.

Saving Face (2005)

Directed By: Alice Wu
Written By: Alice Wu

Coming in at #3 on our 100 Best Lesbian Movies of All Time list, Saving Face‘s sex scene is also brief, but it’s such a rewarding and joyful sexual experience for the characters, who are by the way naked.

Gia (1997)

Directed By: Michael Cristofer
Written By: Jay McInerney, Michael Cristofer

An erotically-charged photoshoot involving lesbian groping through a chain-link fence, followed by intense lesbian sex, followed by and also honestly proceeded by a lot of “Angelina Jolie with her shirt off.” There’s a lot of physical intimacy with her on-again-off-again girlfriend in this film, which is ultimately a tragic, heartbreaking story, based on a heartbreaking real life.

The Carmilla Movie (2017)

Directed By: Spencer Maybee
Written By: Alejandro Alcoba and Jordan Hall

The two women in question shed their period outfits before settling into a solid five minutes or so of lesbian sex, executed with loving, genuine detail. Bonus points for setting it to Uh Huh Her, my own personal Sex Soundtrack of 2007.

Becks (2017)

Directed By: Daniel Powell & Elizabeth Rohrbaugh
Written By: Daniel Powell, Elizabeth Rohrbaugh & Rebecca Drysdale

Hayley Kiyoko is in this movie, but she’s not in this sex scene. Just so you know. I can’t tell you why she’s not in it because that would be a spoiler. But the women in this sex scene are named Mena Suvari, who perhaps you have heard of, and Lena Hall, who you have now officially heard of.

There’s Only One Sex Scene But It Sure Is Revelatory!

Desert Hearts (1985)

Directed By: Robert Louis Stevenson, Donna Deitch
Written By: Jane Rule, Natalie Cooper

Desert Hearts features the first lesbian sex scene in a lesbian-made movie to get a major theatrical release.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

Directed by: Jamie Babbit
Written by: Brian Wayne Peterson and Jamie Babbit

This entire film was notoriously de-sexed in order to avoid an NC-17 rating, but the tender, softly soundtracked furtive sex scene between Graham and Megan at conversion camp holds a special place in our hearts. “But I’m a Cheerleader’s sex scene didn’t make me gay,” wrote @DeepLezPower on twitter, “but it definitely helped.”

Princess Cyd (2017)

Directed by: Stephen Cone
Written by: Stephen Cone

The scene is short, but it’s sweaty and sweet and touching and revelatory, too.

Obviously not every great moment in cinematic lesbian sex was included here, which means I bet you’ll have some to add in the comments! FYI, The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love and If These Walls Could Talk 2 are not available on Netflix, Amazon or Hulu, so they are not included here.