Pretty Little Liars Recap 407: Crash and Burn and Take Off Your Pants, Girl!
Okay. A murderous, cyber-stalking, all-knowing bully I can grasp, but any teen girl talking to her dad like this? No way.
Orange is the New Black 105: Chick-Fil-A Has Nothing On This Episode
“Nothing like clean pores to motivate the capture and slaughter of a chicken.”
“The Fosters” Episode 108 Recap: Ho Ho Ho, Lena’s Ex Is Coming To Town
“I think Hot Cops from Arrested Development but all ladies but Lena ruins that vision.”
“Orange Is The New Black” Episode 104 Recap: Who Gets To Sleep In The Wet Spot
All those times where you’re like, is it squirt, is it pee, who has to sleep in the wet spot, do we lay down a towel before sex now, etc.
“Orange Is The New Black” Episode 103 Recap: Lesbians Are Very Dangerous
Let’s just go right ahead and kick off this recap with a gif of Alex. Let’s make that a thing that we do, okay?
Pretty Little Liars 406: Under the Gay Fiddle
It’s Open Mic Night in Rosewood and Emily’s about to learn just how good Shana is at fingering.
“Orange Is The New Black” Episode 102 Recap: Punchin’ Titties 101
I look forward to your angry defensive comments re: the benefits of ingesting menstrual blood.
“The Fosters” Episode 107 Recap: You’re Always Welcome At Hotel Mariana
“When they pry themselves apart, Lexi tells Jesus that her parents took her computer and phone and locked her away in Cookie Monster’s tower where she has to spin gold.”
Orange Is The New Black 101: And There Are Lesbians
Lesbian criminals who are members of an international drug cartel, what the fuck else is up.
Pretty Little Liars 405: Gamma Zeta Die You Straight Dude Flirting With Emily
It’s college visit week in Rosewood and Emily has a sorority she really wants to visit, if you know what I mean. Also featuring a straight dude who can’t figure out that Emily is gay and Aria’s ugliest skirt yet!
“The Fosters” Episode 106 Recap: Houses of Horrors
In which there is a party, halibut, and a knock at the door.
Pretty Little Liars 404: Facepalm Time
Rosewood is crawling with masks this week, but all Emily cares about is when she, her shoulder and Paige are going to be back in action.
“The Fosters” Episode 105 Recap: Remember When You Used to Love My Chimichangas?
Digression 6: My first lesbian date ended on the roof of a small town Pizza Hut, but she knew what we were doing because she helped me push the dumpster up against the wall.
Pretty Little Liars 403: Cat’s Cradle, Silver Snoop
The week on Pretty Little Liars everyone is snooping around and we catch up on some Deep Thoughts with Melissa Hastings.
“The Fosters” Episode 104 Recap: The One With The Quinceañera
“He slurs, “It’s a party, Stef. Have some fun.” Geez Mike. Way to get personal. Everyone knows lesbians are no fun.”
Pretty Little Liars Recap 402: Turn Of The U-Haul
In which Paige and Emily virtually U-Haul and Aria considered a longterm sub-dom BDSM relationship.
“The Fosters” Episode 103 Recap: Taking the Taco Truck to Gay Town
“Steph is making cheese sandwiches with no condiments of any kind. Lesbian moms are cruel.”
Pretty Little Liars 401: A is for A-L-I-V-E, B is for B-U-T-C-H
The season premiere of Pretty Little Liars finally answered all of our burning questions! Like which college will Emily and Paige UHaul off to in the fall?!
“The Fosters” Episode 102 Recap: Little Lying Lhasa Apsos
“My sister has Lhasa Apsos and one of them bit my son in the face and now I don’t like Lhasa Apsos and this is unintentional foreshadowing because it turns out I don’t like Marianna much in this episode either.”
“The Fosters” Episode 101 Recap: Fosters, I Barely Know Hers!
“Steph is wearing a worn out t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants which is very similar to what I wore to drop off my kids at school this morning. #lesbianmomuniform.”