Orange Is the New Black Episode 512 Review: Half-Baked Proposal
The SWAT team approaches and Larry returns. LARRY.
The SWAT team approaches and Larry returns. LARRY.
You want to know what I learned from seven seasons of watching Pretty Little Liars? The best you can hope for as a woman in this world is to make yourself boring and docile and helpless enough that a man will ultimately intervene and save you from interesting women, and also from yourself.
After an episode of literal torture, OITNB focuses on the stories it tells best: the ones about family.
Spectacles rely on spectators, and I for one am not going to be pulled into this show anymore just to watch violence for the sake of violence. I can watch the news and do that, thanks.
“This was the point in this episode, and there were points like this in almost every episode, where I went cold and just thought ‘Why am I still watching this fucking show?'”
“It is, and I say this without any hyperbole or doubt, the closest I have EVER come on television to seeing a love that looks mine and looks like how I express it. Ever. Ever. EVER.”
“Tied To The Tracks” is a slow burn compared to the season’s first six episodes of Orange Is the New Black that mostly boasted a crowded ensemble acting out cruelly in the name of justice for Poussey.
This is the show that I fell in love with. Women, helping each other through their pain. Women, finding family. Women, finding support from one another while in the pits of the darkest places they can imagine.
A very horrible death and a surprise visit from an angel.
Spiders and scissoring. Just another day in Purgatory.
I’m not going to lie, there was something oddly cathartic about seeing a pile of Cheetos burst into flames.
After four episodes of chaos and lack of direction both within Litchfield and the overall arc of the season, Orange Is the New Black finally managed to pull it together enough to produce an episode worth watching (save for one MAJOR issue).
Everyone deals with their impending prosecution for murder by having sex with their high school sweethearts.
Angie announces, “I’m the jefe now!” with one of the harshest American “j” sounds ever and decides there will be a talent show and the guard/hostages will perform. So, we know where this is going.
Really, Linda? Really?
Hey did y’all know white guys have feelings too?
It wasn’t a death dream! Our favorite beautiful bisexual genetic science mastermind is alive!
“You’re gonna want a quick, catchy clickbait. Something to really grab the liberal market — that’s who you wanna appeal to.”
Now with 100% more Tamsin!
None of us have ever deserved Mona Vanderwaal.