Glee Episode 511 Recap: The City of Angels and Wine Demons
This week on Glee, everybody competed in a big contest and some people won and some people lost and other people ate pudding for dinner with forks!
Once Upon A Time Episode 312 Recap: Well, I’ll Be A Monkey’s Uncle!
Yes, I am going to fill this recap with as many monkey puns as possible. No, there is nothing you can do to stop me.
“The Fosters” Episode 119 Recap: Buy One Dad Storyline, Get Two Free
“Brandon tells Dani he’ll pay her back but she says it was a gift and giving makes her happy, happy, happy! Then, she says she has one request and I don’t want to know what it is. I pause the show, eat Skittles and consider quitting the recapping life.”
Pretty Little Liars Recap Episode 422: Let’s Just Randomly Make Up Who “A” Is
The one where the writer’s were like, “Meh, let’s just accuse random people of being A from now on. Who cares if it makes any sense?”
Glee Episode 510 Recap: Trio Of Horror Tower Of Terror
This week on Glee, everybody yelled at each other some more! Then there was a cool band at a hot club called CALLBACKS. Also, I think waitress uniforms are the new Cheerios uniforms.
“The Fosters” Episode 118 Recap: Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Lying Foster Brother
This makes no sense. You would hand out a letter to each person as they arrive, starting with the first. Brandon arrived last which means he should have been left with the last “S.” YOU CANNOT JUST HAND OUT LETTERS RANDOMLY!
Glee Episode 509 Recap: Frenimies Forever!
This week on Glee, various lyrics were sung in bizarre contexts and everybody slapped everybody else in the face!
Pretty Little Liars Episode 421 Recap: She’s Come Undone
Spencer is riding the strugglebus.
“The Fosters” Episode 117 Recap: Much Ado About Panties
“The combination of lesbians and hummus is always funny to me. I’m easy.”
Pretty Little Liars Episode 420 Recap: Free Fall, Expensive Pills
Get ready to learn so much about Ezra.
“The Fosters” Episode 116 Recap: Brandon and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Judgement
Remember all the hope I had for Brandon? My hope is Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings lesbians will never put my hope for this character back together again.
Star Trek N00b, Episode 11: The Corbomite Maneuver (Kirk’s P-P-Poker Face)
Didn’t you get the memo about threatening shapes?
Pretty Little Liars 419 Recap: Shadow Play, or One With Paige Finally
In this episode, we, for no explainable reason, go back in time to the 1940s. But Emily and Paige “climb trees,” so I’m fine with it.
“The Fosters” Episode 115 Recap: Oh My God It’s Like Evil In My Mouth
“The doorbell rings and it’s Emma the Wrestler with noodle kugel! We get a little primer on how Jews respond to funerals. Hint: They bring kugel. Every time they say “kugel,” I hear “kegel” and do 15.”
Pretty Little Liars Episode 418: Not Hot, Just Bothered With Teacher
The episode where we finally see the EzrA lair!
“The Fosters” Episode 114 Recap: We Could All Use Some Jesus Time
Stef is watering the bushes when Lena gets home from the doctor and says, “Have fun at the gyno?” Lena says, “It’s more action than I’ve gotten from you in awhile.”
Lost Girl 404: Everyone’s Full of Feels
Bo comes home, Tamsin grows up and Lauren and Betty McRae have the most awkward post-sex process ever.
American Horror Story 313 Recap: The Seven Wonders (of Myrtle Snow)
“I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that not ONE of these witches has made a Diana Ross Supremes joke. Not once. And they say “Supreme” every five seconds. OPPORTUNITY MISSED.”
Pretty Little Liars Recap 417: Bite Your Tongue
This episode involved my two worst fears: fucking with teeth and being on a date with someone who would wear a long-sleeve polo shirt.
“The Fosters” Episode 113 Recap: A Group Home Of Our Own
“Back at wrestling practice, Perky Emma of the Ankle Picks offers Jesus a cookie — an organic cookie with no dyes. Maybe she has lesbian moms too.”