The number one question outsiders seem to have about lesbian sex is “What is lesbian sex?” So about four years ago, we made you this diagram:
But now, ladies and lady gentlemen, we have a much more specific answer for you. The data below has been extracted from our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey, which was completed by over 13,000 queer women. We asked “Which of these activities has been a regular part of your sex life within the last year?” and had a list of options, in which they could indicate that that is a part of their sex life in a giving and/or receiving capacity. The data below reflects the most popular answers given by lesbian-identified women in relationships (monogamous or non-monogamous).
The Top 15 Lesbian Sex Activities In Order Of Popularity
1. Clitoral Stimulation – 99%
In 1933, Sigmund Freud famously remarked “Elimination of clitoral sexuality is a necessary precondition for the development of femininity, since it is immature and masculine in its nature.” He was dead wrong. In fact, most women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Plus, it’s the only human organ that exists exclusively for pleasure!
2. Fingering (genitals, internal) – 97.2%
Also known as: finger-banging, finger-fcking and, you know, “fcking.”
3. Oral sex (genitals) – 95.2%
4. Frottage/dry humping – 79.6%
Teenagers and lesbians: mastering the fine art of dry-humping since the dawn of time.
5. Nipple play – 73.1%
Research has shown that nipple stimulation activates the same region of the brain as clitoral and genital stimulation.
6. Strap-on play – 58.8%
We get a lot of questions from readers about buying a strap-on harness and recommend, if you can afford it, a Spare Parts Joque Harness. Other articles to check out:
- Real Talk About Your First Strap-On
- Anonymous Sex Tow Review: The Super Femme Sasha Harness
- Harnesses For Trans Women
- Strap-On and NSFW Holiday Shopping Guide
Another 22% of y’all indicated that oral sex using a strap-on is a regular part of your sex life.
7. Vibrators – 55.5%
The most famous vibrator is probably the Hitachi Magic Wand, which is not technically a vibrator at all. (But it recently came out with a rechargeable edition you might like!) There are lots of awesome vibrators out there, like The Womanizer, the Iroha Mini Vibe, the We-Vibe Tango, the Rechargeable Rabbit, the Ammo Mei and the Stronic Drei. Couples vibrators are a thing too, like The We-Vibe 4. Fun fact: 49% of survey-takers usually use vibrators while masturbating.
8. Dildos – 55%
There are pros and cons to double-ended dildos and lots of places where your dildo might be illegal. Dildos come in all shapes, styles (like the pack and play), sizes (including “VERY BIG“), and materials — glass, silicone, stainless steel, stone — many designed for stand-alone usage and many designed specifically for being used with a harness. Are you passionate about neon pink? There’s a dildo for that.
9. Spanking – 50%
Among survey-takers who indicated being interested in kink, 58% enjoy spanking their partner and 62% enjoy getting spanked.
10. Scissoring – 34%
11. Anal play (external) – 31%
20% of lesbians also indicated that they regularly participated in “rimming” (oral anal play).
12. Anal penetration – 25.2%
Anal penetration also was the most frequent sex act cited in our open-ended question “what is your least-favorite sex act?” Even if you’re not into anal, you really should read this review of the Njoy Pure Plug, because it’s hilarious. If you’re interested in trying anal, we have a post for that.
13. BDSM – 22.2%
The BDSM acronym represents Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission and Sadism & Masochism. Some of our most popular sex posts have been related to BDSM-related activities, such as Bondage For Beginners, How to Tie Someone Up, Read a F*cking Book About BDSM, Top Five Ways To Consensually Hit Your Sex Partner and What We Talk About When We Talk About Flogging.
14. Other sex toy play – 22%
Of survey-takers who use sex toys, 47% own four or more of them, 75% purchase them in stores and 64% have purchased sex toys online.
15. Fisting (vaginal) – 18%
Admittedly we were pretty surprised by how low fisting ranked, but here’s five tips for aspirational fisters out there.