Welcome to Butt Week, friends! An entire week dedicated to butts and butt-adjacent stuff: how-tos, thoughtful essays, original art, pop culture critiques, music and more! You are absolutely not ready for this and yet it is happening to you, right now. Today we’re republishing a classic sex toy review to end all sex toy reviews. Originally published October 22, 2013, were we ever so young.
Njoy Pure Plug
Material: Stainless Steel
Size: (three sizes) 1″, 1.25″, 1.5″
I’m coming to you today as someone who, prior to this review, had only put a few things in her asshole. The tip of a finger here, a vibrator there, nothing too serious. And just so you know where I’m coming from, I’ve never had anything as large as a dildo or butt plug in my asshole. I just want you guys to know I’m a beginner here.
I got the Pure Plug in the mail and let it sit on my counter for about a week. This was not because I was scared of using a butt plug. It was more that I was so freaking turned on by the idea of using a butt plug I didn’t want to actually use it and have it be over!
You see, for years now I’ve been someone who was — how do I say this — conceptually aroused by the idea of having an asshole. So for example when a girl is fucking me if I can’t cum, I can just think about my asshole. Just thinking its existence, or how it feels to have one side of my asshole touching the other side of my asshole and maybe incidental contact it might be receiving can usually make me cum. This has been going on for about ten years now, and yet it only occurred to me when I stuck the small end of the Njoy Pure Wand in my ass that maybe I should get a butt plug.
Okay, I’ll be honest, it occurred to me sooner but I was too embarrassed to buy any of the ass play sex toys I saw in sex shops. There I’d be, standing in the middle of Babeland buying a new paddle or squeezing the Shiloh and the Mustang, trying to decide between them, all the while side-eyeing the glistening stainless steel butt plugs.
So when I got the Pure Plug in the mail from Babeland it was like Christmas. Christmas for my asshole. And yes, after a few tantalizing days, I did take that butt plug down off the counter and put it in my asshole.
Here’s what I did. I had the smallest of the sizes (the Pure Plug comes in three) and I went really really sloooooooooow. And I used All The Lube. Mechanically, I laid on my back, threw my legs over my head a la a yoga “plow” and then inserted the Pure Plug with the curve pointing towards my belly button.
Actually, first I inserted it in my vagina because I am much more accustomed to shoving things in there and it made me feel more acquainted with the size of the thing.
Anyways so I just sort of let the tip of the Pure Plug hang out around my asshole while I started masturbating. I suggest little circles. Before I knew it the Pure Plug was about halfway in and then — “Plop!” My asshole sucked it right in. Well all the way in over the plug. The handle loop was still stick out.
This is a good time to remind everyone that your asshole is a swirling vortex that will suck in anything you let it, so your sex toys all need to have a three inch flange. Many stainless steel butt plugs (like the kind with the jewels on them) don’t have a large enough flange! The flange is sometimes even smaller than the plug! The Pure Plug’s flange is right on the cusp of being large enough lengthwise, but it’s so thick and stiff that it would be difficult for your asshole to suck it in. That being said, a removable flange might just give you more peace of mind.
Regardless, like I was saying, with time, patience and lube, you too can experience the wonder of having your asshole suck something in. It feels good. If you know the feeling of going from “Not Quite Fisting” to “Fisting,” it feels like a less intense version of that.
Now that you’ve all come on this First Butt Plug Journey with me, let me start out the actual product review by telling you that nothing, and I mean nothing, feels as smooth as stainless steel on your asshole. If you’re someone who is turned on by sensation of soft, heavy smooth surfaces across any part of your body you’re going to be turned on by the Njoy Pure Plug. It’s just impossible not to be.
Once it was in, however, I found the real draw to be the weight of it. Even the smallest Pure Plug is 5oz and that feels extra heavy when it’s inside your asshole. As someone who’s so turned on by the idea of their asshole conceptually, I found that the weight brought my attention right to my asshole. Constantly. This was a turn on all by itself.
To be clear, you don’t use a butt plug like a dildo. You generally don’t thrust in and out. Instead you stick it in and mostly just leave it there. I did, of course, figure out some neat ways to bump up my enjoyment. One way I found was to go about all of my normal penetrative and/or clitoral stimulation but clench my sphincter muscles against the thin part of the Pure Plug. Another option was to rock the exterior of the plug back and forth gently. I also tried holding a vibrator against the exterior portion and the metal conducted the vibration to every last inch of my genitals. All of it was delightful. All of it.
Here’s the thing; once you come, you still have a butt plug in. In my experience, after I come I usually don’t feel like having my butt plug in anymore. Unfortunately, to me, pushing a butt plug out feels just exactly like taking the cleanest most amazing shit of your entire life. To date I am not yet, for this reason, comfortable taking the Pure Plug out while in bed. Usually I bask in post-orgasm glory and then sneak off to the bathroom to remove it. This is also sort of convenient because then I can wash it with antibacterial soap and water. You can also boil it or run it through the dishwasher.
The only downside I’ve found thus far is that, even though I’d never used a butt plug before, I found myself wishing I’d bought the medium or large size. The small is really quite small.
So would I recommend the Njoy Pure Plug? Duh! Did you just read that review? I sound like one of those people just discovering their clits for the first time!
If you’re someone who’s just getting interested in venturing into the world of butt play I think the Pure Plug is a great place to start. While I believe the price tag is worth it, it might be a good option after trying something else that’s cheaper first. If you’re someone who already knows they love butt plugs you can probably just go ahead and buy the Pure Plug right this very minute and move on with your life. You’re going to like it.
This is one of the best reviews I’ve read in a long time. For anything.
So pretty. Must ownnnnnnn
Thanks for provide me such a great information
First of all, I just want to say I love how much this review uses the word asshole.
Second of all, this review really made me wish I was into ass play as much as you :(
That being said I still thoroughly enjoyed this review! Butt plugs just got more intriguing to me than they already were!
Side note: have I mentioned how much I fucking love this website?!
can i fit a bullet vibrator in the handle? to have a vibrating butt plug?
this is a work of art.
Oh wow, I loved hearing [redacted] read this at camp, but the pictures and captions just add another layer of amazing.
It was amazing! I laughed, I cried, I cried laughing and laughed crying
Best sex toy review of all time
this should win an award.
seven years later i still think this is award winning journalism.
“your asshole is a swirling vortex that will suck in anything you let it” is the new “we are all stardust”
Can somebody make this a t-shirt? Preferably printed in a hipstery font over a galaxy pattern?
IF SOMEONE MAKES THIS I WANT IT ON MY BODY.
Here you go, quick – someone put it on a shirt so we can all be like “I was wearing shirts about vortex assholes before it was cool”.
I tried to enter 0 but couldn’t choose anything less than 5% for the royalties, so if anyone actually purchases this, that cut will go to autostraddle dot com
you should buy one for your gf. She’d love this.
That is masterful.
Oh Joy Sex Toy also reviewed this and I can’t decide which review I like most <3 (but am generally convinced that I need one of these now)
This one, FOR SURE. Oh Joy Sex Toy has the anal safety snails (again, we need t-shirts!) and is what initially convinced me that I needed it as well, but this version was just amazing.
omg, this review is perfect. I think I need to go put something in my asshole.
I read this this morning, and googled the word ‘flange’. This afternoon, someone mentioned the flange of a pipe, and I casually defined it for my confused aunt. Never before has a sex toy review made me seem so intelligent.
In Ireland flange is slang for vagina so that confused me, I thought we were talking abouts butts here.
Just by the by, I bought one of these once, but found that it was too heavy for me to be able to keep it inside myself. It kept falling out on me. I can’t remember which size it was, but the “head” of these plugs is very small.
That said, I have an NJoy Pure Wand with which I am in love, so I agree about the “metal on your asshole” thing.
How about this wooden dildos, what do you thing , they are made by my friends, so please check them out
oh my lord…..I am in awe of this review. Will seriously give butt play more thought.
Njoy make some of the best sex toys out there in my opinion. Yes they do look a little barbaric, but wow do these little babies work well. I found mine at an online sex toys store and its been one of my best purchases.
seven years later and this still does not miss. and now i own it and me and my butthole are thrilled about it.
oh thank GOD this is back.
I have no words butt …
“conceptually aroused by the idea of having an asshole.” love this
I can attest that this post in 2013 eventually inspired me to buy my own njoy butt plug once I was willing to admit I enjoyed anal sex (a few years later).