NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants You to Read a F*cking Book about BDSM: The Ultimate Guide

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When we talked about how to have lesbian sex for the first time, we told you we’d keep it simple and vanilla. But it can be tons of fun to make things a little kinkier, which is why we’ve declared that February is Bondage Month on Autostraddle! Every week we’ll publish a Bondage-themed NSFW Sunday and a non-Bondage-themed NSFW Sunday, which is double the fun for those of you who enjoy both.

So far, we’ve talked about:

+ Bondage 101: A Lesbian Sexy NSFW Sunday Special
+ NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants to Tie You Up 100 Times
+ Writing Dirty With Rachel Kramer Bussel: The Autostraddle Interview

Today, we’re talking books about bondage! Let’s get started.

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If You Only Read Three Books, Read These

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, are fantastic introductions to the basics of topping and bottoming. Both books are more about thinking and general practices than they are technical guides, and both are a really good place to start (or return to) when practicing BDSM.

Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction, by Jay Wiseman, is a more technical introduction to S/M and bondage. Rather than dealing with advanced techniques or focussing on one area in particular, Wiseman focusses on turning readers who know basically nothing into readers who know basically something about negotiations, safety, finding or building S/M relationships, basic bondage techniques (such as how to tie someone up), other bondage techniques (such as how to blindfold, gag, or cuff someone), giving and receiving pain, flagellation, clamps, lube, dominant/submissive interactions, and more. Also, it’s mostly gender neutral!

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The Other Basics

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The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge, edited by Tristan Taormino, is a collection that includes how-to guides; essays on desire, power, and pleasure; role-playing fantasies; personal manifestos; and illustrations. Contributors include Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel, and Edge.

Bondage For Sex, by Chanta Rose, addresses misconceptions about bondage and provides several step-by-step guides for getting started.

See also:

+ How to be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM, by Morpheous
+ Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
+ Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, by Bill Henkin and Sybil Holiday
+ The Loving Dominant, by John Warren
+ When Someone You Love is Kinky, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
+ Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Fetishes, by Violet Blue
+ Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, by William Brame and Gloria Brame
+ Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives Sadomasochism, edited by Darren Langdridge and Meg Barker

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How-To Guides

Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage and Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes, by Two Knotty Boys, are fantastic, detailed guides to rope bondage. With basic information about safety and rope, illustrated instructions for tying knots, simple techniques, and more advanced instructions.

Kinkycrafts: 99 Do-It-Yourself S/M Toys for the Kinky Handyperson, edited by Lady Green and Jaymes Easton (and its sequel, 21st Century Kinkycrafts), is everything relevant to your interests and more. If you have ever wondered how to make a dildo out of bubble wrap, this is the book for you. (Other items include blindfolds, a strap-on harness, a motion detector vibrator, leather paddles, gags, clamps, velcro restraints, and something called “total pantyhose bondage.”)

See also:

+ Play Piercing, by Deborah Addington
+ Flogging, by Joseph W. Bean
+ Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé, by Lee Bridgett Harrington
+ The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, by Midori

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Erotica

You can find bondage erotica all over the place! Below are a few suggestions from sources we know/love (and from things tagged bdsm lesbian sex on Amazon), but if something you love isn’t here, share it in the comments!

Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica, edited Tristan Taormino, is everything you want and everything you hope for in something called “Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica.” Girls tying each other up? Check. Femmes? Check. Top fetishes and cops? Check. An incredible number of awesome writers? Check. From Laura Antoniou’s “The First Time”:

“The first time I was bound, it was by a stranger. A tall, powerful woman who could have lived my life twice with time to spare. She buckled worn, leather cuffs onto my wrists and locked them in place and slapped me, hard. I could not look at her while she completed the rituals that transformed her from the rough-voiced seducer in a crowded and smoky bar into the sleek, silken seductress who could charm the most frightened young woman into a very dangerous game. I knew the proper words to say and the proper games to play, but still I went with her to a place I did not know, leaving no one behind to call for me, or to know into whose hands I had given myself.”

Best Bondage Erotica 2012, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, includes stories of self-domination, ropes, cuffs, corsets, and cling wrap. From Kathleen Tudor’s “Knot Alone”:

“I use a scarf for this tie, long and silky and easier to manipulate. It isn’t easy to tie your hands securely together behind your back, but I manage. I’ve practices for tonight so that everything will go perfectly. The scarf slips over my skin, tightening just as it has when I’ve practiced, putting me instantly into my submissive place. I am bound, helpless and exposed before my own reflection.”

Salacious Magazine is a queer feminist sex magazine that combines writing, art, comics, and illustration together for sexy awesome fun. Issue #3: Leather is not to be missed. From Tillie King’s “Leather: Finding my Language”:

“It is about sex. It’s not about sex. It’s about more than sex. It’s about belonging, feeling safe inside it. It’s about recognition. It’s about being a strange mutation within a species, about finding your own kind and being able to fall into step with them. It’s about recognizing through pain and restriction, grunts and screams, violence and exhibitionism, guardedness and roles, for some of us, joy and silence, togetherness and peace is born.”

See also:

+ Pleasure Bound: True Bondage Stories, edited by Alison Tyler
+ Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint, edited by Alison Tyler
+ Secret Slaves: Erotic Stories of Bondage, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and Christopher Pierce
+ Sugar and Spice: A Collection of Kinky Girl-on-Girl Stories, by Mira Paul

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Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Editor and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Bitch, Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 781 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. These are excellent suggestions. The thing I would add: if you’re drawn to the “bottom” role, read the New Topping Book, and if you’re drawn to the “topping” role, read the New Bottoming Book. Bottoms, in particular, don’t always get to see and appreciate the top’s point of view and wonder why tops can be so reticent at the beginning.

    Jay’s book is also excellent. Jay also moderates a group under his own name on the Facebook-for-kinky people site Fetlife, where there are many women-only and women-focused BDSM discussion groups.

    Tie each other up (safely!) and have fun, kids!

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