The Happiest Place On Earth
“I was guilty and heartbroken and I wasn’t ready to let go of her: my first kiss, my first time, my first girlfriend, my first love, my first everything and before that, my best friend.”
#PolyamoryProblems: Advice for Newbies with Too Many Feelings
For some polyam newbies, big feelings can make you feel out of control. Dating experienced people can be a gift, but it could also mean that you defer to your partner’s word instead of advocating for your needs. Find out why you should never stand for someone telling you that having feelings means you’re not really polyamorous.
#PolyamoryProblems: How Can I Make My Primary Partner Have More Fun?
Stop trying to make your vanilla partner more kinky!
When I Got COVID, My Wife and I Went Through It Together; How Will Things Change When She Returns to the Office?
“We probably won’t be together this much again until we’re both retired, and even though it has been, at times, harder than anything either of us could have imagined when the pandemic started, it’s also been some of our sweetest, most intimate, silliest, funnest times we’ve ever had as a couple.”
After a Crash Course in Cohabitation, My Pandemic Relationship Will Have to Weather Outside Socialization
“I usually have an anxious attachment style, and it has moved toward becoming more secure during the pandemic, but that could shift again as we start to spend more time apart. I’m anticipating having to check in with myself about those things. I’m anticipating change in general, but after a year that included a lot of monotony, I’m not scared of change. Bring it on tbh.”
You Need Help: How Do I Be a Good Partner to My Trans Girlfriend?
Being too eager or too worried about saying the right thing can be just as alienating as disapproval.
#PolyamoryProblems: How To Deal With Jealousy
This month, jealousy rears its pesky head for one polyamory veteran. Find out how to normalize jealousy, decode your feelings, and reframe jealousy as a gift to point you towards exploration and growth.
Love Is Not a Lie, It’s Science!
Love is pure. Love is real. But mostly, love is a bunch of neurotransmitters.
#PolyamoryProblems: How Do I Stop Getting Vetoed by My Dates’ Partners?
You’ve been vetoed — that truly sucks! A veto is where each person in a relationship has the power to end the other person’s relationships — “I vote against you dating this person. Break up with them now because I said so and I’m the most important, thanks!!”
You Need Help: How Can I Help My Partner With COVID Anxiety?
When your anxiety stems from a valid concern about a real and terrifying threat, it’s hard to draw the line between reasonable fear and full-blown panic – here are some concrete tips for managing COVID anxiety.
Direct Communication Rules, Ghosting Sucks, Let’s All Say What We Mean
You may be wondering, do I really have to communicate directly about EVERYTHING? In short… yes! Well okay, in slightly longer: almost always yes.
You Need Help: Your Partner Won’t Give You Space
She’s isolating you from the things that make you a capable, confident, well-rounded person, and when you adhere to her rules, you’re enabling codependency.
#PolyamoryProblems: How to Deal With a Closeted Partner
Feeling made invisible by your own partner’s choices to not come out as both queer and polyamorous is tough. This edition of #PolyamoryProblems dives into how to deal with a partner who is living in a double closet.
You Need Help: My Partner’s Pandemic Practices Suck and I Want to Break Up
Transmitting a deadly virus doesn’t exactly say “I love you,” so it makes sense that this particular conflict is bringing up big questions about your relationship.
Into the A+ Advice Box #23: What If Your Partner Didn’t Tell You They Were Potentially Exposed to Covid?
Your partner doesn’t want to talk about raising your kids to be anti-racist, longing to reach out to a former friend, and more!
#PolyamoryProblems: The Way My Partner Engages With Her Other Partner Makes Me Uncomfortable, What Should I Do?
Boundaries are our manifestations of how we deserve to be treated and what we will accept from others.
5 Good Reasons to Just Fart in Front of Your Partner Already
Consider this your invitation to stop hiding, loosen your cheeks and let your sphincter siren sing for the one(s) you love.
#PolyamoryProblems: Opening Your Relationship 101
Welcome to the first installment of #PolyamoryProblems, a new advice column on Autostraddle. There are countless things I wish I had known before I started out, and lucky for you I’m here to tell you the things that will hopefully make your transition into polyamorous relationships much smoother.
You Need Help: My Partner and I Have Different Sex Drives
You can’t change your partner, or her sex drive. All you can change is the situation you’re in.
Is That a Secure Attachment or Are You Just Happy to See Me: All About Our Attachment Styles
“Wow I’m making myself sound so fucked up! I promise I got 30 whole percent in secure attachment.”