You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend
If your girlfriend wrote into this column with this story, I would tell her she should break up with you.
You Need Help: I Feel Like I’m My Girlfriend’s Second Choice
I want you to start 2023 feeling like your own number-one pick. That way, when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready and confident to be her number-one pick, too.
How I’m Rewriting the “Trophy Wife” Script As a Queer Trans Woman
I want to be treasured for my many wonderful qualities beneath the surface and held proudly by the person who chooses to date me.
You Need Help: I Want to Work on Myself, How Do I Do That?
I have behaviors I notice that spill into my relationship that stem from personal issues. I want to be a better person to myself, and my partner. I want to feel like my cup is full as I am, and then be able to use that to help fill our cup.
You Need Help: What To Do With This Meaningless, Single Life?
I want to try to hold space here for both: for your (and my, really) pain and for the possibility that you may not feel this way forever.
You Need Help: My Trauma is Activated When My Partner Masturbates to Porn
Your feelings are deeply understandable, even though your partner isn’t doing anything wrong. If you haven’t already, it’s time to seek trauma therapy.
My Chronic Yeast Infections Wouldn’t Go Away — Until I Left My Toxic Relationship
I wish my doctor had mentioned the relationship between stress and chronic yeast infections.
The 68 Absolutely Gayest Ways You Met Your Gay Partner(s), According to the 2022 Reader Survey
“We met in 1995. I was in grad school and had a job at the campus women’s center. I helped her hang an art show. We later hung out at a feminist science fiction convention. We’ve been together ever since.”
How Chloe Caldwell’s “Women” Shaped My Queer Heartbreak
I couldn’t acknowledge that this was unsustainable, that my life wasn’t the novella I had convinced myself it was.
I’m Not a Cat Lesbian but I Fell in Love With One
I never wanted to live with a cat. Of course, the universe had other plans.
You Need Help: Can I Go Through this Heartbreak Again?
In order to work through problems in a relationship, both parties must be present, willing, and able to do the work required. It’s a little like you’re sitting side by side in a rowboat, each holding one oar. When one person does all the rowing, you’re only going to go in circles.
You Need Help: Is ‘Lesbian Bed Death’ Really So Bad?
It’s easy to get the impression that everybody should be wanting to have lots of sex, all the time. But sex is not inherently superior to any other way you and your partner might spend time together. You and your partner are the only ones who get to decide how sex fits in to your life together, and which activities and intimacies are most meaningful to you both.
You Need Help: Should My Relationship Really Be This Hard?
Moving through your relationship as carefully as you currently are is going to be unsustainable in the long-term. Your partner is enacting a sustained pattern of behavior that needs to stop.
You Need Help: Am I Still Into Non-Monogamy or Not Really?
How do I navigate not knowing for sure whether monogamy or non-monogamy is for me? And how do I communicate that to my partner and my sexy friends?
You Need Help: My Girlfriend Has No Queer Friends, Is That a Problem?
This is very clearly your problem, not your girlfriend’s problem, and resolving it will be your work, not hers.
You Need Help: Trusting Yourself After Leaving an Abusive Relationship
The first thing I want to say is that I’m so sorry you had this experience with someone you loved, who you trusted. You deserve to be treated with respect and honor and grace. Remember that when you feel yourself doubting your heart and mind in the future.
How To Plan a Cozy, Sexy Holiday Date Night
Gifts don’t have to be physical objects. Setting up a sweet, sexy date-night-in for your partner or polycule can be an incredibly meaningful experience, as well as a beautiful way to show your care and affection.
You Need Help: What If My Mom Hates My Girlfriend?
Of course you’re being thoughtful about if, when and how you’ll introduce your girlfriend to your family — given your mom’s previous actions, there’s a chance she won’t grant you and your girlfriend the respect your relationship deserves.
You Need Help: I Don’t Want Kids But My Partner Might, Does This Mean We Can’t Get Married?
Our present selves can’t make promises for our future selves. Your partner is telling you what she knows about herself today. Is that enough?
So You Wanna Have Sex With Me And My 3 Medical Devices?
Being self-conscious was my entire personality back then, wondering who around me might find me unattractive and why. The port under my skin felt like an obvious answer.