60 Best Lesbian Movies on Tubi

Tubi is an upstart whippersnapper in the streaming space, rising in popularity for its free service that offers a massive library of films and television shows available to all of us in exchange for our willingness to watch a few commercials along the way. There are, by my count, at least 200 movies about lesbian, bisexual and queer women and/or trans people on Tubi, and the range of quality amongst those 200 is as vast as all the world’s oceans, from movies that were shot in an abandoned office park for $5 to actual real Hollywood cinema flicks. Here’s our guide to some of what’s best amongst queer and lesbian movies on Tubi.


Chutney Popcorn (1999)

Kayla called Chutney Popcorn “the South Asian Dyke Rom-Com I always wished Bend It Like Beckham had been.” Funny and dykey and warm and centering a compelling group of lesbian friends, Chutney Popcorn is a romance but it’s also about family— the one we’re born with and the ones we choose.

A Woman Like Eve (1979)
In this Dutch drama, a woman on holiday in France with her husband means a young feminist from a commune, falls in love, and leaves her husband —resulting in a child custody battle in her departure’s wake.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)
Jamie Babbitt’s dark comedy holds up year after year with its satirical take on conversion therapy, starring Natasha Lyonne, Melanie Lynskey, Clea Duvall and RuPaul.

The Truth About Jane (2000)
This TV movie is very much of its time, but features a winning performance by Stockard Channing as Janice, the struggling mother of a gay daughter in high school — and by RuPaul, who plays Jimmy, Janice’s friend who helps her process the news and inch towards acceptance.


Queer Documentaries

Southwest of Salem (2016)

The tragic story of four Latina lesbians wrongfully convicted of the sexual assault of two small children during the 80s and 90s witch-hunt Satanic Panic era — and their fight for freedom.

Read Yvonne Marquez’s review of Southwest of Salem

Before Stonewall (1984) & After Stonewall (1999)
These two films are a great introduction to queer history — told by the people who made it.

Chavela (2017)
The life of boundary-breaking lesbian ranchera singer Chavela Vargas — the first artist in Mexico to openly sing to another woman on stage, one of the first to wear pants pre-1950 — is given a loving tribute in this documentary.

Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement (2009)
This film tells the story of legendary lesbian couple Edie and Thea, from their childhoods to their first meeting in 1963 to Thea’s M.S. diagnosis and their eventual marriage in Toronto in 2007.

Regarding Susan Sontag (2014)
“While it would be easy to create a sterilized portrait of the accomplished intellectual, Kates refrains from doing so. No subject is too delicate: Sontag’s ego, contradictions, futile attempts at becoming a successful novelist, inability to play nice with other feminists, and infamous glass closet are all touched upon during Regarding‘s 90 minutes.” – Sarah Fonseca, “Regarding Susan Sontag”: A Style Guide for the Young, Queer, and Whipsmart

The Aggressives (2005)
This groundbreaking documentary, filmed in New York between 1997 and 2004, cast light on the thriving queer subculture of “Aggressives,” or “AGs,” QPOC who have adopted masculine behaviors and styles, built their own social spaces and are challenging traditional ideas of gender and sexuality.

Wish Me Away (2012)
When Chely Wright came out in 2010, it was a big f*cking deal —country music simply had no space for a lesbian, but she couldn’t keep swallowing her own self forever. Wish Me Away follows her through her childhood through her early success in Nashville and through the painful process of coming out publicly, and dealing with the repercussions.


Lesbian Romance

I Can’t Think Straight (2007)

Tala, the daughter of wealthy Christian Palestinians living in Jordan, is prepping to marry when she meets Leyla, an aspiring writer and British Indian Muslim woman who’s also in a relationship with a man — but the two women hit it off, and what ensues will shake up their lives and their families forever. Erin enjoyed this movie so much she wanted to send its writer/director an Edible Arrangement.

A New York Christmas Wedding (2019)
This wacky trip of a lesbian Christmas movie sees Jenny (Nia Fairweather), nervous about her engagement to her fiancé, David, when a guardian angel Azraael (Cooper Koch) shows up to give her a vision into the future she could’ve lived but did not — in which she ended up with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle (Adriana DeMeo). “Instead of some far-off Snow White Christmas Village, it’s an queer Afro-Latina looking for love in a very not whitewashed New York,” wrote Carmen in her review.

Gray Matters (2006) – Heather Graham is Gray, a quiet, family-oriented girl who has a very intense and co-dependent relationship with her brother — they live together, go to dance classes together, all of it. But that relationship is in trouble when Gray meets Sam, sets Sam up with her brother — and then falls for Sam herself. Hijinks!

Kiss Me/Kiss Myg (2011)
Mia meets Frida at an engagement party for Mia’s father and Frida’s mother and is immediately drawn to Frida, an out lesbian. But their attraction poses a pretty serious problem because Mia is also engaged to be married, to a man (his name is Tim of course).

love, spells and all that (2019)
Reyhan and Eren had a relationship as teenage girls in the small Turkish town where they grew up — Eren the daughter of a powerful politician and Reyhan of one of his workers — but that ended in scandal, and Eren left home for university in Paris. Now it’s 20 years later. Eren is back and wants to pick up where they left off, but Reyhan “can’t simply erase two decades and run away to live a lifestyle of abundance and lesbianism.” Also, she’s wondering if Eren’s only still interested at all because of the eternal love spell Reyhan put on her all those years ago.

Princess Cyd (2017)
Heartwarming and sincere, Princess Cyd is the story of a life-changing summer in which our titular character lives with her estranged writer aunt, falls for a neighborhood boy and also her local barista, Katie. Heather writes: “Princess Cyd is quiet almost to the point of stillness and deeply generous.”

Rafiki (2018)
This “beautiful, colorful celebration of Black queer love” sees two young women in Kenya, Kena and Ziki, falling in love in a country where homosexuality is illegal and so many of their friends and family members aren’t supportive of their relationship. Filmmaker Wanuri Kahiu creates art in a style she calls “Afrobubblegum, presenting a ‘fun, fierce and fantastical representation of Africa.”

Signature Move (2017)
Fawzia Mirza’s “late-in-life coming-of-age lucha libre romance” is about a thirtysomethign Pakistani Muslim lesbian in Chicago who’s taking care of with her mother and training to be a wrestler when she meets and falls for a woman who challenges her to embrace her true self..

The Summer of Sangaile (2015)
“Alanté Kavaïté’s coming-of-age queer love story is less about the spectacle of the thing and more about the emotional nuance. It’s dark in places but as light as first love’s wings in others… Summer of Sangaile will compel you to smile really big and shed three knowing, bittersweet tears.”Heather Hogan


Indie Queer Movies

the miseducation of cameron post

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

Desiree Akhvan’s adaptation of emily m. danforth’s stunning coming-of-age novel follows teenage Cameron Post (Chloë Grace Moretz) in the early nineties who’s sent to conversion camp after her boyfriend catches her having sex with her secret girlfriend Coley Taylor, in the backseat of Coley’s car. There she meets Jane Fonda (Sasha Lane), who was raised in a hippie commune, and begins to discover who she really is and who she wants to be.

“This is a quiet movie, Akhavan trusting Ashley Connor’s cinematography, Julian Wass’ score, and her actors’ faces to tell the story. Akhavan never lets the seriousness of the subject matter overwhelm the moments of humor and joy — the suggestion that our best hope for holding onto ourselves is to find community.” – Drew Gregory

A Date For Mad Mary (2016)
After a brief stay in prison, Mad Mary returns to her hometown, where she must push back against her reputation to get a date to her best friend’s wedding. “The film balances its subject matter and its tones due to sharp writing and Kerslake’s truly remarkable performance,” writes Drew. “This is really a gem of a film.”

Adam (2019)
Based on Ariel Schrag’s graphic novel, Adam is the story of an awkward teenage boy who spends his last high school summer in New York with his sister and the queer and trans community she’s surrounded herself with. When those gay friends assume Adam himself is trans, he doesn’t correct them. It’s a self-conscious, humorous snapshot of young queer life in the late ’00s.

BFFs (2014)
Two straight best friends pretend to be a couple to enable them to attend a relationship retreat one of them bought with a now-ex boyfriend. But once there, the lines between friendship and romance blur in a film that’s a funny and lighthearted look at the silly complexities of female friendship.

Boy Meets Girl (2014)
One of the first films to show a trans woman played by a trans actress dating another woman, “Boy Meets Girl” is a lighthearted romance about Ricky, a 21-year-old bisexual Virginia trans woman dreaming of a design career in New York, who makes two surprising connections in one unforgettable summer.

Goldfish Memory (2003)
“Like Love, Actually, but Irish, gay, and riddled with commitment issues this ensemble romantic comedy follows the lives and intersecting relationships of several delightfully messy people. Equally split between gay, lesbian, and straight romances, some storylines work better than others, but all of the actors are charming and the film is smarter about love than most of these kinds of romcoms.”Drew Gregory

Portrait of a Serial Monogamist (2015)
After a formative heartbreak, 40-year-old lesbian Elise has bounced from one serious relationship to another with a perfected exit strategy — but after her most recent breakup, she’s lost her will to continue the cycle, and she’s got lots of queer friends and an overbearing Jewish family eager to weigh in on her problems and choices! Heather writes in her review of Portrait of a Serial Monogamist that it is “incisive and very, very funny.”

Red Doors (2005)
Ed, the father of three daughters in a Chinese-American family living in the New York suburbs, is revisiting his whole family history through VHS tapes — including the story of Julie, the shy middle child who’s life is shaken up when she falls for actress Mia Scarlett.


Hahahahaha Comedies

appropriate behavior movie poster

Appropriate Behavior (2014)

Desiree Akhavan’s debut film, described at the time by Kaelyn as “the movie everyone in the queer lady-loving community and indie film universe is buzzing about.,” is still a gem. It tells the story of a bisexual Brooklynite reeling from a breakup with her girlfriend (Rebecca Henderson) and battling the expectations of her traditional Persian family.


Camp Takota (2014)
This light-hearted comedy with a subtle queer edge stars Grace Helbig as an author with her life in shambles who reuintes with two estranged pals — including lesbian camp counselor played by Hannah Hart — to save the summer camp where they all met.

The Feels (2018)
Andi (Constance Wu) and Lu (Angela Trimbur) corral their friends into California Wine County for a pre-wedding bachelorette party, where Lu makes the drunk confession that she’e never had an orgasm —much to Andi’s surprise, who thought they were having the best sex of their lives. Everybody pitches in to solve this problem, but they’ve got a lot of their own emotional hijinks to tend to along the way. Heather writes: “it’s authentic and it’s tender and while the climax is a little bit rushed — eh hem — it’s a gay happy ending. And that, itself, is still revolutionary.

Life Partners (2014)
Leighton Meester is Sasha, a lesbian who’s entrenched in a deeply co-dependent best friendship with Paige, who is straight — a friendship that’s tested when Paige meets a man (Adam Brody) she actually likes and Sasha hates sharing. B Nichols called Life Partners “a film in which everything that could go usually wrong in a lesbian film inexplicably doesn’t!” Beth Dover and Gabourey Sidibe are delightful as Sasha’s queer friends.

Women Who Kill (2017)
This dry, dark comedy follows exes Morgan (Ingrid Jungermann) and Jean (Ann Carr), locally famous true-crime podcasters in Park Slope who interview female serial killers — but Morgan can’t seem to shut off her suspicion of darkness lurking beneath everything when she starts dating Simone, a mysterious girl she meets at the Park Slope Food Co-Op.

Thrills and Chills

Good Manners (2017)

“Good Manners…is exploring something uniquely queer. Part of the reason it’s such an overwhelming and complex film is because its queerness forces it to embody both the body horror of pregnancy and the fear of parental failure, while also including the distrust of adoption found in something like The Omen and the rejection of an other found in works like Frankenstein and Freaks.”

— Drew Burnett Gregory, via Monsters & Mommis: “Good Manners” Is a Tribute to Queer Motherhood

Bit (2019)
Laurel (Nicole Maines) is just a regular 18-year-old trans girl with protective parents before she gets vampired while spending the summer with her brother in LA, where she has a perfect gay meet-cute with Izzy who of course digs in and turn Laurel into a vampire. “Brad Michael Elmore’sBitisn’t a landmark film about the trans experience,” wrote Drew in her review of Bit. “But God is it fun. And it’s not without meaning.”

Clementine (2019)
This drama about “longing, youth, and slippery notions of truth and lies”. Karen, reeling from her breakup with an older woman, breaks into her ex’s lake house where she meets Lana (Sydney Sweeney), a captivating presence with whom things get very complicated, very quickly.

Jack & Diane (2012)
Charming and naive Diane (Juno Temple) meets tough-skinned Jack (Riley Keough) in New York City. They hook up all night and must grapple with their growing relationship under challenging circumstances — Diane’s moving at the end of the summer, but her feelings for Jack are manifesting themselves in terrifying ways, creating violent changes in her physical body.

Knife + Heart (2018)
While the murders and raunchy smut are the flashier elements of the film that make it easy to pitch to an audience, the core of the story is a sincere meditation on desire. While stopping the killer and uncovering the mystery behind his motives moves the narrative forward, they are peripheral to the actual substance of the film which, in line with filmmaker Yann Gonzalez’s trademark style, weaves romantic queer poems out of queer eroticism and obscenity.” – Chingy Nea via “Knife + Heart” and the Thin Line Between Desire and Destruction

Lyle (2014)
Leah (Gaby Hoffman) and June (Ingrid Jungermann) are mothers grieving the loss of their toddler while planning for a new baby in a psychological thriller Kristin Russo described as “each moment punching your eyeballs in with the sheer force of its beauty.”

The Carmilla Movie (2017)
Beloved actor Elise Bauman co-stars in this film inspired by the web-series of the same name which was adapted from the 1872 graphic novel Carmilla. Five years after vanquishing the apocalypse, Laura (Bauman) and Carmilla (Natasha Negovanlis) and their pals face a new supernatural threat tied to Carmilla’s past. Valerie, a fan of the web series, declared the film “everything we want it to be (and so much more).”

The Retreat (2021)
“The monsters in the film are not mythical — they’re militant homophobic serial killers targeting queer people. And the majority of the film with all its bloody torture and revenge is really well-done. It finds the perfect balance between being properly brutal and satisfyingly cathartic. The film follows some pretty standard beats but it does them well and it’s exciting to get this kind of horror movie with queers at its center.” – Drew Gregory, “The Retreat” Is a New Kind of Lesbian Horror, Full of Catharsis and Dykey Swagger

Wynonna Earp: Vengeance (2024)
In this film based on the original television series, Wynonna Earp returns home “to battle her greatest foe yet: a psychotic seductress hellbent on revenge against her… and everyone she loves.” “We’re so pleased about how seamlessly Vengeance fit into the series,” wrote Nic and Valerie. “Even though it was technically a different format, it really did just feel like a long episode of Earp, like no time had passed at all, and we love to see it.”


Queer Arthouse Movies

House of Hummingbird (2018)

This award-winning South Korean drama, set in 1994, captures the acute misery of being 14 years old, a time when everything seems like the end of the world. Eun-hee is a working class girl with a secret boyfriend, an abusive brother, a Chinese teacher she’s obsessed and a best friend, Yu-ri—a schoolgirl who’s nursing a huge crush on Eun-hee. Drew writes that “this is a movie for all the queers who ate lunch in a teacher’s room and this is a movie for all the queers who wondered if a future was possible and then, one day, stopped wondering and started to believe.”

Daddy Issues (2019)
“A love story between a 19-year-old artist, her Instagram crush, and her Instagram crush’s sugar daddy, Cash’s debut feature is equally sweet and taboo. The artist, Maya (Madison Lawlor), is estranged from her father and stuck at home with her cruel mother and inappropriate stepdad. She dreams of going to art school in Florence but doesn’t have the money. Instead she settles for texting her Florence-based friend about her all-consuming crush on fashion designer/influencer Jasmine Jones (Montana Manning). Fed up and filled with an angsty joie de vivre, Maya follows an insta-tag to a bar and manages to infiltrate Jasmine’s crew. Chaos ensues. Romance ensues.” – Drew, “Daddy Issues” Is a Very Queer Very Good Movie

Petit Mal (2022)
“Petit Mal is about a throuple figuring out how to begin again. It’s not that the film shies away from the specific joys and challenges of a throuple — it’s just done in a way that doesn’t attach value or judgment.” -Drew, “Petit Mal” is a Lesbian Throuple’s Real Life Friction

Salmonberries (1991)
k.d. lang stars as an orphaned Eskimo who passes as male to work at a mine in Alaska. She has a relationship with Roswitha (Rosel Zech), an exiled widowed East German librarian. “It’s a slow and odd film about identity and the past that doesn’t totally work but is endlessly fascinating,” wrote Drew.


Dyke Drama

Professor Marston & The Wonder Women (2017)

This biopic about the creator of Wonder Woman is also, Drew writes, “a story about polyamory, about BDSM, about three individuals fighting to define their own lives and loves. There is power in completely disavowing mainstream forms and there is a different kind of power in mastering them and subverting them from within. Luke Evans and Bella Heathcoate are great as William Marston and the Marstons’ new partner, but Rebecca Hall as Elizabeth Marston truly astounds. The movie doesn’t ignore the complications of their relationship — the external and the internal — but instead allows the relationship and these characters an understanding they were never granted. There’s a reason Wonder Woman is such a popular character: these lives aren’t so rare after all — only on our screens.”

Lizzie (2018)
Inspired by the infamous 1892 murders of the Borden family —for which their daughter Lizzie was the primary suspect —this film sees Kristen Stewart as the new Irish maid who strikes up a relationship with Lizzie as her relationship with her parents begins to fall apart. “Lizzieis brutal, historically attuned, and committed to exploring effeminate trauma and retaliation,” wrote Fonseca in her review.

My Days of Mercy (2017)
Elliot Page is Lucy and Kate Mara is Mercy in this film that mixes politics with passion. Lucy and her sister are anti-death-penalty protestors fighting to get their father, Simon, off death row. At a protest in Illinois, Lucy meerts Mercy, the daughter of a cop with dies to the death penalty case being protested. Despite their potential political tensions, a romance begins to grow.

Take Me For a Ride (2016)
“A simple coming-of-age movie about queer teen love in Ecuador, Take Me For a Ride works because of the precise cinematography and the chemistry between lead actors Samanta Caicedo and Maria Juliana Rangel. The drama remains low-key and the film feels like a personal snapshot.” Drew

The Secrets / Ha Sadot (2007)
This “complicated film about faith and love and commitment to principles all in the face of patriarchy” is the story of two young women studying at Jewish seminary — studious and conservative Noemi and rebellious Michelle. They discover their queerness through their feelings for each other, while both are pushed towards marrying men.

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3291 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. heads up that tubi is owned by fox news corp as of 2020 so the ad revenue it generates goes to fox & its shareholders

    • Yeah, and? If I lived my life in boycotts and cancels, I’d be sleeping naked on the grass foraging for berries and killing wildlife with a rock I sharpened into a point that I tied onto a stick with vines.

  2. I know Tubi has their “leaving soon” list but does anyone know if that’s a way to find the exact date something leaves, like there is on Netflix and other services?

  3. Flashbacks to living in 2007 and desperately waiting for all of these moderately depressing movies to slowly buffer 27 seconds at a time.

    A lot of terrible-okay movies that have been lost to time (sometimes even AS!)

Comments are closed.

Baby Steps #5: Fixing the Window

Welcome to the fifth edition of Baby Steps, a column about every single thought and feeling I am having about this kid we are having in LESS THAN A MONTH

The “wind event,” as it had been labeled thus far, was in its early hours two Tuesdays ago as I was writing the last edition of this column. Our group chats had already lit up with panic as fires sparked in the hills. The wind was blowing with anguished fervor. Los Angeles is an enormous swath of land, famously larger than the entirety of Rhode Island and Delaware combined, and Gretchen and I live relatively close to its middle. Prior to moving in together last April, both of us lived in parts of town that would eventually fall under evacuation orders that week, but where we live now is r...

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3291 articles for us.

Rediscovering the Once Lost Japanese Genderqueer Road Movie ‘Bye Bye Love’ 50 Years Later

It’s fitting that Fujisawa Isao’s film Bye Bye Love was long believed to be lost. This liminal, lyrical, genderqueer road movie, rediscovered in a warehouse in 2018, is a tart and singular blend of the filmmaker’s experiences working on both gritty yakuza films and as a member of the cohort loosely labeled the Japanese New Wave, or “Nuberu Bagu” (a transliteration of the French’s “nouvelle vague”). Released in 1974 and played, according to its producer, largely as an independent roadshow attraction, the film reflects the sentiments of the by-then faded counterculture of the 1960s in both style and substance through an emphasis on non-being, artifice, and selfhood. Echoing the dead-end structure of New Hollywood road films like Easy Rider and Bonnie and Clyde, Isao’s tale of doomed drifters on the run reframes the nihilistic “meaninglessness” embodied by the highly symbolic deaths of these previous cinematic outlaws into a tragic-yet-triumphant kind of postmodern self-fabulation.

Bye Bye Love is a film all about the ways identity is constructed, defined, and imposed. After being dumped by his girlfriend over the phone, a young man named Utamaru (Ren Tamura) is sucked into the tempestuous orbit of a beautiful stranger (Miyabi Ichijô), who entreats him for help in avoiding a “pervert.” The pervert, it turns out, is a policeman; the stranger, whose luminous eyes and long, lustrous hair immediately captivate Utamaru, is a shoplifter who just made off with a Jim Morrison record. After Utamaru blithely dispatches the policeman, Utamaru finds the stranger again, beginning a whirlwind courtship.

The identity of this wanderer, who Utamaru names Giko, is the fulcrum of the film. After an extended flirtation during which the pair discuss the relative nature of perception (“colors don’t lie, white is white and blue is blue, but is white still white when it’s mixed with blue?”) while surrounded by images of heavily made up Western fashion models and an American flag, the two deface the iconography and go to bed together. To Utamaru’s surprise, though, Giko isn’t a cis woman. The two stop short of having sex upon this (implied) discovery but stay in bed anyway. Neither seems particularly fazed. Moments later, when Giko’s American lover (the cheekily named “Nixon”) finds them together and Utamaru shoots him to death in self-defense, the two go on the run from the law, flitting through a country defined by abandoned experimental art pieces and brutalist architecture.

“You’re artificial?” Utamaru eventually asks Giko as they pass by billboards of white models in bright makeup. “This whole city is artificial,” Giko replies, “there’s no difference between me and a high heel.” In this one line, Giko, who uses both masculine and feminine pronouns throughout the film, neatly articulates the film’s post-humanist reading of gender performativity under capitalism as a pure, commodified construction –– a full sixteen years before Judith Butler published Gender Trouble. 

This emphasis on artificiality is quickly and poignantly universalized when Utamaru picks up a cis woman by a deserted swimming pool. In a visually arresting sequence that evokes the famous opening scene of Hiroshima, Mon Amour, this nameless woman’s body is abstracted through beautiful but alienating extreme closeups and odd, harsh angles. “She’s like an actress” Utamaru intones in voiceover, “her life is all appearances. If there is any real emotion it comes from mimicry… learned in childhood.”

In this context, then, Utamaru too acknowledges that femininity is a construction at its core, something to be produced like “an automobile engine.” It isn’t Giko’s femininity per se that discomforts him, we realize then, but their comfort with their own gender fluidity. “It’s like a love triangle,” they say laughing to Utamaru at one point later in the film, “you, and the male and female me.” If Utamaru’s story alone is a familiar yet playfully told outlaw tale (as Ren Scateni points out, the film stands alone in the Japanese New Wave for its humorous approach to this story of nihilistic youth), a postmodern riff on The Wild One, Giko’s story is something else entirely, a pop art (p)retelling of Agnes Varda’s Vagabond that also presages riotous stories of genderqueer self-discovery like Hedwig and the Angry Inch or even Titane.

Like Bonnie and Clyde before them, then, Giko and Utamaru aren’t exactly lovers. Rather, they’re bound together through attraction that transcends the purely physical. They practically exude mutual need (they are on the run after all) and develop a shared philosophy defined by opposition and loose, tranquil nihilism. Like Giko’s refusal to give Utamatu their real name, Utamaru insists repeatedly “I’m nobody,” expressing a similar lack of interest in meaning-making. The pair’s conversations all hinge on this kind of ambiguity and play: They speak in deflected questions, never satisfying each other with tangible answers. “If I were a windshield––” he says, “I’d be a blizzard” they reply. “If I were water––” “I’d be fire.”

Still, part of what makes Bye Bye Love an exciting piece of queer film history to be rediscovered is that, with almost no antecedents in Japanese cinema, the pair’s undeniable sexual attraction is also explored on screen. In a showstopping extended sequence, this tension is (literally) electrically expressed when they hire a sex worker and consummate the ménage à trois while wrapped in live wires from a radio, their embraces making an alien symphony of zapping, buzzing sounds that set them all shuddering with the charge.

This playful rejection of traditional sexual and gender roles parallels and reframes the broader outlaw narrative, whose conventions are in some ways rather typical of the subgenre from which Isao emerged (the film’s original title was Yakuza Boys). Ultimately, Giko triumphantly insists, “I’m not a man or a woman. I’m nobody.” It’s this final assertion that, like their refusal to literally name themself at the beginning of the story, disrupts Utamaru’s free-flowing hippie sense of looseness as a form of social rejection. Giko’s self-fabulation repolarizes his nihilism into something active, generative, and even transformative that evokes the more optimistic notes hidden in the countercultural desire to “tune in, turn on, and drop out.” In this sense, Giko’s repetition of Utamaru’s signature line triumphantly recalls the closing title card of Bye Bye Love’s most direct Japanese antecedent, Toshio Matsumoto’s incredible 1969 queer experimental drama Funeral Parade of Roses: “The spirit of an individual reaches its own absolute through incessant negation.”


Bye Bye Love is screening Thursday January 23 at Metrograph in New York City

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Payton McCarty-Simas

Payton McCarty-Simas is an author and film critic based in New York City. Their academic and critical writing focuses primarily on horror, sexuality, and psychedelia. Payton's work has been featured in Bright Lights Film Journal, Film Daze, and The Brooklyn Rail among others. Their first book, One Step Short of Crazy: National Treasure and the Landscape of American Conspiracy Culture, was released in November 2024.

Payton has written 3 articles for us.

This New ‘Yellowjackets’ Season 3 Trailer Has Me Screaming at the Top of My Lungs

An all-new trailer for Yellowjackets season three came out today and features even more squelchy, stabby, screamy moments than the first look from last month. We’re only 23 days away from the return of the best show on television, but who’s counting (me, I’m counting, and I’ve had a very bad 2025 so far, so I’m hinging my mental health on the return of this series, which is about as emotionally healthy as any of the choices made by the adult Yellowjackets last season).

This new trailer has everything: a fantastic needledrop in the form of “Bodies” by Drowning Pool (which, as my wife points out, came out in 2001 so isn’t exactly period-accurate but is so fitting tonally that we’ll let it slide); so many knives, including a moment where Adult Misty seemingly STABS ADULT SHAUNA IN THE BACK; Tai/Van meaningful glances as well as a make out; teen girls howling in the woods; lots of blood! The trailer also makes it seem like the group —under Teen Shauna’s leadership —decides to give Natalie to the wilderness as punishment. A lot of the language in the promo of this season suggests we’re going to get a lot more hunts, action, and cannibalism. Every season has been intense and violent, but season three really seems like it’s going to be one big guttural scream. And I think we could all use that energy right now.

“Think about how screw up we would be if we had survived a plane crash only to end up eating each other,” Misty says to Callie in the trailer.

“Oh, I do,” Callie replies.

Just watch the full thing:

So, talk to me, what are your theories heading into season three? Who is Hillary Swank playing! We see a little more of her in this trailer vs. the first, but not much more! At one point, she’s seemingly being strangled by an unseen assailant and says “you really are insane.”

Yellowjackets Season 3 Drops First Look

“The past will come back to HUNT you,” warns the first full-length trailer for Yellowjackets season three. As is the tradition for Yellowjackets trailers —and my preference, honestly —not a ton of information is given out. It’s more about setting the tone, the atmosphere. And let me tell ya: I got chills the first time I watched this one.

It features our first glimpse of Hilary Swank, who has been added to the cast for season three (see more cast updates below). At the end of the trailer, she’s seen bloody on the side of the road, afraid of something we can’t see. Elijah Wood also appears for a brief second. But my favorite appearance in the trailer is Jackie’s! I love Shauna’s hallucinations of her dead best friend and a literal haunting, so I’m happy to see it looks like Ella Purnell will be getting some ghost performance action in season three.

As far as gay glimpses go, Adult Tai and Adult Van are seen making out at one point, but it’s sharply interrupted by Tai seeing the man with no eyes, so it’s not sexy so much as terrifying. Teen Tai warns the others in the woods that this place will follow them for the rest of their lives, which yes, does seem to be true!

I can’t wait to see my girls hunt each other for sport for another season!

When Will Yellowjackets Season 3 Come Out?

Yellowjackets season three officially has a premiere date: February 14, 2025. That’s right! Valentine’s Day! The most romantic day of the year will be the official return of the most romantic show on television (“just” “kidding”)! Season three, which was delayed due to the Hollywood strikes, will first debut on Paramount+ with Showtime on February 14, 2025 with the first two episodes (!!). Then, on February 16, both episodes will air on Showtime.

I am choosing to believe this premiere date was selected for me personally, as my dating anniversary with my wife is February 14. Three years ago in early November, my wife and I stayed up until 4 a.m. watching theYellowjackets press screeners I’d been sent because we literally could not stop, compelled by the Antler Queen herself perhaps to gobble the show up like Shauna snacking on her dead best friend’s ear. So, yes,Yellowjacketsis an important part of our relationship lore, the first time we’d ever become obsessed with a television show in tandem with each other. All of which is to say: I couldn’t think of a more perfect premiere date for season three. Without knowing we were both doing the same bit, we both sent each other the news of the premiere date with “happy anniversary”:

The premiere date was announced by a teaser that doesn’t provide a lot of concrete details, so we’ll have to keep waiting for a real trailer, but this is a show where I’m content to know very little heading in! Season three is set to have 10 episodes and picks up soon after the events of season two.

Here’s everything we know about Yellowjackets season three so far!

Who Is in the Cast for Yellowjackets Season 3?

We can expect to see most of the major players in season three: Melanie Lynskey, Tawny Cypress, Ella Purnell, Sophie Nélisse, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Sophie Thatcher, Samantha Hanratty, Steven Krueger, Warren Kole, Christina Ricci, Courtney Eaton, Liv Hewson, Kevin Alves, Simone Kessell, Elijah Wood, and Lauren Ambrose. Juliette Lewis presumably won’t be back as Nat, since she, you know, died in the (divisive) season two finale. That said, I did notice her name included in the cast credits under the season three teaser, but for all I know, that caption could have just been copy and pasted over from past videos (or written by AI just like a lot of these Everything We Know posts are at other outlets 🙃) so I’m choosing not to read too much into it! Ghost Nat moments would be cool though! I’m always pro ghost.

Joel McHale is set to join the cast, along with Hilary Swank, though there aren’t any details about the characters either will be playing. Swank will undoubtedly be a major player though, as Deadline reports there could be an “option for her to become a series regular should the hit series get a fourth season.” Intrigued!

Wait, Wasn’t There Something About a Bonus Episode?

Great question! There sure was! Co-creator Ashley Lyle tweeted back in summer 2023 to confirm the existence of a bonus episode (season two was only nine episodes long) to bridge the gap between seasons two and three, teasing it would come out closer to season three’s premiere, but those plans have since been nixed and the content of the bonus episode has been folded into season three.

Other GayYellowjackets Season 3 Updates

Keep checking back for more updates as February nears!


We’re counting down the days until Yellowjackets season three comes out on February 14, 2025, and in the meantime, you can revisit or catch up on all of Autostraddle’s episodic recaps from seasons one and two! Let me know in the comments what some of your predictions for season three are!

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 960 articles for us.

14 Comments

      • i found a whole reddit speculating who she could be. a lot of people saying cop/fbi and i’m hoping that’s not the case ugh. maybe part of rescue crew? someone else is speculating she could be playing a hiker who goes missing in the wilderness in 1997 who runs into them lol but that seems like a stretch. someone said the pic of the character that showtime posted looks like an author pic from the flap of a book LOL so maybe a survivor who wrote about the experience but I think in that case we would have already heard about her from the others

  1. who said romance is dead. my wife and i will be sat and ready for a romantic evening. no babysitter required!

  2. There won’t be a bonus episode before season three. The showrunners have said something to the effect of it being folded into season three.

  3. Hillary Swank saying, “You really are insane,” makes more hopeful than ever that she’s not playing Melissa. Melissa would already know that they’re insane.

Comments are closed.

No Filter: Keke Palmer Is Simply the Funniest Woman Alive

feature image photo via One of Them Days Instagram

Hello and welcome back to No Filter! This is where I gather the best and brightest content from celesbian Instagram and throw it into this here column for your reading pleasure!


Well shit Laurie me too! This is, as they say, the dream!


Tommy with the SERVE and energy we need to be bringing to daily life.


I was thinking thoughts…and then….I stopped for some reason. That body, prob??


Super strange that no one has invited me to host a cookout at the Ritz Carlton Cayman Islands? Can someone get on that, please?


I would never ski (Natasha Richardson) but I am into how chic everything surrounding the actual act of skiing is?


I will watch this every day of my life until I die!!! Keke is simply the funniest woman alive! Her timing! The pause! The face! The finger! KEKE FOREVER AND EVER AMEN!


Thrilled that High Potential is coming back for season two because it means MORE Javicia on my tv for ME!


Go off climate queen! Love to see the celebs putting their voices toward this deeply pressing issue!


I know Niecy is asking for grace and kindness here but I am…not so much listening, if you catch my drift? I am no better than a man.


SIGH. I feel I have been QUITE real w/r/t celebrities having podcasts!!! We are full up! We need no more! Alas, I will have to storm the I Heart Radio offices!

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Christina Tucker

Christina Tucker is writer and podcaster living in Philadelphia. Find her on Twitter or Instagram!

Christina has written 317 articles for us.

What Will Trump’s Anti-Trans “Gender Ideology Extremism” Executive Orders Actually Do?

One thing about our somehow once-again President Donald J Trump is that the man loves to sit at a desk like a feudal lord, surrounded by his (usually standing) Dear Supporters, and sign a piece of paper with a pen while having his picture taken. On inauguration day, he did so with even more theatrics than usual, signing over 100 executive orders, many of them signed on a small table placed atop a red carpet in an arena crowded with his fans. He signed Executive Orders for hours and hours and hours, like a performance art piece, throwing Sharpies into the audience to provide them with lasting souvenirs from this Monumental Day. Eventually he relocated from the arena to the Oval Office to sign even more orders. And as both leaked and predicted, some of those orders came directly for the LGBTQ+ community generally and trans people specifically.

Trans Human rights lawyer Chase Strangio posted on his instagram Sunday, in advance of these orders, a warning — “The administration will issue some executive orders that do not and cannot change the law. They will be glorified press releases designed to create confusion and chaos… the media will exacerbate the chaos with inaccurate headlines designed to stoke fear and gain clicks, rather than provide information and context. All while diminishing the power and presence of organized resistance.”

This is an important thing to remember and hold close as we grapple with the potential outcomes for our community from Trump’s Executive Orders.

What Are Executive Orders?

Executive Orders are not laws. They are “written instruments through which a President can issue directives to shape policy.” They instruct federal agencies within the executive branch on how to interpret existing law, but they can’t give the president authority he doesn’t already possess. They are temporary — they can be reversed by the next president. Those that exceed presidential authority can face legal challenges — and likely will, from orgs like the ACLU. Only Congress can pass laws that create lasting change.

For example, he cannot simply end birthright citizenship by signing an executive order. The 14th Amendment guarantees citizenship for those born in the United States. That EO is already facing legal challenges.

Other important limitations of Executive Orders: They cannot change state law. They cannot amend any existing federal statutes, such as the Violence Against Women Act, which as of 2022 includes provisions to bolster access for survivors of all genders and created a LGBTQ services program. They have no jurisdiction over private entities, such as private schools, private sports leagues and camps.

What Will Trump’s Anti-Trans Executive Orders Actually Do?

Firstly, Trump cruelly revoked 150 Biden-era Executive Orders, including a handful related to apparently distressing causes like preventing discrimination on the basis of Gender Identity or Sexual Orientation and guaranteeing an educational environment free from anti-LGBTQ discrimination. Trump announced the disbandment of the Gender Policy Council again — a group established by Obama, removed by Trump in his first term, re-established by Biden and now, once again axed by Trump.

Trump repealed a Biden-era Executive Order that allowed transgender troops to serve in the military. This does not mean trans troops are effectively banned from the military starting now. However, his EO clears the way for that to happen. Once the ban is in place, it will engender “one of the largest layoffs of transgender people in history.” It could face legal challenges, but as per the 19th: “Without the federal protections granted under Biden, the legal precedent over the ban implemented in Trump’s first term remains: The Supreme Court in 2019 allowed him to enforce the ban after four separate courts had blocked it from taking effect.”

The centerpiece of his anti-trans agenda, Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government Act, is a remarkable and frightening piece of writing. Trump has decided to frame his anti-trans goals as a Women’s Rights initiative, protecting women from having “biological men” in their bathrooms and on their sports teams, which it seems he hopes will obscure his administration’s actual lack of support for Women in all other areas of life, including reproductive rights.

The EO sets out to “establish male and female as biological reality and protect women from radical gender ideology” and codify the existence of just two “sexes.” The definition of sex/gender in the Executive Order is itself problematic and scientifically questionable, as it ignores intersex people and also is based on the human production of a “reproductive cell” (e.g, egg, sperm), despite the fact that not even every cis person produces such cells.

He defines “Gender Identity” like so:

“Gender identity” reflects a fully internal and subjective sense of self, disconnected from biological reality and sex and existing on an infinite continuum, that does not provide a meaningful basis for identification and cannot be recognized as a replacement for sex.

And “Gender Ideology” like this:

“Gender ideology” replaces the biological category of sex with an ever-shifting concept of self-assessed gender identity, permitting the false claim that males can identify as and thus become women and vice versa, and requiring all institutions of society to regard this false claim as true. Gender ideology includes the idea that there is a vast spectrum of genders that are disconnected from one’s sex. Gender ideology is internally inconsistent, in that it diminishes sex as an identifiable or useful category but nevertheless maintains that it is possible for a person to be born in the wrong sexed body.

The EO directs federal agencies to change language and enforce laws in accordance with these definitions, asking all agencies to remove “all statements, policies, regulations, forms, communications, or other internal and external messages that promote or otherwise inculcate gender ideology.”

Sec. 3 includes a directive to ensure that government-issued identification documents refer to the holder’s “sex,” as defined by the EO. Since 2022, non-binary people have been able to use an “X” gender marker on their passports, and this EO indicates Trump’s intention to remove that marker going forward, and also to seemingly require trans women and trans men to identify on their passports in accordance with their gender assigned at birth. Trump’s administration will face challenges here, too, due to already established rulings, laws and precedents. The White House Press Secretary has confirmed that the order will not be retroactive and thus will not rescind valid passports. But this would impact what gender could be used for passport renewals.

Sec. 4 asks the AG and Homeland Security Secretary to ensure “males are not detained in women’s prisons or housed in women’s detention centers.” How this will pan out is also, believe it or not, unclear! It’s worth noting that The Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA), which gives trans people who feel their safety is threatened a voice in determining where they are housed, holds more power than this EO, because it was passed unanimously by Congress in 2009. He called for an amendment to be made to that act, but only Congress can do that.

Trump’s directive to agencies to not consider transgender people when enforcing sex discrimination laws is also scary to consider. This is an area of law that has been hotly debated for many many years now. However, it does not leave trans people entirely unprotected, as many federal judges have found discrimination against trans people to be a form of sex discrimination. Trump’s directive is in direct conflict with “much of the opinion” of the Supreme Court’s binding precedent established in Bostock v Clayton County, which held that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity constitutes illegal sex discrimination. Trump is asking his AG to defy this precedent, which he describes as a “misapplication” of the decision.

Trump has also directed the Attorney General to issue guidance that would ensure freedom of expression around “the binary nature of sex and the right to single-sex spaces in workplaces and federally funded entities.” This would give people the right to refuse to use somebody’s correct pronouns and relegate trans people to using bathrooms based on their sex assigned at birth in federally funded spaces and any workplace covered by the Civl Rights Act of 1964. So, for example, in Trump’s imaginary ideal world, a public school teacher would be able to file suit against a school that fired him for refusing to use a student’s stated pronouns. But, according to the HRC, the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) is the primary agency that enforces these rules and it is a quasi-independent agnec that is not legally required to follow directives issued by the President via Executive Order. Also, there is legal precedent in place surrounding respectful use of pronouns and bathroom access at work which would be in conflict with this directive.

What Do We Do Now?

The California Legislative LGBTQ Caucus sent a release to its followers imploring them “to remember that the impacts from these orders are neither immediate nor permanent. It will take time for these orders to work through their respective federal agencies and there will be opportunities for California to weigh in on behalf of Transgender, Gender Nonconforming, and Intersex (TGI) people. When those opportunities arise we will be ready.”

Regardless of their ultimate impact — which could very well be devastating —these Executive Orders have already made Trump’s supporters feel like he is Doing Stuff and Making Changes at an Unprecedented Rate due to his Immense Power and Popularity. This “shock-and-awe” approach to Executive Orders will tie up the courts for years to come, wasting endless piles of tax dollars, and at the very least, they set a certain tone. Biden’s Executive Orders that directed federal agencies to expand rights and protections for LGBTQ+ people still gave us hope, and Trump’s withdrawal from those initiatives does, accordingly, rip a lot of that hope out of our hands. While not all of the directives in these Executive Orders will come to fruition, many of them will in some form, and we will have to keep fighting and figure out how to rely on each other and support each other under these trying circumstances.

Speaking of supporting each other, Trump’s effective takeover of most major social media platforms is especially alarming considering how they have been used as tools to organize and share political information. X is owned by Trump’s boyfriend Elon Musk, Facebook is owned by Trump’s new best friend Mark Zuckerberg, and TikTok announced its reinstatement with a blistering ode to our Beloved Leader Donald Trump. If those platforms begin hiding the resistance from us, that doesn’t mean it no longer exists.

Maha Ibrahim, a program managing attorney at the Equal Rights Advocates, told the 19th that young LGBTQ+ people should pay attention to what’s happening and demand action from their elected officials: “We’ve got a lot of students in university right now, where all of their formative years, with the exception of one small gap, were spent under an administration that was trying to erase them. I’m less concerned about the force of law — I’m more concerned about the will and the energy and belief in LGBTQIA students that these rights have been fought for for decades in their name, and that we’re here to continue the fight and we haven’t abandoned them.”


Feature image by JIM WATSON/AFP via Getty Images

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3291 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. This is the exact in-depth (and also passionate and fiery) explanation that I came to autostraddle for today. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  2. Thank you Riese, this is what I needed. A beacon of hope while addressing: yes, it is really very bad. A tough balance these days. And the call to action. I appreciate the article and its timing.

  3. QUIT ALGORITHMIC SOCIAL MEDIA!

    The masks are off – it’s always been a way to weaken and divide the opposition. Find IRL community. If that’s not possible, stick to smaller and more decentralized platforms.

  4. thank you SO much for this. my friends keep saying TRUMP JUST MADE IT ILLEGAL TO BE TRANS and like yes, things are clearly extremely bad and scary and he would do that if he could??? but also, no he didn’t! i think people are mixing up criminal law and civil law too. we can’t fight smart if we don’t understand what is actually happening. so thank you for this breakdown! it’s what i come here for. (i am a member i just cant be fussed to log in haha)

Comments are closed.

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

Q:

Hi Autostraddle! I am a newly realized bisexual woman (although, looking back, it should have been painfully obvious), and for the past few weeks, I have had an overwhelming desire to explore my attraction to women. I’ve flirted with women at bars, online, and have even had a few steamy make-out sessions, but I’m extremely anxious about taking it any further. I know I have no reason to feel ashamed, but I have practically zero sexual experience with women, and although I want to learn, I’m afraid that women will lose interest in me after I tell them about my inexperience.

How do I initiate these conversations? What can I do to prepare myself for a potentially negative reaction? Or should I stop flirting entirely and wait until I meet a woman who clicks with me romantically? Please help!

Sincerely,
Bi Panic

A:

Hey there, Bi Panic

Feeling very panic and not very disco about newfound personal discovery happens to a lot of us. Sometimes, that’s what self-discovery looks like. I’m glad you’ve joined our little club.

Right. You’ve got the ground floor experiences of bisexual exploration. You’ve experienced attraction to different genders and maybe felt odd afterward, flirted with and made out with some lovely women. If it soothes the anxiety about your anxiety: Even career queers like me are still afraid of taking the next steps after making out with someone. Somehow, flirtation, sex, and kissing are all more approachable than asking someone out. Or maybe that’s a me thing.

Before I take on your questions, the first thing I’ll mention is that you’re far from the first person worried about this. This one went up a few weeks ago. This is a normal feeling that arises from living in a sexually open world where people’s sexual exploits are known widely. Those of us who are sexually active are only one slice of humanity. A loud slice perhaps (sorry, neighbors and readers). Queer circles are positively full of people who are seeking sex, disinterested, or not doing it.

Just as there are countless ways to be sexual (including not), the queer landscape is replete with opinions on sexual experience. I dare say that the majority of queer women don’t care much about sexual inexperience as long as other essentials are there: interest, openness, trust. Sure, some people won’t take it well if you bring up your inexperience with women, but the people who react poorly to that weren’t a good fit for you in the first place. The adage that “The people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter,” fits well.

So how do you initiate these conversations? I hate to say it, but it’s context-dependent. There are worlds between a sit-down what are we talk after three months of steady dating and falling so hard you want to use U-Haul as a substitute for that chat. My preferred advice for learning these conversations? Follow your instinct, but give yourself time to prepare for each person you broach the topic with. Some people (including my past self) used to prepare a standard, scripted escalation conversation. Turns out, that’s an autistic thing I do, and it suffers from inflexibility.

Every person is different, and relationships are about compromising mid-way. That includes compromising on your best laid plans ahead and going with the flow. Watch how your new favorite person prefers to communicate and match their energy. Do they need privacy to talk about important topics or is a restaurant okay? Do they readily speak their mind? How good are they at keeping touch with you so far? Look for these cues and build something that matches them.

What can you do to prepare for a negative reaction regarding your lack of experience with women? I’m just gonna refer back to the point about how the people who care won’t matter to you. You and I both know that you don’t have a reason to feel ashamed. Bracing for a negative reaction primes you to be the person who’s done something ‘wrong’ and will soon face judgement. The judgement should fall on people who won’t give you their time on the basis of unfair assumptions about your life. The way I see it, you can prepare for the negative reaction by valuing yourself highly.

Lastly, whether you should stop your flirting and wait for a fitting soul to come along is up to you. You’ve done fine in exploratory encounters with women already. The past flirtation, kissing, and good conversations you’ve had are proof of your charisma. If you’d like to put a hold on that and wait, please only do it out of a belief that it’s right for you, rather than the idea of ‘inexperience’ holding you back.

I hope I’ve answered your question directly, but I also want to stress that you do have sexual experience. I get that when you talk about ‘zero sexual experience’ with women, you’re talking about below-the-shirt stuff. But kissing and flirtation are romantic and sexual experiences in their own right. They’re formative experiences that teach us the groundwork of romantic connection, communication, and consent that we build on toward future exploits. Queer sex needn’t emphasize vaginal penetration, orgasm, or so other traditional milestones. It takes on a very individualized shape that will only make sense to you once you explore further.

What I’m getting at is: You’re ready. Do what makes you happy.


You can chime in with your advice in the comments and submit your own questions any time.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Summer Tao

Summer Tao is a South Africa based writer. She has a fondness for queer relationships, sexuality and news. Her love for plush cats, and video games is only exceeded by the joy of being her bright, transgender self

Summer has written 61 articles for us.

5 Comments

      • Naw if she cheated on u n told u she sucked d then came home n kissed that’s gross but just cuz blue is warmest color doesn’t mean it’s real life not all bi women r like that

  1. Dear letter writer, if someone is anything but kind about your sexual inexperience with women, that gives you valuable information about this person. Then you can be like (in your head or our loud): “Good to know. Bye-bye!”
    You have options here. It is not just whether the other person is choosing you, but your choice as well: do you want to be with them?
    You could tell yourself: if you don’t like me the way I am, I don’t like you at all. Or: If you don’t want me, based on this, I really don’t want you either. You’re missing out.

    Someone said they consider meeting new people (as in dating, or otherwise) as an experiment. It made them feel braver. With new people, you can try out what works for you and what doesn’t; you can try out new things in how you behave and want to act. You don’t have as much to lose as with people you you know and who might expect you to behave in a specific way (not just in the regard you wrote AS about). You can evaluate after a date: ok, this is how it went, and next time, I will do it differently. Or: this is something I like about the way I was behaving, and I will do it again (and of course, the same theme will feel so different with different people).
    If you feel confident and courageous in a date, you could also share your sexual inexperience with women as a sorting mechanism, as in thinking: you react condescendingly? Ok, this does not work for me. Bye.
    This might be hard with something that you feel already vulnerable about. If you think that the rejection based on this would hurt too badly, then maybe it is not the time for this kind of experiment.

    You could prepare three sentences for you to calm/soothe you before/after a date, and your possible disclosure – like affirmations.
    If you want, you could also prepare one/two/three standard answer(s) for if a person reacts poorly.
    The point of this is that you don’t need to come up with something new in the moment when you are possibly anxious/hurt or have other strong feelings one way or another.

    Also, I agree with Summer that many queer women don’t care about sexual inexperience as long as other essentials are there!

    I found the following helpful for me: “What if there is nothing to fix? There is something to learn.”
    What I mean is: there is nothing wrong with me, I don’t need to “fix” something, and I have a learning opportunity.

    I want you to know: you are perfect the way you are, many queer people have insecurities about their sexual history/experience (or absence thereof), you are not alone, and you are valid.

    Great advice, Summer, always a delight to read your responses <3

Comments are closed.

‘Southern Hospitality’ Is Steadily Becoming the Queerest Show on Bravo

Southern Hospitality recently entered its third season, and if there’s a Vanderpump Rules-shaped hole in your heart, you’ve got to be watching this show. It’s a spin-off of Southern Charm, and if that particular part of the Bravosphere isn’t for you, look, I get it. Southern Charm has featured some of the most heinous men in Bravo history, and that’s really saying something! Also, remember when Bravo performatively fired a bunch of reality stars for racist tweets and other incidents but continued to employ people who own literal plantations on Southern Charm? Because I sure do! But I digress. Southern Hospitality is a much more palatable show than Southern Charm, and it evokes the early seasons of Vanderpump Rules but with more gays, which I think we can all agree is an improvement. It centers on a group of young hotties who work at a club/bar on bustling King Street in Charleston. Service industry friend groups and gay friend groups are breeding grounds for drama, so when you have GAY restaurant workers thrown together on reality television? Oh yes, that’s that good shit.

One of the most deranged Pride traditions my wife and I have is rewatching all of the Pride episodes of Vanderpump Rules, which are extremely cringe and, somehow, extremely straight — at least until Ariana eventually comes out as bisexual, but that takes several seasons! Imagine our surprise when we watched Southern Hospitality and a Pride episode actually featured drama between gay people. Progress! After its first season, Southern Hospitality even received a GLAAD Award nomination. That first season included Mikel, a Black gay man struggling to square his sexuality with his religious upbringing. It also introduced TJ, who has been open about the struggles of dating as a gay man in a small Southern city like Charleston throughout the series.

In season three, TJ remains a main character and even bigger focus of the series, his friendship fallout with main cast member Joe Bradley a central storyline. That storyline is complicated by the fact that TJ feels Joe used to send him mixed signals and TJ’s confession of feelings for Joe, who maintains he’s straight, but their dynamic seems complicated to say the least (and will be explored more directly in the episode airing later this week). This season, TJ is also embroiled in a complicated situationship with newcomer Michols, a Black gay man who no longer has a close relationship with his mother after coming out. TJ was one of Michols’ first gay friends, so Michols feels hurt and confused in the wake of a kiss with TJ, feelings amplified by the fact that Michols is hesitant to purse anything with TJ since TJ hasn’t typically dated people of color. That conversation was intensely vulnerable, Michols sharing that his friends have become his chosen family. TJ definitely falls into that chosen family group, so of course it’s complicated that things got briefly romantic. This feels so real and like a common experience for a lot of young queer people who are just coming out. Close friendship and queer “mentorship” can sometimes lead to confusion or blurred boundaries.

In last week’s episode, it was revealed there’s another queer newcomer to the cast. Lake, a 22-year-old art school grad, has joined the Republic team as a VIP host. While on a date with fellow Republic employee Brad, she shares: “I’m a lover girl. Male, female, nonbinary, I don’t care.” She elaborates in testimonial: “I realized I’m on the fluid side when I was really young, and then I started having crushes on girls. But it wasn’t like ‘mom and dad, I’m gonna sit you down.’ Like, no, it wasn’t like that. Girlfriends, boyfriends, flings, whoever! I identify as for the people.”

Lake’s situation and relationship to her sexuality is definitely distinct from some of the other Southern Hospitality cast members’. Mikel — who did not return after season two — TJ, and Michols have all struggled with coming out as gay in the South and have talked about strained relationships with family members. I love that we’re not only getting one monolithic narrative about queerness in the South on the show. Michols and Mikel both have talked about queerness in relationship to their Blackness, and now we also have a queer Black woman who grew up in the South and who has been comfortably out as pan or bi (I’m not totally sure which labels she uses, if any) since she was young.

I could use a lot more of Lake, Michols, and TJ this season and a lot less of whatever is going on with Emmy and Will. I’m sure there’s a longer, deeper thinkpiece in me about this (that nobody asked for), but I feel like Scandoval cast such a huge shadow on the Bravosphere, and viewers are so hungry for a similar group-shattering cheating scandal, which thereby makes the people on the show desperate to provide the same level of drama. I can’t tell how much of Emmy’s behaviors are genuine denial and delusion about the state of her relationship and how much is an attempt to self-produce her way into an Ariana-like arc. That sounds cynical on my part, but I do wonder!

I also feel like I have a lot more thoughts on the TJ/Joe situation, and I hope they can at least both be honest about it all. Joe seems to have a tenuous relationship with the truth in general; he blatantly lied in last season’s reunion by saying he didn’t sleep with Luann. In any case, even if something did happen between TJ and Joe (Joe maintains he just drunkenly snuggled with TJ after a late night out), TJ should not be going around outing Joe, which he maybe seemingly tried to do in the past. It’s all very messy! But messy friendships are exactly the stuff Southern Hospitality traffics in.

Will we get a Pride episode this season? I sure hope so!

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 960 articles for us.

Scam Goddess Was Made for TV

Laci Mosley became one of my new favorites for two reasons: 1) Her performance as fashionista Harper Bettancourt on iCarly, as she brought a jovial charisma and bisexual flavor to the gone-too-soon series revival. 2) Her Earwolf-produced podcast Scam Goddess. My favorite episode was the one where she and Ashley Ray slammed Black Lives Matter scammer Shaun King and Mosely sang all of his newly dubbed nicknames to the beat of “Lift Every Voice and Sing.”

Now imagine my shock and excitement I had a little under two weeks ago once I learned a Scam Goddess series adaptation was not only being made but was dropping imminently. Since scam artists never cease to take a vacation, it’s only fitting that the Scam Goddess herself take her con-exposure game to the next level. But the question is: How was the Scam Goddess podcast going to make its way onto the small screen? Easy. With Laci Mosley front and center, matched with a series of crime stories to deconstruct. Believe me when I say, this series adaptation doesn’t disappoint. It is the next great true-crime series destined to become your new obsession.

The Scam Goddess series forgoes the style of the podcast, which often involves Mosley and a guest of the week ribbing on a con artist’s series of L’s. Instead, Mosley heads to different American territories, ranging from small-town Opelika, Alabama to Brooklyn, New York, to spotlight different rip-offs, robberies, cons, and other sleazy crimes that go unnoticed by the masses. Mosley investigates further by conducting extensive interviews with three separate subjects who were directly connected with the cases. Each episode leaves you gagged in some way, not just by the details of the cons, but by how it goes about the reveal.

The show’s approach bears the resemblance of an Anthony Bourdain travel series and Dateline, albeit with Mosley’s charismatic charm and zesty wordplay propelling it. It’s fun to see Mosley naturally integrate herself into each environment she travels to by visiting local businesses and talking to everyday citizens about their knowledge of a certain scam artist. The smaller the town, the more likely the citizens are to react in dismay, as if the scammer’s name was Bruno.

Even though Laci Mosley has been working in entertainment as an actress for years, Scam Goddess proves that this is her calling. Throughout the show, Mosley interviews people in different places with professionalism, empathy, and interest. On one occasion within the three episodes that I’ve watched, she conducts an interview with one of the con artists themselves. Yes, Scam Goddess actually spoke with a scam artist, and she maintains such composure and tries to wring out remorse from the subject. It’s overwhelming and feels like a major W.

She has a natural way with people, playing off them while still respecting everyone she meets in a way that’s engaging and enlightening and juicy. You know she’s been doing this for a long time, and her talents leap from the studio to the screen. On rare occasions, it is easy to forget that she is an entertainer due to her unwavering curiosity and passion in her highlighting the scam artists, deconstructing and criticizing them, and praising the communities that persisted from the steam those scammers rolled.

Did I mention that Mosley is on her fashionista game in each episode? She makes sure everywhere she rolls up, she has style and panache that match her boisterous personality. It had me tearing up in joy and going, “Welcome back, Harper!”

Scam Goddess is an admirable adaptation that elevates Laci Mosley’s acclaimed podcast to a captivating, informative, and sincere visual format. It is a far too good of a docuseries to be aired on Freeform but I believe I’ll be tuning in to see wherever Mosley’s deCONstruction tour takes her next. Let’s hope she goes worldwide in season two. Beware scammers, your own Chris Hansen is on your doorstep.


Scam Goddess is now available on Freeform

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Rendy Jones

Rendy Jones (they/he) is a film and television journalist born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. They are the world's first gwen-z film journalist and owner of self-published independent outlet Rendy Reviews, a member of the Critics' Choice Association, GALECA, and a screenwriter. They have been seen in Vanity Fair, Them, RogerEbert.com, Rolling Stone, and Paste.

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Queer Books About the Environment for When All You Can Think About Is Climate Crisis

While many may desire escapism in times of widespread natural disasters and conversations about climate crisis, there are many of us who actually seek the opposite in art, wanting to immerse ourselves in literature, film, or visual art that actually engages with, comments on, or investigates the horrors around us. There are a lot of great queer books that contend with climate in some way. I was going to limit myself to creating a list of environmentally focused novels, but I wanted to include a wider breadth of literature to account for different interests and needs. Some of the books below are hard cli-fi, science-fiction with an explicit focus on environmental issues. Others lean more literary fiction with nature/climate themes. There are also works of nonfiction that present science in accessible ways and even land-focused poetry. I’ve organized it loosely by sections, though some books straddle multiple categories. In any case, if you’re seeking to immerse yourself in a queer book that honors the planet or speaks to the horrors ravaging it, there’s bound to be something for you in this list.

These books are about land, ecology, natural disasters, apocalypse, the harm capitalism does to the planet, despair, hope, growth, death, and rebirth. Because the books below cover a wide range of genres, tones, and scopes while sharing some thematic links, I’ve written slightly longer blurbs than I usually do for these book lists to provide more context.

And please shout out anything that isn’t here that you think should be, especially poetry since I know there’s a lot more to add there!


Queer Cli-Fi

Yours for the Taking and The Shutouts by Gabrielle Korn

Yours for the Taking and The Shutouts by Gabrielle Korn Yours for the Taking and The Shutouts by Gabrielle Korn

Whether you’re newer to the cli-fi genre or an expert, if you haven’t read these novels — which function both as linked sequels as well as standalones — they’re probably my top recommendation on this whole list! They’re not hard science-fiction so much as dystopian literary fiction, and they explicitly tackle issues of feminism, gender, and queerness within their commentary on climate crisis, environmental justice, and extractive capitalism. Yours for the Taking came out first and is set across the years 2050-2078, at a time when the Earth has been so destroyed by climate change that a completely new society is dreamt up by corporate girlboss Jacqueline Millender, who creates Insides, city-sized communities that are permanently sealed off from the dangerous outdoors. The catch? Jacqueline wants to use Insides to employ her gender essentialist radical ideology that it’s men who have ruined the planet by only allowing women and nonbinary people to apply. You can read more in my reviewThe Shutouts, a prequel as well as standalone novel that came out at the end of 2024, is set between 2041 and 2078, chronicling the early stages of the end of the world just before the Insides launched. But it’s more centered on the people on the outside, including those on the run from The Inside. As with the first, it’s about queer family, friendship, and love as much as it’s about the societal and environmental scenarios that pressure-cook the characters and their lives. Stay tuned for a forthcoming interview with Gabrielle about The Shutouts and what cli-fi can tell us about our current moment of climate change-impacted natural disasters.

Black Wave by Michelle Tea

Black Wave by Michelle Tea

Queer in content and in form, Michelle Tea’s experimental novel set in 1999 at a time when it’s announced that the world will end in one year is a must-read and an underrated gem. Elements of autofiction are in play — its protagonist is a queer artist and writer living in Los Angeles, named Michelle — and the book tackles love, life, regret, hope, and sobriety. Given the apocalyptic Los Angeles setting, it could be cathartic or painful to read it if you’re a queer Angeleno in these times, so keep that in mind.

The Free People’s Village by Sim Kern

The Free People's Village by Sim Kern

Sim Kern, who you may know from their frequent educational and fundraising videos about Palestine, pens this cli-fi novel set in an alternate 2020 timeline where Al Gore won the 2000 election and the War on Terror never happened. Efforts to fight climate change thrive, but this perfect green society of course isn’t as utopian as meets the eye: the wealthiest, whitest neighborhoods enjoy the benefits of these green infrastructure programs. The novel follows Maddie Ryan, an English teacher and guitarist in a queer punk band called Bunny Bloodlust (love this detail), who lives in Houston’s Eighth Ward, which is being threatened by the development of an electromagnetic highway out to those wealthy, white enclaves. She joins a coalition of Black-led activists to save the neighborhood, learning her own role in gentrification along the way. The Free People’s Village tackles many social and environmental issues at once without feeling heavy or prescriptive, focusing on personal stories amid the larger ones it tells about capitalism, climate, and activism. Its commentary never comes off as rote or tedious, bolstered by humor and humanity.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Solomon writes some of the best queer genre books with social commentary of the moment, and this science-fiction novel is set in a time when the Earth has become uninhabitable, and a spaceship called the HSS Matilda ferries survivors to a supposed Promised Land. But the conditions on board the Matilda mimic the antebellum South. White supremacy, the heteropatriarchy, and class stratification run rampant, climate change fueling these violent forces.

The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders

The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders

This novel takes place in the far future on a tidally locked planet called January, whose climate exists in two extremes: the very hot side that faces the sun and in the frozen tundra of the night side. Humans live on January in two ideological polarities as well: in one city governed by authoritarianism and in another built on anarchy and run by competing gangs. Charlie Jane Anders’ imaginative work of cli-fi pulls from scientific research Anders did while writing the book and mixes science with the speculative to yield great world-building. It focuses on two main characters: Sophie, who has a crush on her school roommate Bianca, and Mouth, who is part of a group called the Citizens, who live between the two extreme cities on the road. Charlie Jane Anders is writing some of the best queer and trans science-fiction and speculative fiction in the game right now, so get into her!

All City by Alex Difrancesco

All City by Alex Difrancesco

Set in a near-future NYC, All City follows Makayla, a 24-year-old woman working in a convenience store chain, and Jesse, an 18-year-old genderqueer anarchist punk living in an abandoned subway station in the Bronx. The two characters encounter each other in the aftermath of a terrible superstorm that makes most of the city unlivable and leads many people to lose their homes. Its story and themes are, if you can’t tell, very relevant to a lot of what’s happening from coast to coast in the country right now!

After the Dragons by Cynthia Zhang

After the Dragons by Cynthia Zhang

A simultaneous work of urban fantasy and cli-fi, Cynthia Zhang’s debut novel tells a story of love between two men against the backdrop of a near-future alternative reality Beijing, where the rise in droughts accompanies steep rises in water prices. The droughts and pollution in the air — which has led to a terminal condition called shaolong, “burnt lung” — impacts not only the human population but also dragons, who main character Kai spends his time saving. He meets Elijah Ahmed, who’s beckoned to Beijing after his grandmother dies of shaolong. While it is not about our world, the climate crises of the novel mirror real-world conditions, especially the lasting health impact of breathing toxic air, a problem countries outside of the Western world have been dealing with for a while and that many cities in the U.S. face now.

Blackfish City by Sam J. Miller

Blackfish City by Sam J. Miller

A floating city with advanced geothermal heating technology is constructed in the Arctic circle following a series of climate wars in this post-apocalyptic cli-fi novel. The rotating cast of characters includes queer man Fill, nonbinary character Soq, and a lesbian grandma who rides in on an ORCA. I repeat: A lesbian grandma who rides in on an orca whale!!!!!! Queerness is almost more than normalized in this novel; it’s essential to the planet’s continued survival and a new vision of society and family.

The Sea Within by Missouri Vaun

The Sea Within by Missouri Vaun

This time-travel sci-fi romance features a fun butch/femme dynamic and lesbian shenanigans against a backdrop of a climate-ravaged earth and two women’s quest to go back in time to save it. After a one night stand, paleobotonist Elle Graham and US Space Force’s Captain Jackson Drake team up to travel back in time on a steamy, high-stakes adventure that brings their personal pasts and the apocalyptic past of the planet to the surface.

The Tiger Flu by Larissa Lai

The Tiger Flu by Larissa Lai

A brilliant work of sci-fi/fantasy, The Tiger Flu imagines a world of bioengineered women and extreme class stratification bolstered by capitalism and climate change. It’s about two women from different backgrounds — Kirilow and Kora — who are thrust together to fight for their and their communities’ survival. It’s very much a pandemic book, its events directly inspired by the spread of H5N1 in 2003. Like all the best speculative fiction, The Tiger Flu uses speculative elements to imagine new possibilities for the world. Despite all the fantasy and fiction, it still feels very real.

Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer

Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer

The third book in VanderMeer’s iconic Southern Reach series is the most explicitly queer installment. I hesitated to put it on the list since you really do need to read the two books that come before it, but then I decided to just make this my pitch for you to read the full series, which is very good and very surreal in its explorations of climate and humanity. The books are centered on Area X, an uninhabited and mysterious stretch of coastal land that nature is reclaiming in violent, magnificent ways. My relationship to these novels completely changed/deepened when I moved to Florida.

Slow River by Nicola Griffith

Slow River by Nicola Griffith

Though not quite cli-fi and more of a science-fiction tale with lesbian romance, Slow River is greatly concerned with the science of water purification and who “owns” water technology. It imagines the future of this technology, and its protagonist is the rejected member of a family that built its empire on the patenting of microorganisms that rapidly purify water. Griffith weaves real research on water purification and sewage management into the narrative, and again, while climate isn’t an explicit topic, the book still feels at home on this list, prescient of the “water wars” that are already well underway in this country. It came out in 1995 and was set in an imagined future, but it holds a lot of relevance to today.

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

I’d describe Tillie Walden’s science-fiction graphic novel as a work of climate futurism. It’s set in space, and the primary story arc involves the love story of Mia and Grace who meet in boarding school and eventually lose each other, sending them on a journey back to one another. But it is also subtly a story about colonization, shifting landscapes, life-threatening storms, and resource disparities. The book is full of queer women and nonbinary characters.

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler

Easily the greatest work of cli-fi of all time, this is the only book I’m including here that isn’t necessarily explicitly queer, but if you’ve read it, then you’d probably agree that it still warrants placement on this list. A brilliant work of Black feminist thought and dystopian literature, it is about how we must upend the systems destroying humanity and this world. People have been calling it prophetic in recent years, but it was actually created using deep historical research. In an interview in 2000, Butler called global warming practically a character in and of itself in the book.

Road Out of Winter by Alison Stine

Road Out of Winter by Alison Stine

Bisexual protagonist Wylodine comes from a family of illegal marijuana farmers in rural Appalachian Ohio, and after spring doesn’t return for a second year in a row, overridden by extreme winter conditions, she packs up her seeds and heads away from home, encountering a dangerous cult and harsh conditions along the way. Road Out of Winter depicts a familiar if technically speculative world plagued by climate crisis.


Queer Literary Fiction with Environmental/Climate Themes

Eleutheria by Allegra Hyde

Eleutheria by Allegra Hyde

Optimist Willa Marks meets Harvard professor Sylvia Gill, whose library contains a guide to fighting climate change called Living the Solution that sends Willa on a journey to the Bahamian island of Eleutheria to work with the guide’s author and his ecowarrior followers. But all is not as utopian in this community as Willa had hoped. The novel explores the dichotomies of doom vs. hope, authoritariansm vs. collectivism. I wavered on whether to include it in the cli-fi section or here, but ultimately classifying it as science-fiction doesn’t quite feel right, as it plays out with more realism while still explicitly being about climate change (a central topic touched on as soon as the first page). The Willa/Sylvia dynamic is also a May-December romance, and I know a lot of y’all will like that!

Private Rites by Julia Armfield

Private Rites by Julia Armfield

Julia Armfield’s latest is set in a near-future where floods have soaked the world, drumming up old rituals and religious practices for people navigating a world at its end. Floods function both literally and metaphorically in the narrative, which centers on three distant sisters brought together when their estranged father dies. Grief fiction and climate crisis collide. While you’re at it, read Our Wives Under the Sea, which is not NOT about climate!

Memory Piece by Lisa Ko

Memory Piece by Lisa Ko

Lisa Ko’s sprawling, feminist tale about art, tech, and capitalism Memory Piece sets its sights more squarely on the dot com boom and its aftermath as well as the housing crisis, gentrification, and wealth disparity more so than explicit climate themes for most of its pages, but of course all these things are connected to environmental justice. The dystopian New York City of the books final, near-future section has been shaped by oppressive surveillance as well as climate change. It covers the 1980s through the 2040s and follows three interconnected characters, who begin the novel as young women: Giselle Chin, Jackie Ong, and Ellen Ng. Jackie and Ellen’s longtime friendship eventually involves into them becoming lovers, even as Jackie remains entangled in a long distance relationship with another woman, Diane. The queer relationships (and sex scenes!) in Memory Piece are as detailed and developed as its storytelling about the toxic relationship between art and capitalism.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

Ocean Vuong’s gorgeous epistolary novel follows gay poet Little Dog and his family lineage from Vietnam to Hartford, Connecticut. And while the book is not explicitly about climate, it makes metaphors of floods and examines the violences of war — including the napalm used by the U.S. during the Vietnam War, which we know had devastating and lasting impacts on the environment and landscape of Vietnam — in ways that feel inextricably connected to climate. It is a family history deeply rooted in place.

My Volcano by John Elizabeth Stintzi

My Volcano by John Elizabeth Stintzi

An absurdist work of eco-horror and queer+trans storytelling, My Volcano is not explicitly About Climate Change, but it takes place in an alternative 2016 when a volcano suddenly emerges in the middle of Central Park. The volatile shifts of the Earth in John Elizabeth Stintzi’s surreal novel may technically be the stuff of fiction, but there’s a twisted familiarity to the chaos of landscape and society throughout. This is a weird one! But doesn’t climate change sometimes feel…fucking weird?!

**Also just a quick note for this section that if you’re into books like this that aren’t quite hard cli-fi but still address a climate crisis head-on or might be called “apocalypse fiction,” I super recommend the novel A Children’s Bible by Lydia Millet. It’s a fantastic book, with an opening I think of often, but it only really has one minor queer character and doesn’t quite fit the LGBTQ scope of this list. You can read the opening on Electric Literature. Similarly, please check out Weather by Jenny Offill. I find Offill’s fragmentary style a good formal match for the subject of climate change, and though not queer, the book is unconventional.


Queer Nonfiction About the Environment

Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire edited by Catriona Mortimer-Sandilands and Bruce Erickson

Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire 

While on the more academic side of this section, this is still a very accessible text, anthologizing a range of contributions from environmental experts that merge ecology with queer theory (and weave in other schools of thought, including critical race theory, species politics, and the politics of desire). I’ve recently become very fascinated with the growing study of “queer ecology,” and if you’re at all interested in dabbling, this is a great place to start. Find essays like “Undoing Nature: Coalition Building as Queer Environmentalism” and “Biophilia, Creative Involution, and the Ecological Future of Queer Desire.”

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler

This book inspired a permanent interest in marine biology for me, a person who did not previously think of herself as all that scientifically inclined. But nature and biology are so fun when they’re GAY, which is one of the theses of this entire list of books, if you think about it. Want to understand queer ecology? It’s this. Imbler proves we — as in queer people and queer communities — have so much in common with underwater species, the lines between humans and other species vaporous throughout their compelling essays that do more than simply make metaphors out of marine life. Read this book! And also read Dyke (geology), also by Imbler, and also a book I’m constantly recommending on this here website.

M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

Honestly, it is impossible to ascribe a set genre to this book, an experimental academic text by genius-brained Alexis Pauline Gumbs. I’m putting it in this section and choosing to call it speculative nonfiction (which, yes, is a thing!). The book is told from the point of view of a future researcher uncovering the conditions of today: from late-stage capitalism, to anti-Blackness, to climate crisis. It’s extremely poetic and creative and guaranteed to be unlike anything you’ve ever read.

Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

And we’ve got another Alexis Pauline Gumbs banger, this one pairing very well with the Imbler book. It’s a guide to life through the lens of marine mammals, who can teach us about queerness, our relationships to one another, interpersonal conflict, and more. Social and climate justice are not so disparate from scientific and biological studies, and this book is proof of that.

Borealis by Aisha Sabatini Sloan

Borealis by Aisha Sabatini Sloan

This book-length essay tracks the author’s experiences traveling through Alaska and includes meditations on glaciers, Blackness, queerness, climate and political anxiety, and more. Alaska is a wondrous place, and this book does its complexity and natural world justice.

This Book Is a Knife: Radical Working-Class Strategies in the Age of Climate Change by L. E. Fox

This Book Is a Knife: Radical Working-Class Strategies in the Age of Climate Change by L. E. Fox

Queer nonbinary writer and journalist L. E. Fox pens this urgent essay collection that critiques capitalism and human contributes to climate change while calling for a reimagination of the world and class-conscious strategies to make those reimaginations possible. The book is based on the question-premise of: We know climate change is happening, so what can we do now?

Unsettling: Surviving Extinction Together by Elizabeth Weinberg

Unsettling: Surviving Extinction Together by Elizabeth Weinberg

I’m using the term “reimagine” a lot throughout this, but a lot of the best climate justice work does exactly that. This book calls on us to reimagine our relationship to nature and the environment, applying an antiracist and queer praxis to its approach to climate justice. It’s a very accessible text, pulling personal narrative and pop culture into its arguments.

Daddy Boy by Emerson Whitney

Daddy Boy by Emerson Whitney

This is a bit of an out-of-left-field pick for the list, but I think it makes sense. Daddy Boy is a short memoir and work of nonfiction that follows Emerson Whitney in the wake of divorcing their 10-year partner, a dominatrix they call Daddy. In the wreckage of this relationship, Emerson turns toward an unlikely activity as they navigate adulthood beyond the gender binary: storm chasing. While many climate books are about the inevitability of storms, Daddy Boy is about chasing them. But storms prove impossible to wrangle and manifest, and as Emerson travels through Texas where they’re from and other parts of “tornado alley,” storms and the pursuit of them take on textured meaning. Here is a very queer, very trans book about the American West. At the very least, you should read Harron Walker’s interview with Emerson, which does explicitly touch on climate change but also provides some more context for what I think was one of the most underrated releases of 2023.


Queer Poetry and Short Fiction About Climate

Love after the End: An Anthology of Two-Spirit and Indigiqueer Speculative Fiction edited by Joshua Whitehead

Love after the End: An Anthology of Two-Spirit and Indigiqueer Speculative Fiction edited by Joshua Whitehead

This collection of speculative fiction from 2SQ writers is impossible to perfectly sum up in one description, as its scopes, themes, and styles are vast, but many of its works are connected by themes of land in crisis, climate change, and alternative futures as well as — as its title suggests — apocalypses. As we consider the “end of the world,” we should turn to Indigenous artists who know well what that looks like for their people. Contributors include asexual writer Darcie Little Badger and Indigiqueer poet and drag artist jaye simpson.

Buffalo Is the New Buffalo by Chelsea Vowel

Buffalo Is the New Buffalo by Chelsea Vowel

If Love after the End appealed to your interests, then perhaps you should also check out Chelsea Vowel’s Métis futurism collection of short stories that merge science fiction tropes with Métis and Indigenous storytelling. The intersections of colonialism and climate are present through these stories, which feature 2SQ characters.

Sarahland by Sam Cohen

Sarahland by Sam Cohen

At first glance, this one might seem to be a bit of a wild card for this list, but I think several of the stories in this bizarre and hilarious and very queer collection fall into the realm of queer ecology and environmental absurdism. Cohen often personifies nature and non-human species, such as in sentences like: “The plants seemed full of conflicting desires,” from a story about a character who wishes to become trees. And the collection’s final story is a striking flash piece of the many deaths and rebirths of the planet. Sometimes you read a novel that isn’t about climate change outright but you can tell the author was thinking about climate change while writing it, and this is one of those.

Freedom House by KB Brookins

Freedom House by KB Brookins

I had the privilege of hearing KB read the poem “Good Grief,” which is featured in the third section of their debut collection Freedom House, and I was struck by its incisive look at environmental racism. It is about the 2021 Texas Winter Storm Uri, which caused massive power grid failures in the state, particularly impacting Black and poor neighborhoods. Some lines from it: “A highway splits a nation from its promise to be one. / Everything feels blurry and the palm trees have died. / Everything transported here withers away eventually. / 6 months later and I haven’t been able to shovel out my sadness.”

Water I Won’t Touch by Kayleb Rae Candrilli

Water I Won't Touch by Kayleb Rae Candrilli

Gardens, bodies of water, and landscapes make up much of the imagery in this trans poetry collection about home, family, and surviving on inhospitable lands. “My sibling and I loved each other / most during storms. I know this,” reads the titular poem. Also, this poem isn’t in the book, but I love the poet’s “All in Red,” which features references to the state-sanctioned violence committed against climate activists as well as a reference to David Lynch (RIP).

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 960 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. I’m looking forward to “Queer Books About ____ When All You Can Think About Is Fascism, Dictatorship, and How Long Do We Still Have.”
    Not that anyone on Autostraddle would have to write that article.
    But it is what I am thinking of much recently, especially with Trump’s inauguration today and surely more in the upcoming weeks and years.
    Thank you for this article and the book recommendations.

  2. Thanks for all these recommendations! I want to give a plug for Land of Milk and Honey by C Pam Zhang—great semi-apocalypse novel about the arrogance of billionaires and resilience and creativity of everybody else

    • oh shit, thank you, I had C Pam’s book in the note on my phone i started when i first started workigng on this but somehow got lost in the shuffle. a great add! next time i update this list i’ll be adding it

  3. Thanks for this list! I heartily second Buffalo Is the New Buffalo by Chelsea Vowel. have a couple more suggestions.

    The Monk and Robot series by Becky Chambers. The first book is Psalm for the Wild Built. A gentle cli-fi /eco-utopian read set a moon where advanced technology once was used to disrupt and exploit their ecology and now is used to allow humans to live sustainably and in harmony with nature. And without robot labor. It’s about Sibling Dex (they/them), a restless tea monk who goes off into the wilderness and encounters the first robot any human has encountered since the factory robots achieved sentience and withdrew from human civilization two centuries ago. It’s a gentle, meandering novella. There’s not a lot of plot. There’s a lot of tea and conversations and ideas. It’s delightful, if you like this type of thing. I’d been wanting to read more hopeful books about a green future and this fit the bill pretty well.

    The Home I Find With You by Skye Kilaen. Queer/bi/poly mm romance in a unexpectedly hopeful post-apocalyptic world, set 12 years after the end of the 2nd American Civil War and the collapse of life as it used to be. The author calls this hope-punk and that seems like as good a term as any. I loved the messy protagonists and their emotional journeys. I was completely swept away while I was reading it but when I put down the book I noticed a few holes in the plot and world building.

  4. definitely the type of person who wants “to immerse ourselves in literature, film, or visual art that actually engages with, comments on, or investigates the horrors around us,” so thank you for writing this for everyone (me)

Comments are closed.

Queer Horoscopes for Aquarius Season 2025

Hi folks! I’m Deb with Queerstrology, here to share your horoscopes for Aquarius Season and the first full zodiac season of 2025!

Aquarius Season brings with it assessment of the past year and establishing a plan going forward. It also brings more interactions with others and being part of a team can help guide you in the right direction. Transformation will happen in various ways, and that will sometimes feel overwhelming. By the beginning of February, both Uranus and Jupiter’s retrograde will end and this will allow some heaviness to lift. What do you want to change in your life for the better?

Ruled by Uranus (Ura-nus), the planet of rebellion and innovation, Aquarius also governs the 11th house, associated with networks and community. This means you may feel significant effects in these areas of your birth chart, particularly where Aquarius and Uranus reside, as well as any activity in your 11th house.

Aquarius Season brings the energy of change and freedom. Embracing the uprising of this season will allow you to change the typical into spectacular. Establish what uprising you want to champion for a better world.


Key Dates to Note:

Aquarius Season began Sunday, January 19 at 3:00 pm ET. The Sun moved into the constellation of Aquarius, ending on February 18, with the start of Pisces Season.

January 29: Year of the Wood Snake (Chinese Astrology)
Going by a 12-year cycle, an entire year belongs to a particular animal and the personality and traits of the animal. The snake is associated with wisdom, mystery and elegance. This year is to be transformative under the element of wood bringing quick-wit and competence. Years of the Snake: 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025.

January 29: New Moon in Aquarius
New moons symbolize rebirth, and under the influence of Aquarius, they bring an energy of uniqueness. This is a time to fully embrace your role of rebellion.

January 30: Uranus Direct in Taurus
Uranus is the planet of rebellion and is retrograde 40% of the year, stationing direct after 151 days. In the sign of Taurus this indicates rebellion of what is typically seen as valuable.

February 4: Jupiter Direct in Gemini
Jupiter is the planet of expansion and is retrograde 30% of the year, stationing direct after 118 days. In the sign of Gemini this indicates your voice will finally be heard. Tell your story and get the information to as many folks as you can.

February 12: Full Moon in Leo
Full moons bring a time of reflection, and under Leo encourages creativity and pleasure. The need to feel adoration and loyalty will be in the spotlight.


How Aquarius Season Affects Your Sign

Aries


Your sign will have the most active astrological year, check your 2025 horoscope to see all the action happening. You don’t have to do everything on your own; in fact, this season will encourage you to be a team player. Gather your network to help turn your quick ideas into something innovative and successful.


Taurus

TAURUS
This season sees you stepping up your goals. While your hard work can make you feel secure, it may also leave you feeling stuck. You might be a bit shy about others acknowledging your structure and understanding. However, you may find that being noticed could advance your position in the world.


Gemini


Learning a little bit about everything is usually your style, but during this season it’s time to fully engage in the experience. It’s time to grow the roots of your knowledge and understanding. Adventures that break up your routine will back up what you say with a wide range of knowledge.


Cancer

CANCER
When there’s a lot of transformation happening, you often find yourself calming others’ fears. It’s okay to be the caretaker, but make sure you’re also sharing your own experiences and concerns. Building emotional connections with others and understanding each other allows you to step into your power.


Leo


The end of 2024 was very busy for you and even a bit chaotic. During your opposite sign’s season, take time to reflect on how you contribute to your relationships. Noticing what others bring to the connection will help you decide where to give back or pull back with people. Bringing your loved ones close will allow you to gain a better sense of who you want to be.


Virgo

VIRGO
As one of the only signs that seems to keep their New Year’s resolutions, you are establishing the routines that will help create momentum moving forward. It’s time to fill out your calendar with your goals and important dates, helping to establish what acts of service you want to complete this year. Don’t forget to also add fun and personal things to the calendar!


Libra


This season calls for your focus to be on balance and pleasure. Romance fills the air, giving you a chance to creatively show how much you care for your loved ones. Finish your responsibilities but also celebrate in your delight. Find the balance that will help you make 2025 the year you begin to fully own who you are.


Scorpio


Taking some much-needed time at home doesn’t mean solitude; in fact, you’ll want to be around those you’re close to. The focus will be on connecting more deeply with others in your home space. This will allow you to recharge and heal inner wounds.


Sagittarius


It’s time to express what you’ve learned through your experiences and understanding of the past year. Spend more time with the people you love before venturing off on new adventures. Use this time to reboot and review potential collaborations and opportunities.


Capricorn

CAPRICORN
This season brings a need to find other ways to make money. The way you pursue future goals has changed several times. Always looking to increase the probability of success, you may finally turn a hobby into a moneymaker. You may also find that you have too many possessions without value and decide to sell or donate them.


Aquarius


Your season reminds us that the world is home to all of us. While people are focused on you, show them the benefits of sharing your ideals. Rebrand yourself not as a leader, but as a philosopher who clearly communicates what you stand for. All these things are meant to help you take better care of yourself, and in turn, the world as a whole.


Pisces


You’ve been taking on a lot of responsibility, and that can be draining. During this season, you may have very realistic dreams, some of which may predict future events. Make time to restore yourself, because as your season approaches, the attention on you will grow.


If you would like to learn more about Astrology, check out my social media @Queerstrology or drop any questions or astrology facts in the comments. Let’s learn from each other!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Deb Roe

Deb from Queerstrology is a queer celebrity astrologer. They think of astrology as a journey and your natal chart, the book of reference. Their brand of astrology doesn’t have the gender binary or a specific orientation. The content they produce both research based and fun pop culture astrology insights. They provide astrology readings, if you are interested in learning more.

Deb has written 7 articles for us.

Fix Your Hearts and Live

David Lynch feature image by Gilles Mingasson via Getty Images

“We are like the dreamer who dreams and lives in the dream.” — Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, as quoted by David Lynch

“…But who is the dreamer?” — Twin Peaks: the Return

This morning I woke up and went through my daily routines: showering, moisturizing, blow drying my hair. And then I stacked up two pillows on my bed and sat down on them to meditate for twenty minutes. As I closed my eyes, I thought sadly, “This is the first time I have meditated since Lynch died.” And then I went within.

Meditation came into my life through David Lynch. Though I am not a Transcendental Meditation practitioner as he was, I first considered the connection between meditation and art while reading his memoir Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity (2006). I was attracted to the method, but wasn’t quite able to hold onto it. Like many beginner meditators, I let life get in the way. But during a protracted period of writers’ block a few years ago, I watched one of his lectures on creativity and decided then to finally make it a consistent part of my life.

On some level, I have to admit the embarrassing fan inside me. I hoped that by meditating like him, I too could reach into what he called the unified field of consciousness and pull up astounding, troubling, and inexplicable images to use in my writing and art. Whether I’ve yet caught any fish as big and strange as his from this universal current, I don’t know. What I do know is that meditation has become a core part of caring for my mental and creative health, clearing away the blockages and restoring abilities I once felt lost.

Thanks, David.

In Dreams

“That man has only two abodes, this and the next world. The dream state, which is the third, is at the junction. […] When he dreams, he takes away a little of this all-embracing world (the waking state), himself puts the body aside and himself creates (a dream body in its place), revealing his own lustre by his own light—and dreams. In this state the man himself becomes the light.” — Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, 4.3.9

David Lynch was a painter first. This, I think, is often the key to understanding his work. He used to tell a particular story about how he came to film. Sitting at night in a studio at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts, he was painting a canvas of a dark garden. As he looked at the painting, “the green began to move. And from the green and black came a wind. And I thought, ‘Oh, a moving painting.’” Things often happened like this for Lynch — out of nowhere, an idea would blow across the surface of his mind and, following it, he would be led into new and strange territory. He set out to make moving paintings, first with Six Men Getting Sick (Six Times) (1967) — an animation and sculptural hybrid depicting exactly what the title suggestions to the alarming drone of a siren — and, after a series of uncanny shorts, his debut feature Eraserhead (1977), which became a cult sensation on the midnight movie circuit.

Dreams are central to the themes and structures of his work. In dreams, identity, time, and place become malleable, turning in on each other and creating startling juxtapositions. We can harness the power of dreams to solve mysteries, like Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks (1990-2017). In dreams, we can try to escape and transform who we really are, as Fred/Pete attempts through psychogenic fugue in Lost Highway (1997). Dreams can give us hope like Sandy in Blue Velvet (1986), or trap us in suffering like the Lost Girl in Inland Empire (2006).

But dreams were not just narrative and aesthetic fodder for Lynch. All of Lynch’s work — painting, sculpture, music, and film — exist in the porous borderlands between dreaming and waking life because they come from the intuitive plane. Lynch credits his meditation practice — for twenty minutes, twice a day, without fail — with putting him in touch with the universal intuition he believed hummed beneath the surface of the universe. “Life is filled with abstractions, and the only way we make heads or tails of it is through intuition. Intuition is seeing the solution—seeing it, knowing it. It’s emotion and intellect going together. That’s essential for the filmmaker,” he explained in Catching the Big Fish.

Taking in any of his unpredictable and idiosyncratic work, it’s hard to argue with the man. He allowed intuition to guide his process and his decisions, and it’s for this reason that his work cannot be explained to any logical satisfaction.

You can’t fake intuition. You can only follow it.

A Woman in Trouble

Laura Palmer is already dead when we meet her, wrapped in plastic on the shore of the river. But that doesn’t stop her from becoming one of the most captivating and perplexing women in film and television. Her depiction in Twin Peaks (1990-91), Fire Walk With Me (1992), and The Return (2017) could’ve been just a body, an object around which the plot turned, but instead grew into something more. Like many of Lynch’s women, she contains an entire universe — dark corners and hidden rooms, secrets and lies. She is riven apart by the violence of the nuclear family, and, like many of us, finds destructive outlets to cope. But even dead, or in another dimension, Lynch tells us, she can find a way to make her voice heard — a scream that tears across time.

I don’t want to give any straight man too much credit, but long before the lesbian prestige dramas of the 2010s, Lynch’s Mulholland Drive (2001) put lesbian romance on centre stage. And not some softcore pillow fight fantasy or staid period drama of unrequited yearning. He gave us Naomi Watts sobbing in a filthy apartment while she masturbates to memories of the woman she loved and was spurned by. Now that’s representation, baby!

Complicated, passionate relationships between women caught in a world marked by male violence were a frequent motif in his work — whether it be the lesbian actresses of Mulholland Drive, Laura Palmer and her many frenemies in Twin Peaks, or in Inland Empire where a kiss between women is what finally frees the dreamer from her suffering.

The Lynchian woman is not singular, but you know her when you meet her. Lynch’s camera had a empathetic eye toward women not often found in straight men’s cinema, and I think this is why women — both the actresses he worked with, and many, many women critics and audiences — connect so intensely to his characters. Like so many, I saw pieces of myself in Audrey Horne, in Alice Wakefield, in Laura Palmer. Lynch’s “women in trouble” are often constrained and exploited by their worlds, but they never felt exploitative because there was a light of compassion shining through them.

It is through women that Lynch reminds us: No matter how dark it gets, there is always the possibility for suffering to end.

Fix Your Hearts

“Anger and depression and sorrow are beautiful things in a story, but they are like poison to the artist.” — David Lynch

In his magnum opus television series, Twin Peaks, Lynch introduced audiences to Denise Bryson. When she enters the series in season two, Denise is a DEA agent who, to Agent Cooper’s surprise and delight, has recently transitioned to living as a woman. I don’t feel like parsing out the politics of a white trans woman government agent, but her portrayal by David Duchovny did bring us one of the most beloved moments in trans film history. In The Return (2017), Lynch’s own character Gordon Cole visits Denise, now FBI Chief of Staff (again, don’t ask me to go there, please! Let a girl live! It’s TV!), and delivers this monologue:

“Before you were Denise, when you were Dennis, and I was your boss, when I had you working undercover at the DEA, you were a confused and wild thing sometimes. I had enough dirt on you to fill the grand canyon. And I never used a spoonful because you were, and are, a great agent. And when you became Denise, I told all your colleagues — those clown comics — to fix their hearts or die!”

This unusual moment of allyship has become a mantra among many trans people and our friends — spawning endless memes, tattoos, and shouted refrains. Though it comes as a moment of trans acceptance on the show, this attitude is central to everything Lynch stood for, as both an artist and a spiritual philosopher. For all of the dark and sadistic elements of his work, Lynch exhorts us to always reach for the light. Forty minutes of meditation a day might not unite humanity and usher in peace, but believing that, as he did, is a brave and shining bit of optimism in a frequently bleak world.

The cultural baggage surrounding the figure of the artist revels in the idea of mental anguish, poverty, and self-torture. But in his books and lectures, Lynch always pushed back on this. You can’t create if you are suffering, he told us plainly. He referred to these afflictions playfully as the Suffocating Rubber Clown Suit of Negativity. “If you’re in that grip, you can hardly get out of bed, much less experience the flow of creativity and ideas. You must have clarity to create. You have to be able to catch ideas.”

Lynch’s vision of the Art Life hangs everything on the catching of ideas. Nothing else mattered. Anything that got in the way had to be excised. Maybe it didn’t always make him the easiest partner or parent, as he discusses in his memoir Room to Dream (2018), but it made him a singular voice of our time.

My own life and work as a writer and artist owe so much to Lynch. He taught me to keep reaching inside, to trust those inexplicable feelings within, to dedicate myself to the Art Life, and to find the light even in the darkest moments. To follow some strange wind. He urged us all to fix our hearts and live.

Bob Roth, CEO of the David Lynch Foundation, the organisation Lynch created to spread the practice of Transcendental Meditation, made a statement claiming that Lynch was meditating when he died. It’s a beautiful final image, like that of many Bodhisattvas. He went down into the universal stream of consciousness, the same way he had every day since 1973, stepped into that current, and it gently carried him away.

A light did not go out, it simply became one with a greater brightness.

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Related:

Morgan M Page

Morgan M Page is a Canadian writer, artist, and historian in London, UK. She is the co-writer of the book Boys Don't Cry and the feature film Framing Agnes.

Morgan has written 2 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. Could you site your sources for this statement: “Bob Roth, CEO of the David Lynch Foundation, the organisation Lynch created to spread the practice of Transcendental Meditation, made a statement claiming that Lynch was meditating when he died.”? There is only a single account, not owned by Bob Roth, who has posted that statement video which has no identifiers of the source of voice in the video. There are no official statements regarding Lynch meditating during his death from Bob Roth.

  2. Thanks for these words and this remembrance. I feel like this really articulated why I was so drawn to Lynch’s work as a baby gay teen/college kid.

  3. Thank you for this lovely, well-written essay, it helped ease my heart after David Lynch’s passing and also illuminated some aspects of his life for me that I didn’t know as much about. He has always been an artistic hero of mine as well, and his allyship for our community made me love him all the more.

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Quiz: Which Character From “The Birdcage” Are You?

The past few weeks I’ve had the immense pleasure of revisiting so many of my favorite movies about gay men for this list I made with Kayla and Drew, all of which have aged at various levels of goodness. So much of The Birdcage did not age well, but so much of it is simply timeless and an utter delight. Perhaps you agree. Perhaps you aspire to dress like a character on The Birdcage!

Which Character From "The Birdcage" Are You?

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3291 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. My NAME is Albert, how could you commit such a heartless oversight you cad *sobs hysterically*

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‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Episode 1703 Recap: You Reap What You Sew

They had to know it was coming. Every season there’s a sewing challenge and every season there are queens in a sudden panic at their lack of sewing ability. If you can’t afford sewing lessons or a sewing machine, at least take the hot glue gun for a spin.

After Hormona’s non-elimination, the girls are displeased. 1) No one seems to like Hormona all that much, and 2) Everyone is still concerned about being the first to go home. Kori who from the beginning declared herself Hormona’s #1 hater is especially displeased. As is Acacia who doesn’t think it’s fair that she won the lip synch but Hormona won a free trip to Vegas.

There’s even more drama because in Untucked Lana asked Joella what she thought of the performances and Joella said Lana’s song was just okay. Hormona then also comes for Joella and seems upset when Joella gives it back. I’m with the Katy Cat on this one. If you ask what someone thought, you can’t be mad when they tell the truth. When you come for someone, you can’t be mad when they have something to say in return.

It’s a new day in the work room and Kori enters holding her girlfriend Lydia. Onya thinks the judging the previous weeks was skewed by cliques and Lexi is wearing a super cute “90’s baby” shirt. This week is a Monopoly-sponsored design challenge. When the queens pick their colors, it’s turned into a game where they can steal or go to jail and get money for each property. As far as obvious product placement goes, it’s fun enough.

Design wiz Lucky is worried about having to use fabric instead of unconventional materials. Meanwhile, Suzie owns up to not being a seamstress, Onya has never made an outfit, and Joella flat-out does not sew.

Ru comes around to banter with the queens, offer some advice, and call Lydia by her middle name as much as possible. Like me, Ru has immediately grown fond of Onya which should be useful as one of the non-design queens.

She then drops off a book with how all the queens voted in Rate-a-Queen. There’s minor drama between Lydia and Sam, but for the most part outward conflict doesn’t erupt like I expected. Lana and Arriety’s alliance does become clear though.

As the queens try to finish up their outfits, Lucky is struggling to pull together her attempt at straight-forward glamor and Jewels is upset that Onya stole her trim. The biggest drama arrives when Lexi calls out Hormona for using her own stones. Hormona is pissed and I have no idea why. She saved you! You weren’t following the rules!

Arriety and Jewels have their own little gossip corner where they shit talk Acacia and then move onto Onya stealing the trim. I want all my faves to just get along! It’s more fun when people I like are fighting with people I don’t like. I’m neutral on this Onya/Jewels fight. Jewels is totally justified in being pissed that Onya asked if she was using something and then taking it anyway. But also Onya is right that she needed to do what was best for her outfit.

Two great weeks of judging panels in a row! Ts Madison is back and joined by guest judge Sandra Bernhard! A true icon.

The runway is really solid. The only outfit that’s bad is Joella’s, because it’s just a body suit with two pieces of fabric haphazardly glued on the sides. Everyone else ranges from pretty good to stunning. Arriety says she’s giving Real Housewives of Mexico City and she is HOT. Jewels also looks amazing with ruching and a cone bra. Lydia describes hers as Muppet, but I was actually surprised by how glamorous it ended up. (No offense to the Muppets who I’m sure are sometimes glamorous.)

Even the other non-sewing queens do pretty well. Onya sells her decent outfit with PERFORMANCE and Suzie is cute as a 30s devil. Lucky’s attempt at straight-forward glamor is mixed, but I actually liked her garment. It’s the wig that felt a little flat to me.

The bottom is Lucky, Joella, and Kori. The top is Arriety, Onya, and Sam. That is not the top I would’ve chosen — except Arriety duh — but I understand at this point who is top is also who the judges want a chance to speak with and critique. Onya does deserve credit for making up for traditional design skills with other talents like acting and theft.

I know I have an anti-Sam bias, but I was still surprised when she won over Arriety. I guess this is probably the challenge she was most likely to win and the producers want the winners spread out. Or I just don’t understand the achievement of construction in the garment because it’s not the style of drag I like.

Kori is safe which means it’s Joella vs. Lucky lip syncing to “The Way That You Love Me” by Paula Abdul. It’s a solid lip sync! Lucky is FIGHTING for her place and while Joella says it’s too much, I was entertained. Or maybe I just really, really didn’t want Lucky to go home first.

Alas, Lucky sashays. It really sucks, because she had an off day trying something new, but she clearly was one of the most talented — and interesting! — queens there. I hope she has a successful run on All Stars in a few years.

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ When Lexi says she’s coming for Arriety’s title as fashion girl, Arriety says, “top two!” She’s so cute and this episode officially confirmed her as my fave.

+ Kori points out all the queens who shared colors are fighting except her and Lydia. Big honeymoon phase vibes.

+ Sandra calls Arriety sexy and I AGREE SANDRA.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Arriety (and Onya and Lexi and Jewels)

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Arriety

+ Queen I want to sashay: Hormona and Sam

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 643 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. Hormona’s vibes are…terrible! There is something about her that gets under my skin. I feel for the queens who wish they’d seen the back of her. A queen needs to be wildly talented to get away with the bad vibes that Hormona is demonstrating, and wildly talented is not a phrase I would bestow upon Miss Lisa…

    Gutted for Lucky, and also for Arrietty who was str8 up robbed! Sam’s was beautiful but clearly 2nd.

  2. I’m honestly flabbergasted Crystal wasn’t in the top three!! I thought her royal blue velvet with the red wig was so chic, and she pulled off all the accessories so well, especially the headscarf and the bows. I wasn’t the biggest fan of her last week, but really i’m just mad she’s gotten nothing in the edit so far. She’s obviously multitalented, and i’d much rather root for her than against her. Agree that Arietty was robbed, but I was a huge fan of Onya’s – partially the way she sold it and mostly because i’m a sucker for old money glam.

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Reine #69: Paid Attention

a co-worker figures out their co-worker has ADHD because they left their water somewhere

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Ren Strapp

Ren Strapp is a comic artist, designer, and gender nonconforming lesbian werewolf. Her work is inspired by risograph printing and American traditional tattooing. She loves weight lifting and hiking. Support her work on Patreon.

Ren has written 71 articles for us.

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‘Harley Quinn’ Season Five Matures Alongside Its Central Couple

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are back and more perfectly imperfect than ever. Season five of the Max animated series Harley Quinn is full of wacky action, DC heroes and villains (both familiar and deep cuts), and, of course, plenty of sapphic shenanigans.

This season, we follow beloved couple “Harlivy” (voiced by Kaley Cuoco and Lake Bell respectively) as they decide to get out of what remains of Gotham City and move to Metropolis, because they feel like they’ve fallen into a rut of staying in and eating take-out in bed. Besides, their attempts at the Gotham City Sirens failed spectacularly and they really should move out of Catwoman’s house.

Harley Quinn Season 5: Harley and Ivy in bed eating junk food

I dunno I wouldn’t mind living in this supposed “rut.”

One perk of moving to Metropolis is that we get to see a lot more of two badass women who are voiced by queer actresses: Natalie Morales as Lois Lane, and Aisha Tyler as Lena Luthor. Don’t come here expecting CW Supergirl‘s Lena Luthor; this Lena Luthor is quite different (including in some very fun ways!), as is this version of Brianiac. This season we also get to see a little more of Ivy’s backstory, a locked room mystery episode, and some adventures in babysitting. There’s even a musical in one episode!

Harley Quinn Season 5: Lena Luthor speaks at a podium, Lois Lane standing behind her

No idea if Lena Luthor or Lois Lane are bi in this show but the actresses being queer is still a win to me!!

Despite how chaotic that list of events might sound, this season, as a whole, felt more cohesive in its throughline story than some of the past seasons; maybe because Harley and Ivy are more cohesive than ever. The show has all the humor and acrobatics and absurdity of the past seasons, but the show felt more settled into the overarching Brianiac storyline instead of a more villain-packed season, just like Harley and Ivy are settling into themselves and their relationship. The show is maturing with them.

Harley Quinn Season 5: Harley and Ivy in bed together

And them being on a “mature” show sure helps.

Harley and Ivy still have their own separate storylines and adventures, but they are together more than they have been in the past since they’re not working for opposing forces anymore. And, what’s been my favorite thing about this show since Harley and Ivy officially got together: Their relationship remains solid throughout. Is it always perfect? Of course not. They’re two imperfect humans (well, humans who have been genetically altered by tragic accidents) living in an imperfect world, so of course they’re going to run into hiccups along the way. Still, their problems never feel insurmountable. Neither of them are ever doing anything to intentionally harm the other; there’s no cheating, no scandals, no malicious lies. (Only the little white lies like when you say you’re okay when you’re definitely not.) At no point, no matter what was going on in the relationship, did I worry that they were about to break up. And I don’t remember the last time I had such confidence in a queer couple on television. Which makes the rest of the show so much more FUN. We’re able to relax and just enjoy the ups and downs of their relationship, and anything they face together. Just goes to show the stakes don’t need to be life or death, or even stay together or break up, for a queer couple to have interesting storylines. (Looking at you, the rest of Hollywood.)

Harley Quinn Season 5: Harley and Ivy fly through the air on aerial silks

I know these outfits are supposed to be Superman related but all I can see is Supergirl.

Harley and Ivy have some problems you and I are very likely not going to encounter in our lifetimes — space aliens trying to bottle our city, the shark child we’re babysitting trying to eat things he shouldn’t, etc — but they also have problems people outside comic book settings have. They feel stuck sometimes, they worry about losing their spark, they disagree about important things, and sometimes forget to communicate the hard things. But they get through it, together. Harley has always been the titular role, but ever since they got together in season two, the show has really been about the two of them at its core, a fact that gets more and more delightful with each passing season.

If you had asked me five years ago who one of the longest-running and least toxic queer relationships on television would be, I never would have guessed it would be these two animated, villainous babes on one of the silliest shows ever, but I’m so glad it’s true. One of the ongoing themes of this season is how futile a quest for perfection can be — and what does “perfect” even mean anyway? — but this season comes pretty darn close.


Harley Quinn is now streaming on Max.

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Valerie Anne

Valerie Anne (she/they) a TV-loving, video-game-playing nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories in all forms. While having a penchant for sci-fi, Valerie will watch anything that promises a good story, and especially if that good story is queer.

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Your Complete Guide to Women’s Basketball League Unrivaled, Which Is 50% Gay

Following the end of her rookie season with the Chicago Sky, Kamilla Cardoso returned to her native Brazil to reunite with her family and recover from the season. Cardoso’s 2024 had been a non-stop whirlwind: she was a key contributor to South Carolina’s undefeated streak and led the Gamecocks to another national title. About a week later, Cardoso was in New York, being drafted by the Sky and, soon thereafter, she’d head to training camp. An injury during the preseason would delay the start to her professional career but, once she stepped on the floor, she delivered, earning a spot on the All-Rookie Team. It had been an incredible 2024 for Cardoso and she earned every bit of the rest that awaited her in Brazil.

But that rest didn’t last long. Cardoso was home for less than a month before she hopped on a plane to China where she’s spending her off-season playing with the Shanghai Swordfish in the Women’s Chinese Basketball Association. Cardoso’s path isn’t unusual. For years, WNBA players have ventured overseas in the off-season, looking to both hone their craft and to supplement their WNBA salaries. Doing so has always come at a personal cost to players — none greater than the 2022 detainment of Brittney Griner — but for so many players, it’s been a necessity: a way to maximize their earning potential.

But maybe that’s starting to change.

In 2022, Athletes Unlimited launched its women’s basketball league, which gave 44 players — including current, former, and prospective WNBA players — the opportunity to spend their offseason stateside. Starting this weekend, WNBA players will have a second option to compete domestically during the offseason with Unrivaled.

Founded by WNBA stars Napheesa Collier and Breanna Stewart, Unrivaled is a new 3v3 league that features 36 WNBA players across six basketball clubs. The league will run for nine weeks (January 17 – March 17), starting alongside NCAA conference play, and finish just before the NCAA tournament kicks off in mid-March.

Collier and Stewart have leveraged the explosion of interest in women’s basketball to make Unrivaled into one of the well-funded women’s sports start-ups in history. Early partnerships and investment from former ESPN President John Skipper and former Turner Broadcasting President David Levy helped the new league secure a media rights deal with TNT worth an estimated $100 Million over six years. The pair exceeded fundraising projections, including investments from women’s sports luminaries like CoCo Gauff, Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe, and Dawn Staley.

But even as more partners signed on — Ally Financial, State Farm, Under Armour, etc. — Collier and Stewart have kept the focus on the players. Above all else, Unrivaled is a league for players and by players. It is providing elite facilities, including a state-of-the-art weight room, a glamour room, and content creation space. The players have access to an on-site chef and are provided two-bedroom apartments and a rental car for the duration of their stay. And, of course, the league offers players the highest average salary American women’s professional sports, plus equity in the league.

“This is what women deserve, waking up every day and just not having to worry about anything,” WNBA rookie sensation, Angel Reese, noted during her Unrivaled media availability. “I come in here. I get breakfast. I get treatment. I can come in and get in the gym anytime…I just have everything here that I need, and everybody has everything here we need.”

Perennial WNBA All-Star (and free agent) Alyssa Thomas concurred, “The whole thing is impressive. They have top-of-the-line everything. Treating us the way we are supposed to be treated.”

Before the first game has even tipped, Unrivaled is setting a new standard for players’ expectations just in time for WNBA free agency and the start of Collective Bargaining Agreement negotiations.


How Does Unrivaled Work?

So, first things first: if you’re coming to Unrivaled thinking that you understand how it’ll work because you watched the 3×3 competitions at the Tokyo and Paris Olympics, think again. Aside from the fact that there are three players on the floor at once in both formats, the two are vastly different games.

In Unrivaled, six basketball clubs — the Laces, Lunar Owls, Mist, Phantom, Rose, and Vinyl — will compete with a six-person roster (unlike the Olympics’ version which features just four players). Players were drafted to their respective teams by a selection committee, according to their position and skill, back in November. Those rosters were subsequently paired with a coach with a background in player development. Games will be played on a full-court that’s bigger than the half-court utilized by the Olympics but smaller than the full-court used by the WNBA.

Games will have three seven-minute quarters. The fourth quarter isn’t really a quarter at all; instead, it’s a race to get to the “winning score.” If, for example, the score of the game, after three quarters, is 48-43, the “winning score” becomes the higher score, plus eleven points. So, for that particular game, the first team to 59 points would be the winner.

Like its Olympic counterpart, the goal of Unrivaled 3v3 basketball is to play with pace. To that end, games will use an 18-second shot clock. The clock will only stop on made baskets in the last 30 seconds of a period. Also? If a player is fouled, they get just one foul shot…but if they were fouled on a missed two-point shot, that foul shot counts for two, and if they were fouled on a missed three, the foul shot counts for three. If a player gets the hoop and the harm, the foul shot only counts for one point.

Unrivaled’s inaugural season will run for nine weeks. The six clubs will play each other in a round-robin format, with the top-four teams advancing to the single-elimination playoffs. Mid-season (February 10-14), Unrivaled players will participate in a 1-on-1 tournament to crown the best individual player in the game. The winner of that tournament will take home quite the Valentine’s Day gift: $250,000 for themselves and an additional $10,000 for each of their 3v3 teammates.


Who All’s Gay Here in the Unrivaled Basketball League?

LACES BASKETBALL CLUB

“Big Mama Stef” Stefanie Dolson

Kate “Money” Martin

Alyssa “AT” Thomas

Tiffany “Tip” Hayes

Kayla “McBuckets” McBride


LUNAR OWLS BASKETBALL CLUB

Courtney Williams


MIST BASKETBALL CLUB

Dijonai Carrington

Jewell “Gold Mamba” Loyd

Breanna “Stewie” Stewart

Courtney “CVS” Vandersloot


PHANTOM BASKETBALL CLUB

Natasha “Tash” Cloud

Brittney “BG” Griner


ROSE BASKETBALL CLUB

Kahleah “KFC” Copper

Chelsea “Da Point Gawd” Gray

Brittany “Slim” Sykes

VINYL BASKETBALL CLUB

Arike Ogunbowale

Jordin Canada


Where Do I Watch the Unrivaled League?

Unrivaled games will take place on Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Ticket sales aren’t a huge priority for Unrivaled but there are a limited number of seats available for each game, if you’re in the Miami area. Otherwise, you can take in all the game from the comforts of home. Monday and Friday night games will air on TNT while Saturday games will be shown on TruTV. All games will also be available for streaming on Max. International viewers can follow along with the Unrivaled action on the league’s Youtube channel.

And, in case you needed another reason to watch: the studio show will feature queer basketball stars, Candace Parker and Renee Montgomery.

WEEK ONE SCHEDULE

1/17 – Mist vs. Lunar Owls – 7 PM (TNT/Max)
1/17 – Rose vs. Vinyl – 8 PM (TNT/Max)
1/18 – Phantom vs. Laces – 2 PM (TruTV/Max)
1/18 – Lunar Owls vs. Rose – 3 PM (TruTV/Max)
1/20 – Vinyl vs. Phantom – 8:30 PM (TNT/Max)
1/20 – Laces vs. Mist – 9:30 PM (TNT/Max)

If you’re interested in watching the game with other women’s basketball fans, Unrivaled has teamed up with sports bars across the country for watch parties. The participating bars: The Sports Bra (Portland, OR), Watch Me! Sports Bar (Long Beach, CA), Whiskey Girl Tavern (Chicago, IL), A Bar of Their Own (Minneapolis, MN), The 99ers Sports Bar (Denver, CO), Blue Haven South (New York, NY) and Grails (Miami, FL).


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Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 421 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. can’t wait!!! hopefully some of these w free agents get some chemistry tests with players they might wanna team up with later.

  2. If you’re not in the US, Canada, AUS/NZ, you can also watch for free on Unrivaled’s Youtube channel.

    • Thanks for the heads up, Jay. I’ve updated the post.

      Oddly enough: I checked out Unrivaled’s Youtube during Friday night’s opening games and the stream worked for me as well. Not sure if it’ll stay accessible for US-based viewers, but if you’re a cord cutter without access to Max, it’s worth checking out as well.

  3. im not on social media or anything so this is how i found out about unrivaled and im already hooked! tyy

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LA Lesbian Bar Ruby Fruit Is Fighting For Its Survival. We Really Need It To Win.

Over the weekend, as wildfires raged across Los Angeles, Silver Lake’s sapphic wine bar The Ruby Fruit announced on Instagram that it would be closing its doors. “We have come to the heartbreaking decision that at this time, operating The Ruby Fruit is no longer possible due to financial impact from the current natural disaster,” the caption read. Every day counts in the restaurant industry, and just a short closure period had irreparably hurt their scrappy operation. “The math just isn’t mathing.”

The announcement was jarringly at odds with the experience of going there; mainly, that it was usually packed. The comment section reflected this vibe: their followers were shocked, and many begged for the chance to set up a GoFundMe to save the bar.

On Wednesday, January 14th, after a few days trying to schedule an interview with owners Emily Bielagus and Mara Herbkersman for this piece, they shared a statement indicating a shift of plans: “After much reflection and careful consideration, we are announcing the indefinite, but hopefully temporary, closure of The Ruby Fruit. This extremely difficult and heart wrenching decision comes as a result of the financial strain and operational challenges we’ve faced since our opening in 2023, which are now augmented by the recent fires in LA.”

They declared an intention to “regroup, reassess and come back stronger” in order to move forward. “Our focus is currently on supporting our FOH & BOH staff,” they wrote, “offering support to the community, tending to our physical and mental health, and ensuring that the future of The Ruby Fruit is as stable as possible.”

I hopped on a quick call with Emily and asked about the offers of help from patrons, but it was clear their regrouping plan doesn’t involve a crowdfunding campaign. “There are so many critical needs that people can address with their money right now and we really just don’t want to divert any of those funds,” Emily told me. One of those critical needs was the GoFundMe she pointed me towards, established to support their employees during this period of uncertainty.

The Ruby Fruit interior

The Ruby Fruit // Jessie Clapp

To understand why The Ruby Fruit matters, and why this potential second chance means so much to their community, you first have to understand LA and you have to understand the scarcity of lesbian bars nationwide.

First, the latter: there are only 37 lesbian bars left in the country, down from over 200 in 1980. There are heaps of theories about why it’s so hard for lesbian bars to stay open — a decline in demand as mixed-orientation spaces are more queer-friendly, because queer women don’t party like gay men do. But the explanation that feels truest to me is the most simple one: systemic financial inequality that favors men.

About Los Angeles: even before the fires, the past couple of years have been challenging and humbling. The whole world struggled through the pandemic, of course. The entertainment industry strikes of 2023 were also hard on the city, compounded by tightened budgets already sending more and more production out of state. From afar, people tend to think of LA as a superficial, polished, entertainment-obsessed place, full of self-centered rich people who don’t have real problems, and there definitely is some of that. But since the wildfires broke out in LA last week, this city has shown the world what many residents already knew, especially through the tight spots of the last few years — it’s a diverse city full of people who crave community and of neighbors ready to literally save each other. Through our grief and our fear we are all turning to each other in love and concern.

But when I first moved to LA, I felt lost, close to falling through its beautiful cracks. My wife and I settled in Silver Lake; a lush, hilly neighborhood on the east side so teeming with queers it’s easy to forget how important it is that we actually have specific spaces within that neighborhood dedicated to us. It’s hard to make friends as an adult anywhere, but it’s especially hard in a city that sprawls, that doesn’t have a lot of public transportation or third spaces where people talk to you. And then once you do start talking to people, it’s hard to know which friendships will last. When I got here, other than my wife, I had one very close friend. Otherwise I had a foot in many different doors, so for a while I kept meeting people from separate worlds, and struggled to feel like there was any sort of centralized community or group of friends I could fold into. Someone told me that if you’re not intentional with your social life in LA, it can turn into a series of one-on-one coffee dates with people you never hear from again. That rang true.

Plus, I felt guilty about feeling lonely in LA, like the sunshine and the palm trees and the hot pink bougainvillea and the A-list celebrities at the overpriced coffee shop were rolling their eyes at me as I cried a single pathetic tear on my stupid little morning walk around the reservoir, as if to say—you’re feeling sad and alone here? This most stunning place on earth?

And then—in 2023, a lesbian wine bar opened in an unassuming strip mall walking distance from my house, and something shifted.

I didn’t know about the opening night party, but I saw the photos the next day, a launch that spilled out the door with people lit gorgeously in the parking lot’s flood light, drinking and laughing in little clusters. An L Word fever dream. It even made national news. “The Lesbian Bar Isn’t Dead,” declared the New York Times headline, “It’s Pouring Orange Wine in Los Angeles.” Condé Nast Traveler: “Each Night is a Sapphic Street Party at The Ruby Fruit in Los Angeles.” I couldn’t remember the last time a lesbian bar (or, a lesbian anything?) had gotten so much high-profile press.

So my wife and I and two friends went, ASAP. And it was packed. Queer people huddled close to each other around little wooden tables drinking murky-hued wine out of tiny glasses. There were poreless Gen Zs with mullets, graying butches making their dates laugh, and carabiners everywhere, just so many keys dangling from beltloops. Everyone was talking and the windows were starting to fog. The couple we went with happened to be friends with Emily, and she cobbled together a little nook for us, squeezing us in.

Owners of Ruby Fruit outside the bae

Owners Emily Bielagus and Mara Herbkersman

The Ruby Fruit, when it’s open, is a dimly lit, cozy wine bar/restaurant where the vegan hot dogs are actually good and so is the rest of the menu. It’s a neighborhood lesbian bar that seems to say, our community deserves something really chic and elevated. If you want a messier, wilder night, you can go to a different gay bar and have a great time. If you want to eat a nice, dietary-restrictions-friendly meal with your friends/your date surrounded by other queers and still make your 9pm bedtime, The Ruby Fruit is for you.The bathroom is Indigo Girls-themed and outside it there’s a bulletin board where people left their numbers and notes for each other. You are as likely to see a famous bisexual from your favorite TV show as you were to see an ex you hadn’t thought of in a decade. It attracts a diverse, intergenerational crowd. You can get dressed up or you could go in sweatpants.

Listen: I’m not saying The Ruby Fruit is perfect. Those little wooden stools always make my back go into spasm and I never manage to spend less than $75 on cloudy wine and olives and fries. Dykes like to glare at each other across the room, that kind of undefinable does-she-want-to-fuck-me-or-does-she-hate-me look. When it was open, the space often didn’t feel big enough for the demand, and they didn’t take reservations, which made going feel like a gamble on weekends. You always had to have a back-up plan, where to go for dinner if you couldn’t get a table.

And you know what? I love it all the same.

It was like a sitcom fantasy of what adulthood would be like in a big city. As author and Silver Lake local Celia Laskey put it, “A sapphic bar walking distance to my apartment that opened shortly before my separation from my wife? Yeah, I was there like every week. It was my Cheers, where everybody knows your name.”

a group of queers outside a lesbian bar

The author (in the long grey dress, third from right) in the Ruby Fruit parking lot’s “perfect flood lighting.”

My best memories of gay bars — like Cubbyhole and Ginger’s in New York — are of being so packed in like sardines that you have no choice but to talk to the girl next to you, and I worried that Rubyfruit’s cafe-style seating would mean no intermingling. But that wasn’t the case. We were often striking up conversations with the people sitting next to us or with people standing outside.

Because even the outside is nice; on the sidewalk, there’s a bar and stools and plants. Landscape designer Angela Huerta made custom wooden planters spilling over with lush green succulents for the bar’s front. “I decided last year that instead of dreading my birthday, I’d serve others and make my friends labor for me as a gift,” she told me. “So we made these four rolling planters. I raised a little money and supplemented it with my own money.”

As LA resident Jennifer Perlmutter told me, “Ruby Fruit was the place I walked to nightly when I first moved back to Los Angeles post-breakup. I would sit at the counter, indoors or out, and read a book. The staff was always more than friendly, they were conversational, and kind. They made it known that this place was more than a bar, it was a community.”

It also isn’t just a bar. They were open for lunch and sometimes my writer friends and I would go with the aim of working and instead spend the whole time talking to each other, laptops open but screens black.

breakfast food

breakfast at the ruby fruit

The thing about having a community hub, a place you return to again and again, is that it makes the city feel smaller. You start to run into the same people; you realize that friends you’ve made from totally different parts of your life already know each other— that we’re all more interconnected than we feel. Suddenly, sprawling LA felt like it had a center.

In April of 2024, The Roob, as people started calling it, took over the lease of the dentist office next door, cleverly named The Dental Dam. There, they were just starting to hold all kinds of events; parties and meet-ups and book clubs. At group readings like Empty Trash, hosted by authors Jen Winston and Greg Mania, you could hear a best-selling queer author read her unpublished work. Jen described the Dental Dam as “a space so magical it was almost futuristic—somehow both ahead of its time and right on time.”

I’ve participated in literary events at myriad LA locations — it’s rare to be able to count on anyone coming to anything at all. But it was different at the Roob’s new space. “You could hold an event there and people would just show up to hang out,” said writer Elizabeth Teets, who runs the reading series I Blame Television, where I once got to read an impassioned plea for a lesbian season of Love is Blind.

The Week at The Ruby Fruit

The Ruby Fruit’s last weekly event calendar

At this point you’d think we’d be used to the disappointment of a beloved queer space closing, but the thought of losing the Ruby Fruit permanently is landing in a different way. After all, unlike the smaller, dive-ier bars of yore, they had so much press. They had so many famous patrons. They were so often at capacity. The food was not cheap! And we still ordered it! En masse! If a lesbian bar like that can’t stay open, what can?

We won’t really feel the effects of its absence until things start to feel normal again in LA, if they ever do, after the fires are put out and the dangerous winds have settled. To Emily’s point, there are more urgent things happening in the city; so many people who have lost everything.

In the meantime, Honey’s, which opened in East Hollywood around the same time as The Ruby Fruit, is now the only open sapphic bar in LA. Honey’s and The Ruby Fruit fulfill different needs: Honey’s is less of a sit-down eatery, more of a speakeasy lounge with a hip party vibe. Other lesbian bars around the country have announced a fundraiser to help it stay open.

Perhaps the outpouring of support The Ruby Fruit garnered since their announcement has attracted interest from more sustainable funding sources. Or maybe like so many humans and businesses in this city, they’re not saying goodbye forever but rather simply pausing as the city itself figures out a new identity in the wake of disaster, and as other financial models present themselves—models that are more suitable to our new reality of climate disasters that upend daily life with increasing frequency.

I’m reminded of the seed drive currently happening for Altadena to replace the native plants that were lost. If we can come together to rewild burned land, surely we can find a way to reopen what to many felt the heart of something bigger than all of us.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Gabrielle Korn

Gabrielle Korn is a writer living in Los Angeles with her wife and dog.

Gabrielle has written 96 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. I’m in Texas and you’ve made me want to come to California to frequent this space! We only have one real lesbian hang where I am so I understand the impact this place has had on you since its opening and also what the idea of it closing can mean for you. I’m hoping they find a way to keep this space open. It sounds like a big mood and I’d love to visit it one day soon.

  2. You mentioned there were systemic reasons for lesbian bars not faring as well, but then never went back to that topic. Bars and restaurants are truly impossible miracles when they survive, but most of those places aren’t busy. Seems like it was an operations issue?

  3. Quite frankly the reason bars are not thriving is because they have gotten terribly expensive. Who can afford to spend $50-100 on a night out in this economy? Not to mention the crowds. Most I know would rather stay home and watch Netflix than battle the crowds.

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My High School Bully Is Happier Than Me

I fantasize about exposing her and getting her cancelled.
Q
A girl who lightly bullied me for being gay in high school came out as an adult and is now I think trying to be an influencer. She got married last year, she has a beautiful home and they clearly have money. She does GRWMs.I just went through a bad breakup and am living with my parents and I spend way too much time stalking her on social media and simmering with bitterness. I fantasize about exposing her and getting her cancelled even though she’s not even popular enough to get cancelled, and it’s not like I want her to be popular, and I don’t even believe in cancelling people as a practice! Why am I doing this to myself and how can I stop?
A
Summer: You might be doing this to your...

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Every Post By My Hacker Ranked By How Likely I Would Have Posted It

On Christmas, I received an unfortunate present. As I emerged from a Babygirl rewatch, I looked at my phone and saw a dozen text messages from friends and acquaintances informing me my Instagram had been hacked. I’d also been kicked out of the app and had an email informing me the email attached to my account had changed. Click this link if you didn’t make this change. I clicked the link and it took me to a vague FAQ page that was not helpful. Despite controlling so much of our online life, Meta does not have a customer service line and they don’t respond to customer service emails. As the hacker moved from story to grid to a full makeover of my account, the texts continued, often sharing screenshots of the hackers handiwork. Thankfully, what the hacker had in hacking skills, they lacked in creative writing skills. That is to say even before the name change very few people suspected it was actually me posting these things. I got my account back thanks to weeks of effort from someone I know at Meta — it was challenging even for her! Meta sucks and not just because of the transphobia! — and to celebrate I’d like to rank the hacker’s posts based on how likely I actually would have posted them. Just for future reference to save anyone any confusion! Also learn from my mistake: Turn on two-factor authentication using an authenticator app. Right now.

9.

A screenshot of an Instagram story of a bank balance

Where to even begin? First of all, I may have gotten hacked, but I’m not stupid enough to post a screenshot that has the last four digits of my bank account. Second of all, thank you to MYSELF?? I might be a Leo rising, but I keep that level of ego private. Third, I just can’t imagine ever having a financial coach, because fourth, a profit of $20,000 in two hours?? The only smart financial choice I’ve ever made was living in my friends’ garage during Covid and I still paid $600 a month/got an eye infection.

8.

A screenshot of a story that's a screenshot of DMs of someone sending a screenshot of a bank statement thanking the person Many of the same issues here, but I do enjoy expressing gratitude both in DMs and publicly. Not sure I’ve ever used the 100 emoji except as a Slack reaction though.

7.

A screenshot from a story: I'm very grateful for this Coach, thank you a lot. I appreciate your work because you are an honest person 100 Finally some subtlety. If I ever thank a financial coach for helping me earn $20,000 in two hours, I will post something more along the lines of this. Obsessed with them calling this fictional financial advisor an honest person as if anyone reading would go: This can’t be a scam! She’s an honest person! 100% fool-proof plan. 100.

6.

A screenshot of an Instagram bio for claireegregory that says entrepreneur. I’m more likely to change my name to Claire than to ever identify as an entrepreneur, but I’m unlikely to do either. I’m sorry if your name is Claire Gregory, but that doesn’t flow at all?? Also I’m not sure I’ve ever empowered a mind and I’ve definitely never mastered any markets. Points for still saying filmmaker, theatremaker, and writer. Points off for spelling “wealth” wrong.

5.

Screenshot from Instagram of a woman showing her but in a tight red dress with the text: claireegregory Did you miss me? Here's 3 + 1 of me Been away from social media for almost a year, travelling and exploring beautiful places near and far. I have contemplated posting the things I've been up to, but just the thought of it would give me the maddest anxiety and it's taken me almost a month to press post haha. Expect a backlog of my 2024! Some of you know I quit working a year ago because I felt lost and no longer knew what I wanted from life. It's been a tough couple of years in my personal life. I needed time to figure out this new version of myself and would love to share my journey once I'm healed and ready. For now, here's some festive pics you fabulous humans Shoutout to the woman playing the role of Claire who almost certainly wasn’t the hacker but just someone whose pictures the hacker was using. Like “Claire” I love Christmas and I would post a series of photos in a tight dress. The caption is where things go wrong. Away from social media for A YEAR? I didn’t have my Instagram for three weeks and I was dying. I’ve also never once not known what I wanted from life. I do have mad anxiety though.

4.

A screenshot of an Instgram post of a Mercedes with the text: Picked up my new baby today ( congratulations to myself on my new ride guys, glad I could do it. All thanks to @_clairebenji for your patience and guidance, you're the best. The post that launched a thousand texts. I received more messages about whether I was hacked/bought a car than I did on my birthday. I famously didn’t even have a car when I LIVED IN LOS ANGELES so the chances of me buying a car are slim let alone a Mercedes. If I did ever get a Mercedes, chances are even slimmer I’d refer to it as my baby. Also thanks to @_clairebenji for your patience? Didn’t it only take two hours? (Hacker loves the name Claire though got to give them that.)

3.

A photo of a woman in front of a Dior store with the caption Is it too late for festive pics? I took this screenshot after getting my Instagram back, but this was posted while the account was run by Claire. It’s too bad because we’re finally starting to get some realism. No, I probably wouldn’t pose in front of Dior or Ralph Lauren but I would post a swipe through of four hot pictures with a simple caption. In fact, maybe I’ll reuse this caption when I finally post my NYE photos.

2.

A screenshot of Mark Wahlberg's instagram account blocked. Once people started calling out the hacker for being a hacker, they started blocking. Once I got my account back I scrolled through the blocked accounts to unblock all my friends and strangers and even my partner who this person had blocked. Among these accounts was none other than Mark Wahlberg. No, I never followed him and no, he never followed me. The hacker just chose to block Mark Wahlberg on Claire Gregory’s account?? Please share your theories, because the only two I have are 1) Mark Wahlberg hunts down Instagram hackers in addition to owning a fast food chain, acting in Mel Gibson movies, and trying to get people not to Google his past, and 2) The hacker was scrolling around on this account, followed Mark Wahlberg, and then got so annoyed about something he posted that they blocked him. Either theory is hilarious and in honor of my hacker I’m gonna leave Marky Mark blocked, because it does seem like something I might have done anyway.

1.

A screenshot of a girl holding a puppy with the text Stop growing so fast Who cares about a Mercedes? The only time I felt truly jealous of my fictional alter-ego was when Claire posted her puppy. I want a dog so badly!!!!!!!! And this one is so cute!!!!!!! Alas, I still cannot afford to get a dog right now. Wait… does anyone know a good financial advisor who could help me make $20,000 in two hours?
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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 643 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. loved gretchen asking me out of nowhere DID DREW GET A MERCEDES and i was like absolutely not, checked your insta and was like uh-oh. i do wish you got a puppy though. i want that for you as well as the $20k.

  2. Eek.
    Two-factor authentication engaged !

    I wouldn’t have your patience nor your fantastic humour to turn this around. They obvs didn’t know whomst they were dealing with.

  3. The financial advisor’s tag is @coachsarah but in the dm they call her coach Sophia. I know that if you were thanking your financial advisor you’d get their name right! Lol

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