Having an hour a week devoted to being listened to can lend itself to a misdirection of feelings. It’s easy to dismiss this as a harmless crush, but it can easily spiral out into an obsession that takes away from the real work that needs to be done.
What would it feel like to move forward with curiosity, rather than relying on the comforting familiarity of self-doubt?
If you are out to your friend, or are thinking of coming out to her, and she still holds fast to her SWERF-y beliefs even after you explain how it hurts you, then you have one final choice to make: Stay, or go.
“Release yourself from responsibility. You are not the keeper of your partner’s orgasms. You’re a supporting character. Your partner should play the protagonist in their Great Orgasm Quest.”
What kinda of things are okay to expect from therapy? Should I switch therapists?
“I want to be supportive and happy for her about this new relationship, but instead I have found myself feeling jealous and bitter. It has become increasingly painful for me to see her relationship progress.”
Make sure to be kind and generous to yourself, give yourself plenty of time to process all of these important feelings, and don’t rush it!
No matter what happens, this is a firm truth: You deserve to be seen, affirmed, and loved for exactly who you are.
You’re in luck — kinky sex requires nothing but two (or more) bodies and a little imagination.
You may have to drop some cash for a toy that will last for more than one thrust.
Possibly your trauma history is being triggered out of context in this relationship – but maybe it’s not. YOU are the expert, no matter what your trauma history is.
“How can I help her feel confident and in the mood again without sacrificing any more of myself?”
Doing something positive for the world is a constantly moving target.
First of all: Clean your sex toys! Also: homophobia at your day job, supporting your friend when they leave an abusive relationship, and how to start dating when… you’ve absolutely never dated before.
“Sometimes, when we allow ourselves to open a door, to open a possibility, the weight of that possibility and that choice is damn heavy – and overwhelming.”
You don’t need to measure up to any of the things you’ve been taught are the “right” ways to be as a sexual being. There is no way to do sexuality “right” by any objective, external standard.
Our fundraiser perk super special You Need Help is here!
This Month: Proper protocol for casual sex with strangers, combating internalized fatphobia, lots of trans feelings, and how to apologize when its 100% your fault. Plus, what to do when it’s time to divorce him and come out already!
“I have recently grown attracted to someone who is older than me. Not too much older, but enough to make me question where I’m coming from.”
Highlights include: going down while wearing a nose ring, surviving the United States as a queer immigrant, living on the same college campus as your ex, and also how to perfectly time your break up. That’s just the beginning!