It becomes increasingly difficult to ask individuals to make huge personal sacrifices, at great cost, when it is clear the government is doing almost nothing to move us toward a different world.
Time won’t necessarily “fix” it, but the more distance you have from the relationship and the more time you invest in healthy coping mechanisms, the less destabilizing these thoughts will feel.
“Here is the good news—your best friend does have a therapist! Here is the bad news—that therapist is you!”
Part of decentering romantic relationships from our lives, part of being independent, part of seeking a kind of individuality that cisheteropatriarchy denies, has to include removing a value judgement from these very things.
You owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest.
My family is part of the problem, but if I choose to just ignore this fact, do I become part of the problem too?
If you use this opportunity to sharpen your communication, your dynamic will be stronger (and hotter) on the other side of a crisis.
Why does gay male sex turn you on if you’re a lesbian and is it okay? Plus, conflicting ideas about isolating & dating during quarantine, cheering up your partner over long distance, parents and mental health and Covid-19, SO MANY mixed signals from your ex wife who’s in another relationship and…should you fuck your boss?!?!?! Things are a mess out there, but at least we have each other and 26 questions from readers like you!
Your rawness and tenderness is a primal signal that you are alive. It’s exhausting and there’s no way to turn it off. Let yourself breathe through this, and trust that it is not a waste of time to devote your energy to the work of becoming.
There’s who you’re physically/romantically attracted to, and then there’s who you want to date, and then there’s who you want to sleep with — and all of these can be different things, all of which can also change! Yet we’re expected to align under a single label.
Closure is a choice — often one you have to make on your own. And it’s absolutely okay to not be friends with an ex.
Help! Your girlfriend is quarantined three hours away, your roommate’s partner moved into the apartment during the shut down without your consent, dying your hair before that next work Zoom call, handling an overwhelming group chat, and what to do when you are so alone!
Betrayal burrows into brains. When cheating comes to light, there’s a tendency to obsess over the minute details. You’ll replay things in your head, wonder how they were able to get away with certain things, and sometimes even be hard on yourself for it.
During a time like this, the impulse to want your ex is like the impulse some may have to want their mom. It’s carnal.
Self-isolation is forcing all of us to reflect. Maybe that’s not so bad.
Recovering after being ghosted, dealing with queer tokenism, knowing if you’re a top or a bottom, straight people are STILL not ok, and did that organizer ask you for an organizing coffee or a COFFEE coffee??
More than a few people have been tempted to reach out to their ex as social distancing measures have ramped up. More than a few have acted on that temptation. That impulse might be coming from the right place, but, friends, it’s time to knock if off.
Moving in with a former sweetie might sound cute, queer and emotionally mature, but you better have a very good reason to take on the challenge.
“Should I initiate a conversation with them about our relationship to see if they want more than a friendship? I’m afraid of embarrassing myself/making it awkward/losing the friendship.”
Want help diagnosing your sick plant? Curious about houseplant pests? Just wanna talk about your favorite plants? What about sharing a PLANT SELFIE?