Things I’ve Never Asked My Girlfriend of Three Years About Age Gaps, Topping, and Our First Date

Welcome to part two of my two-hour conversation with my girlfriend, bestselling author Kristen Arnett, during which I asked her questions I genuinely did not know the answers to! In part one, we covered childhood and teen years, and she explained scrambled porn to me, which definitely ties into one of the topics we touch on in this second half of the interview: our age gap. In fact, we're talking all things our relationship, from its origins, to our first official date, to our specific top/bottom dynamics, to the writer4writer of it all. Yep, we got very personal!

Kayla: Let's fast forward to our relationship. We met online, and I feel most people know that about us. It's like the-

Kristen: I think it's part of the legend.

Kayla: The legend. You reached out to me on Valentine's day.

Kristen: Yes.

Kayla: And you were drunk and-

Kristen: Shockingly.

Kayla: I know that story well, and I feel like people know that story well, but I actually don't know like, what we...

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Miami. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 394 articles for us.