Things I’ve Never Asked My Girlfriend of Three Years About Age Gaps, Topping, and Our First Date

Welcome to part two of my two-hour conversation with my girlfriend, bestselling author Kristen Arnett, during which I asked her questions I genuinely did not know the answers to! In part one, we covered childhood and teen years, and she explained scrambled porn to me, which definitely ties into one of the topics we touch on in this second half of the interview: our age gap. In fact, we're talking all things our relationship, from its origins, to our first official date, to our specific top/bottom dynamics, to the writer4writer of it all. Yep, we got very personal!

Kayla: Let's fast forward to our relationship. We met online, and I feel most people know that about us. It's like the-

Kristen: I think it's part of the legend.


You've Reached A+ Content!

Autostraddle cannot survive without reader support. That's why we have our A+ Member program and A+ content like this, as thanks to readers like you who keep Autostraddle here for our whole community. Will you join A+?

A+ members keep this site majority free-to-read, so sometimes we have bonus content for members as thanks! A+ membership starts at just $4/month or $30/year. If you can, will you join? You get access to bonus content like this post, insider information, behind-the-scenes laughs, and the singular satisfaction of knowing you’re helping to pay it forward for other readers and that you're keeping this bastion of queerness on the internet here for everyone.

99% of our readers do not support. That means that less than 1% of our readers are keeping this site running. Will YOU be one of the people who helps to keep this indie queer media site here for everyone?

We don't need one person to do it all, we need many people each doing a part. Every member makes a difference!

Join A+ Today!

Already a member? Sign in

Before you go! It costs money to make indie queer media, and frankly, we need more members to survive 2023As thanks for LITERALLY keeping us alive, A+ members get access to bonus content, extra Saturday puzzles, and more! Will you join? Cancel anytime.

Join A+!

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Miami. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 474 articles for us.