“Thyme goes by so slowly, and thyme can do so much.”

“My girlfriend has been calling me the Christmas Switch for a year now.”

“So the woman who kills Terminators in her spare time is afraid to tell her parents she’s dating Kristen Stewart?”

Listen, sometimes we all enjoy gay male mermaids.

“I rate this article 69/69!”

“I never expected to hear anyone describe the ‘Thong Song’ as healing! I’m delighted!”

“She had me at ‘OI! DEAD BOYFRIEND! IT’S OVER, MATE!'”

“As a thick butch, I love this thick butch content!”

“I can confirm that it turns up when you search for lesbians on Netflix, but it does not turn up when you shout ‘LESBIANS!’ at your Roku remote.”

“I too have attracted more quality human beings since I came out. Also quality cats and dogs but I am not sure it’s related.”

“‘Tank Girl’ prepared me for living in queer punk houses & having no running water. Lori Petty forever.”

“Lesbian tennis elbow is real…and not just for tennis enthusiasts.”

“Three seasons of watching Niecy Nash in those jumpsuits on ‘Claws,’ I feel like I willed this into existence.”

“The world needs an all-queer band of string players called Homosexually Charged Violins now more than ever.”

“Oh, and the sex, obviously.”