Coming Out 101: The Autostraddle Guide

Happy National Coming Out Day Weekend! If you’re getting ready to come out (or not) or to support somebody who is (or isn’t) coming out tomorrow, we’ve got so much reading for you to chomp right into.


Personal Essays About Coming Out as Lesbian, Bisexual or Queer

Mastering the Art of Coming Out (and Making Lobster Bisque)

Coming Out As An Amorphous Weirdo

Netflix Outed Me: “Gay & Lesbian Movies” Was My Smoking Gun

How To Leave Your Husband (Because You’re a Lesbian)

Loving the Whole Me: A Bisexual Mom on Coming Out to Her Family

Estranged: How I Fell In Love With A Girl And Lost My Family

Coming Out To 50 People At Once Was So Much Easier Than Doing It One-on-One

Dear Queer Diary: Coming Out on Paper

Personal Essays About Coming Out as Transgender

“And I Do Mean All My Life”: A Trans* Coming Out Letter

Disowned: When Coming Out Doesn’t Go As Planned


Personal Essays About Not Coming Out:

A Fragile Dance: Queer Brown Futures (Or Lack Thereof)

You Don’t Have To Come Out On Thanksgiving: On Going Home and Being Quiet

On Faith And Gender, Or Why I Dress Like A Man On Fridays

Making a Home in the Closet

Impossible Machinery: On (Not) Coming Out to My Dad as Bisexual


Coming Out Advice

You Need Help: Coming Out When Your Girlfriend Is Amazing but Your Family Super Isn’t

9 Tips for Coming Out to Your African Family in 2017

Fool’s Journey: Moving Beyond a Difficult Coming Out Experience

You Need Help: How to Navigate Disabled Kids Coming Out

The 11 Best Holidays For Coming Out To Your Family and Friends

You Need Help: I Came Out To My Mom (Again) And You Can, Too

You Need Help: What’s My Label?

You Need Help: Coming Out In Your Mid/Late 20s

10 Tips For Surviving Your First Family Holiday After Coming Out

You Need Help: You’re Getting Married, Grandma Doesn’t Know

Y’All Need Help: Quick and Unprofessional Advice for Queers Who Need It

You Need Help: Where Do I Go From Here

5 Tips On Dating a Girl Who Is Only Kinda Sorta Maybe Out To Her Family And Friends

Fool’s Journey: Moving Beyond a Difficult Coming Out Experience

You Need Help: You Fell In Love With A Girl and It’s Exploding Your Whole Life

Straight Allies: Every Little Bit Helps

How I Came Out to My Evangelical Christian Parents And You Can, Too

Coming Out at Work: What a Way To Make a Living


Pop Culture Stories About Coming Out

To read the archive of posts written about celebrities coming out, click here: this is a coming out post.

A Tale Of Two Ellens

Cracking the Coming Out Code

Rosa Diaz’s Big Coming Out on “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” Was Bittersweet — and Specifically Bisexual

16 Iconic Coming Out Moments to Celebrate on National Coming Out Day

Jodie Foster Coming Out: “This Is Something For Us.”

Michelle Rodriguez Coming Out Bisexual Is A Big Deal

People in Glass Closets: Anderson Cooper and Straight Responses to Coming Out

9 Famous Queer Ladies Who Figured it Out A Little Later


Coming Out Open Threads and Roundtables

Becoming Visible: On Coming Out As Bisexual

Coming Out: Yet Another Roundtable

Roundtable: On Coming Out In Our Applications, Interviews, and Lives

It’s National Coming Out Day and We’re Thinking of You

OPEN THREAD: Coming Out In The Sciences, Let’s Discuss!

National Coming Out Day OPEN THREAD: The Good, The Funny, The Awkward

Coming Out to Your Friends: The Autostraddle Roundtable

National Coming Out Day OPEN THREAD Wants To Hear Your Stories

Etc:

Lori Lindsey, USWNT Dark Horse: The Autostraddle Coming Out Interview

More Than Words: Coming Out Party

“This Is A Book For The Parents Of Gay Kids”: A Coming Out Conversation with Bruce and Phyllis

National Coming Out Day Listling Without Commentary: Selections From Your Coming Out Stories

26 Fantastic Excerpts From Your Coming Out Stories

Riese is the 38-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2843 articles for us.

36 Comments

  1. Riese I am all-caps DEVASTATED that this list does not include my two all-time fave AS coming out posts:
    1. Krisily Kennedy Bisexual
    2. Patricia Velazquez and her Parisian pastries

    I understand they have probably not been included because they are of niche interest, but as I exist only for niche interest I’m taking this as a personal affront.

  2. Well I just went down a rabbit hole! Great compilation and great articles, Autostraddle. I only started reading about 4 years ago, and this site has been around longer than I thought!

    I’m out to close friends & some family. It’s a hard call sometimes about who to come out to and when. But I’m happy that I’m able to be out to who I am out to, and that I can be myself now that I’ve realized I’m bi :)

  3. I’ve barely come out to anyone as bi or asexual, certainly not family. With work, it’s on my electronic appraisal that I’m bi, but I don’t know if anyone ever looks at that. If I was ever going to be in a relationship it might be different, but I don’t really have friends and I don’t like/care enough about my co workers for the most part to want to let them know.

    At the end of the day, I know and that is all that matters to me.

  4. I did it, I did the thing, yesterday, on Facebook, for the whole goddamn world to see, and it was so scary I rate-limited myself to only checking FB once an hour, even though everyone was wonderful. SO SCARY! But it was all okay!

  5. I came out 11 years ago to my mom, and we never talk about it. She knows that I’m gay (she knew when I came out to her), but we never have any conversations, or even mentions of me being a human being who dates. I’ve never had a girlfriend to bring home, so if/when that happens, it may finally start a conversation, but I honestly don’t feel any freer or more liberated after all these years…thanks, mom.

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