National Coming Out Day OPEN THREAD Wants To Hear Your Stories

I came out seven years ago and it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. I was eighteen and dating my first girlfriend. Out of the blue, my mom asked me if she more than just a friend. I cried a lot. She was only upset that I didn’t tell her sooner. I let her tell my family and I am so, so lucky and grateful to have a loving and accepting support system in my life.

I was really scared to tell my friends, because there were a lot of rumors about my sexuality in high school. I denied the rumors constantly because I couldn’t even admit to myself that I was a lesbian even though I was kissing girls since I was six (my first kiss was in a closet! the symbolism!). The hardest part of coming out for me was admitting it to myself. It’s scary. Maybe this day could be that day for you. When I told my three closest friends, two of them said “We know and we don’t care” and one of them wrote me a long letter about how sad she was that I was going to hell. She has since come around and has apologized for the letter. Maybe things are bad when you come out, but maybe they will get better in time.

The most important part about coming out is showing people who might not know any LGBTQI people that we are human beings capable of love and deserving of rights.

Coming out stories are often scary, but sometimes funny and typically awkward. Two years ago, some Autostraddle writers shared their stories, which ranged from Taylor‘s really awkward mom moment, “And then, as though she was possessed suddenly by some sapphic demon whose realm was twentysomething nostalgia, my mom came pouring out with this entire sense-memory-ridden stream-of-consciousness tidal wave about her very close friend in college” to Laura‘s super funny teacher, “…When I used an adjective with a feminine ending, my teacher corrected me saying “no, make sure your nouns and adjectives agree.” I said “I know” and she started to explain again but then it hit her that I wasn’t stupid, just gay.Crystal‘s mom’s reaction is eerily similar to how my mom took the news, “Oh. Okay. Do you need to talk about your … [super awkward pause] … feelings?

How did you come out and what changed after you did? Are you going to come out to your family today or maybe you just wish you could come out to your boss but it isn’t safe to do so? Share your stories in this open thread!

Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And support from readers like you keeps the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers do not support. Autostraddle is fundraising right now to keep our site funded through January 2022. Will you join our community of readers in helping to keep us around?

Hansen is the former DIY & Food Editor of Autostraddle.com and likes to spend most days making and cooking and writing. She teaches creative writing at Colorado State University and is pursuing a Masters of Fine Arts in her free time.

Hansen has written 189 articles for us.

208 Comments

  1. I’ve been out to my friends for five years. I decided yesterday that I would tell my parents. Thus, the following conversation:

    Me: Mom, you know those literary magazine meetings I say I go to every thursday night?
    Mom: Yes…
    Me: they aren’t really literary magazine meetings. I’m going to the Queer Women’s Collective because I like girls…
    Mom: Is this a joke?
    Me: No.
    Mom: oh…oh…okay. How did you know?
    Me: ummmm, I don’t know.
    Mom: then how can you tell?
    Me: would it be better if I just said I think I’m queer?
    Mom: as long as you stop using the word queer, then it’s fine.
    Me: okay.

    We haven’t talked about it since. It’s not awkward, but it’s just obviously there. Not an elephant in the room, but a rather tall giraffe.
    Plus, I don’t like using the word gay, because I identify queer, so now I feel a bit strange, and I don’t want to drop it on my mom that I’m grey-a either (which kind of works with the I don’t know how I figured out I’m queer sort of thing) or genderqueer. So basically, one step forward, and who knows if the other steps will follow. Right now I’m just sneaking back into the closet with my parents.
    But I feel okay, because my best friend understands (she’s queer and grey-a as well!).

  2. I was in my mom’s mini-van, alone with her, driving down the highway at no less than 65mph (I’ve noticed her trend of asking me in-depth questions when she knows I can’t exit the vehicle safely at the time).
    I had been hanging out with a bunch of girls from my high school, known to be “in the gay crowd” … and she legit asked me “Well, how do you manage to stay straight when you’re surrounded by all ‘those people’?” .. and I gripped the door handle while staring straight at the dotted lines on the road ahead, everything getting blurry.. And I said “Well.. I don’t. I mean, I’m not. I mean, I’m not straight.”

    ..*crickets* ..

    To this day, she refers to my girlfriend as my “friend”, even though we live together, you would think she had three heads and eats baby animals alive. My mother is very against same-sex anything.
    So I got that goin for me. Thankfully, all the kids in my family have been pretty independent and on our own from a young pre-teen age, so her disapproval hasn’t changed me much. I just worry that my gf will take it personally.

    Love you AutoStraddle. I’m doing me, you’re doing you, and we are one big fat beautiful rainbow. :)

  3. I came out to many of my friends when I was 20-22 then I got serious about what I was doing with my life and my transition. I guess my parents would have figured it out but I was a pretty manly guy so it went unnoticed. They were really confused by long hair, nose ring and other piercings and stuff. I kind of half chickened out while home for thanks giving/my birthday when I was 23 and said good bye and started to drive back to college. Then I stopped in a parking lot about a mile from home and called them in tears and talked to them for hours. Then I drove back home and ended up talking to them a lot longer, I made it back to school that night late and it was a pretty rough time since then but it has worked out.

  4. I finally came out to the first of my friends on coming out day last year and had come out at work by Christmas. I was first aware of my gayness when I was a pre-schooler! (as much as you can at that age) Why it took me until I was 30 to actually BE who I am, I have no idea. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time I could have been happy but you can’t wind back time.

    Anyway, my friends are all AMAZING and nothing has changed other than they’re keeping an eye out for an awesome girl for me instead of a guy (I’m the singleton of the group),They just wished I had told them earlier! I have the best friends ever and I’m always so thankful for that.

    I’m not yet out to my parents, the time just never seems to be right, but I will. I do know they’re very anti-discrimination so I’m not afraid of that, it’s just that it always feels really awkward.

    • As a nice little post-script to my comment, I did finally come out to my parents after having a good old heart-to-heart with a very wise friend.

      My Dad driving at the time (decided from this thread that was a good tactic to use!) and he was just like ‘Oh right, you’re gay’… and that was that, and the conversation went on to something else.

      Then I came out to my Mum and she said she had already realised ages ago and that it changes nothing.

      And then life went on as normal.

      So that was so much less scary and awful than I ever imagined and it’s a relief finally to have that off my shoulders at last!

  5. Fuck I don’t even know where to start with this.

    I had a girl crush at 12 (with someone I had hated for a year why brain why) but it wasn’t until I started fantasizing about my now-best-friend that I went “yknow maybe I’m not so straight”. I did tell my mum about it but it kinda felt like in one ear out the other, mostly because they still conceive of me as a 6 year old.

    When I was 21 I got my first boyfriend. He knew I was queer coming into the relationship. We were very happy. Two years later that damn Katy Perry song played over and over and I realised that while I liked my guy a lot I wasn’t willing to spend my whole life never experiencing what it’s like with a woman. Yet I didn’t want to throw away a beautiful relationship just because I was horny.

    We opened up the relationship, which actually did wonders for our sanity and communication skills. I kissed a friend, but that didn’t go anywhere.

    After a year of opening up the relationship I connected with an old friend of his who pretty much ticked every box for “dream girl”. I was so into her and she was into me too! I nearly left him for her, that was how much I was into her. But things got bad, and then they went horribly horribly wrong. The dream became a nightmare. She is no longer friends with either of us out of her own volition and it’s taken me a long time to recover from her.

    The other complication was that I went to an all-women’s play party and was raped by someone there. It fucked up how I conceived sexuality for a while – maybe still now – and has led to my vaginismus and trigger around dildos. What I felt most guilty about was that my first reaction was to find *more girls to have sex with*, rather than be the shut-down frigid woman; I really did not want this to be the only experience I had of lesbian sex. Even now I’m ambivalent about counting this as an experience.

    About a year after this girl I met this older woman who was deliciously enticing. We hooked up and it was grand! so so hot omgs. We were trying to make plans to reconnect but then she moved and got all weird on me. A few months later I met this other chick (who I’m still good friends with) and hooked up with her – and I felt this massive realisation, the thing people talk about when they say “this is what it’s supposed to feel like”. That’s when I realised I am more than just queer – I am an all-out lesbian. I didn’t want sex with cisguys.

    I came out to my guy, and to a bunch of other people. Mostly to myself really. We still tried to make the relationship work because we had built up years of trust and affection and we loved each other greatly (“guilty”?!) but I was still feeling conflicted. Soon after that I went to San Francisco for the summer and pretty much had more sex in those 3 months than I had in, well, ever. It was a little sad to return to Brisbane and pretty much losing my mojo (didn’t help that a few traumatic events happened soon afterwards and I was alienated from much of the local queer community).

    A little while ago my guy finally found another girl and we’ve had threesomes which are a lot of fun. I was planning to return to SF for grad school. I was going to leave us as “unorthodox friends” because I wanted my energy to be in the Bay Area. Yet I still felt pressured to maintain this relationship somehow – there was a point where we nearly got engaged for visa purposes (and pretty much because everyone we knew expected it to happen) but I thought it would have been way too much stress before a move.

    I went to A-Camp and heard a relationship story that was much like mine: primary male romantic partner, largely asexual, non-monogamous. It was the one time I felt outside affirmation for my relationship and I was deeply heartened. But unfortunately it wasn’t enough.

    A couple of weeks ago I met this girl here in the Bay and we got together. The day after we talked about being girlfriends I freaked out and started analysing what was it about the term ‘girlfriend’ that spooked me, wanting independence in a relationship (which I was already getting anyway, no one was chaining me to anything) and all the conflict. I realise that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with my guy anymore. I felt like I was living a lie, that while I loved him dearly I didn’t want to be his girlfriend, my gut was yelling at me.

    I broke it off with him. He said he was sad but relieved; we both knew it was coming, talked about it, but no one wanted to make the first move. I’m not sure if he’s internalised it yet. Six years, y’know? It’s not insignificant. It wasn’t fake. It just wasn’t sustainable. It was on life support but at some point I had to pull the plug.

    That same day I rang my mum and properly came out to her. I had to explain why I wasn’t going to marry this guy she had completely adored. She was mostly speechless. She said she knew enough to know that it wasn’t something I could change and I’m still her daughter no matter what – and then launched into an half-hour spiel of how i should call more often, which is every conversation anyway. It was as good as I could expect, I guess.

    My sister’s known for a long time but at one point felt I was being too openly sexual and told me “I feel like I don’t have a little sister anymore”. That’s when we stopped being close.

    I haven’t told my dad. I’m his baby. When things were going wrong with him everyone else expected me to fix it since apparently he listens to me more than anyone. But I have heard him say homophobic things, and I don’t know how much I want to risk things. I wonder if mum told him.

  6. I have several first coming outs. I officially came out first when I was twelve years old, after trying to drop hints to my friends in middle school and failing. I went to a summer camp that was my safe place, with counselors that I admired and trusted. I had gotten enough courage to buy lots of rainbow jewelry at Claires, and a gorgeous rainbow ring at Amazon Bookstore (RIP), the feminist/lesbian bookstore that was only two blocks away from my house. I wore it until the red jewel fell out and it wasn’t a rainbow any more.
    So, that August, I was sitting and talking with one of my favorite counselors, who offhandedly said “I like your ring.” I took a deep breath, stared at the ground and said “I have a lot of rainbow things,” and when I looked at her again, she was smiling at me and I knew she understood what I was trying to say. That year, I came home and told my friends I was bisexual, and the next year when I got to camp, I had a conversation with the same counselor (who I am now honored to call a coworker and close friend) about how much bullshit it is that boys told me I hadn’t met the right guy yet. She told me anyone should be at liberty to love whoever they want, and now the two of us, as the queer lady counselors, try to be that role model for all the queer kids we teach, just like she was (and still is) for me.

    My coming out to my mom was different. I was a freshman in high school, fairly confidant that I liked girls in some capacity, but coming off of a rough breakup with my middle school boyfriend. There were some older kids in my German 3 class who did theater and dyed their hair cool colors and adopted me as an awkward but enthusiastic baby queer. In October, on her 17th birthday, one of the girls asked me (in incorrect German) whether I would be her girlfriend. I said yes, and then realized on the way home that I had never told my mom. In the car, late at night (I remember driving through a construction zone) I asked her if she would mind if I dated someone older than myself. “Well, how old is the boy?” she asked. “It’s not a boy,” I stammered, “and she’s 17.” My mom never had a problem with the gay thing – I have gay family members so we’re all pretty used to it – but she took issue with the fact that the girl (and her best friend/ex, who I dated immediately after, also 17) was three years older and partied pretty hard. In retrospect, I’m glad she didn’t let me see the two girls outside of school, because I would be a much different person if I had started partying at age 14. But that girl was the catalyst, and I thank her for that.

    I went on to come out as a lesbian, lead the GSA, go to an all-women’s college, date several girls, and write for Autostraddle. So…pretty queer, I think.

    Happy Coming Out Day, guys.

  7. a week before i moved from east coast to west coast:

    me: mom, i’m gay.
    mom: wha????
    me: girls
    mom: do you know it hurts the first few times, honey?
    me: yup. still gay.
    mom: okay, (crying), I still love you

  8. so um I considered myself pretty OUT, but last night I posted a status on facebook (and made sure to block my Mom to avoid hateful text messages about internet conduct and this being a phase we still need to sort out) and I got like so much support from a lot of friends who I guess didn’t know before yesterday. My best friend from Girl Scouts Dad actually wrote that they send their love..which I hope means they are accepting but yeah it kind of felt like getting to reclaim my coming out story which is nice because I was outed and had felt kind of like I missed out on getting to pick my label. BEST DAY!

  9. I came out about 4 months ago…FINALLY! I’m 27 now and just broke up with my long term boyfriend, which made for a fantastic conversation with my mom. Before I told my mom I first came out to my best friend who is also gay, which made things much easier. I waited about a month to tell my mom which was the day after my birthday. She was BBQing and I had poured both of us huge glasses of wine knowing what I was about to do. I just kinda came right out with it and she almost burned the steak! The first thing she asked was if this was the reason my boyfriend broke up with me. It wasn’t, and I’m pretty sure he still has no idea…I think ;) The next issue was the grandkids talk. I was basically expected to get married to this ex boyfriend so she was thinking that grandkids were right around the corner. I’m still trying to assure her that all her hopes and dreams for me have not died and all these things can still happen – it will just be with a woman.

    I’m pretty much out to all of my friends too, except for one who is super religious. She has been my friend since high school and we are pretty close. She kinda freaked out when another friend of ours came out so I am expecting the same reaction. I recently posted a pretty gay video on facebook and have allowed her to see my complete profile. I hope she can put 2 and 2 together. I will tell her soon if she can’t figure it out herself.

  10. I have a LOT of coming out stories. I first came out to someone in early Spring this year, to a guy friend who was having his own “issues” at the time. He’s one of those people that doesn’t shut up unless you shout at or hit him, so mid-sentence I just said “GAVIN, I’M GAY.” And he was pretty cool about it, even if he has outed me against my will to a handful of people. I told all of my friends individually; I didn’t want to make it into some big announcement. I just think that if I don’t make it into a Massive Deal they won’t either. My favourite story involves one of the last friends I told:
    Me: “Fraser, I have something to tell you. I’m gay.”
    Him: *awkward silence* “right. How d’you mean?”
    Me: “…uum, I’m a lesbian, Fraser. I like girls.”
    Him: “O-okay. Like Roxie Richter?”
    Me: ” *sigh* Yes, Fraser. Like Roxie Richter.”
    I thought it was hilarious. I tweeted a general “hey y’all, it’s Coming Out Day so I thought I should inform you lovely peeps that I am Pretty Darn Gay” yesterday, and have already been appointed gay best friend of one of my friends. I am enjoying having a title.
    I actually came out to my first family member yesterday-my 12 year old sister. It didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped. I’d always planned to tell her first as she seemed like she’d be the most supportive. So, we were walking up the road from school yesterday and I just said, “I’ve got something to tell you…I’m gay.” She gave me a VERY stern look for a 12 year old and just said, “WHY?” “I…I just am. I like girls.” And she has said nothing else on the matter. I have no idea whether or not this is a good sign.

    That’s why I’m so worried about coming out to my parents. I have absolutely no idea how they’ll react. They might be really good or they could COMPLETELY FREAK OUT. My dad has been known to be homophobic, and he always seems confused when I challenge him about it. I know for a fact that none of my grandparents on either side, or most of my extended family, will react badly, at least at first. Just last week I was being shouted at by my grandmother and great grandmother for not having a boyfriend. I could have come out to them then, but it wouldn’t have been fair. It might have been hilarious, though.

    So I’m probably going to wait a while to tell my family. A LONG while. But most people I’ve come out to have been really great, and I’m extremely grateful that they have.
    <3

    P.S I have spent the last two days reading everyone else's stories and I am loving all of them.

  11. I’ve had various levels of success with coming out. Some friends have been supportive, others have treated it as a non-issue. My mother is a work-in-progress. After feeling really guilty about lying to her about what I was doing during A-Camp, and having my sister tell her I was at a “lesbian feminists camp” anyways, I decided to broach the subject a few weeks ago. She told me she had completely blocked it from her mind since my sister mentioned it. Then she kept honing in on the “feminist” component as if that were the surprising word in the sentence. After a long conversation where we established that its OK to be feminist, and she said something like “so it sounds like any other women’s gathering!” I clarified, “Yes mom, except that all the women there liked women.”

    Her response: “Oh, well you can *like* women without being *attracted* to them! You know, want to spend time with them, relate to them….Still, I think its better we not tell your stepdad.”

    It was sad and confusing. She has a long history of burying her head in the sand over things she doesn’t like or can’t handle, but I wasn’t sure how much more direct I could have gotten other than sharing sexual info. no one wants to discuss with their parents. So I’ll try again some day, but for now I can live with more of a clear conscience knowing that I tried communicating my truth to her.

  12. I came out at age 12 to my father… at my confirmation.
    Actually 10 minutes before my confirmation started.
    Outside our church. In rural west Ireland.
    He finished his cigarette and said “Ok I still love you. Now go into mass, do your confirmation and for Christ’s sake don’t tell your Granny”.

  13. Unfortunately when I was in highschool, my parents found out about my girlfriend and I, so the coming out process to them was a bit rocky. They have come to terms with it since and I am so thankful for their love and support.

    I’m currently in my 4th year of university. Most of my good friends from my hometown know and have been great about it, but very few people at my university know. I have struggled a lot lately with trying to come to the conclusion within myself that I’m gay. I’ve been in 3 relationships with girls and I think this is the type of relationship I want to be in, but I’m just worried that I’ll make the decision to come out fully and wish that I’d given myself more time to be 100% sure.

  14. I agree with several of you on here. I hate when people ask how I came out because I never ever know what to say. I’ve come out so many times to so many people and as several different things. I never once thought of myself as heterosexual, but I never told people that. The first time I ever talked about my sexuality, I told people I was “bisexual but leaning more toward women,” then, for a short period of time, I came out as “pansexual but leaning more toward women,” then I came out as “mostly gay,” and finally, I came out as “just gay.” Frankly, sometimes I wish my family had been a bit more conservative because they’re very liberal and so I never thought it was wrong to be gay. I never had internalized homophobia or anything, but I also knew that my peers and others did not think it was okay and that I shouldn’t tell them (I was in a very liberal family that lived in an incredibly conservative town ironically enough.). I sometimes think that if I had had a more conservative family, I would have questioned myself a lot sooner and figured out that I am gay a lot sooner. Instead, I just never questioned it. I had feelings for girls and I didn’t really think it was wrong, but I chose to ignore it because I knew my peers and others didn’t think it was okay. I never thought I could actually BE with another girl. It wasn’t something I ever really saw in society. Another thing that made it confusing for me though was the fact that I can be “emotionally attracted” to guys every once in a while. It hasn’t happened in a long time, but I was always confused because I was highly emotionally and sexually attracted to girls but I had only ever been emotionally attracted to a couple of boys in my life. Thus, I thought I must be bisexual or pansexual because I had never heard of the separation of emotional and sexual attraction before. I had had sex and/or made out with so many girls for years before I finally came out to myself and to others as gay. It wasn’t until my first girlfriend who identified as a lesbian though, that I came out to myself as gay. Prior to that I had only been with bi-curious or bisexual girls, and while bisexuality is real, these girls were only sexually attracted to women and not emotionally attracted to them. Therefore, it wasn’t until I got into a relationship with a girl who was sexually and emotionally attracted to me that I finally realized that this was what I had wanted all along and that I am absolutely gay.
    Oops, this kind of turned more into a “when did you realize you were gay” story than a “coming out story.” My bad.

  15. I am so late on this, but I feel like sharing is worth it, if only to make myself feel ok.
    I have been out to myself since probably age 7 or 8. In middle school (10? 11?) I once asked my clique of friends which of us they thought was most likely to kiss a girl. Shortly afterward, I began exchanging (for the age) risque “love notes” with another friend.
    Through first and second year of high school, these notes continued, first diminishing in intensity, then intensifying again. By this time, people were already calling my bluff, spreading rumors, etc.
    Junior year, 2 teachers had called me out, though I answered their inquiries half-honestly and continued what I thought was flying under the radar. I dated a boy I knew was gay (although also closeted) and slept with him, both of us denying any notion of homosexuality.
    Senior year, I made jokes about liking women with a friend I knew was an ally. I finally kissed the girl from the “love notes” although it was not the first time I had kissed another girl. I had been an active member of the school’s GSA for about a year. I finally felt okay, except I wasn’t ever really “out”.
    Freshman year of college I fell for my roommate, we dated, she broke my heart, she came out to everyone, I didn’t. Junior year, my mother kept questioning why she was hearing that I was gay. I told her I didn’t know, she got weird. She kept pushing it. At the end of the summer, she asked me directly if it were true. I told her I wasn’t going to answer her because if I told her the truth, she would be angry; if I lied, that wouldn’t be right. She hasn’t asked since.
    I am closest to 3 people in my family-my mother, an aunt, and a sibling. All three strong republicans. All 3 at least slightly homophobic. All 3 I cannot stand to lose. So even though I have not come out directly, I feel as though at least one of them knows. All of my friends know. When I meet new people, I don’t shy away from telling them upfront (read: when asked). I feel as though I have done what I can until now. I feel as though I need a little push to be out completely. I want to be out completely, but I am waiting for something that I cannot identify. I tell myself that when my family asks directly, I will be honest and tell the truth. For 3 tears, I have been waiting for this day. Still, now feels like the right time to share my story..here, at least. So good luck to everyone, thank you for listening, and be strong always!

  16. This year has been the ‘coming out’ year… I have only properly known a year! But I think it’s lovely now that my friends know because I am honest with them and can truly be myself! Its awkward telling them and scary but exciting all at the same time. I don’t think all my “coming outs” have been the same! I have just joined an LGBT group at University. I have no idea how I feel about gay rights or if this is the right thing for me. I have met to many different people but I have no idea if its making me feel more comfortable or just isolated because I am 3rd year… But “coming out” isn’t the problem its the fact that I am not fully comfortable about being gay yet.. I think I am coming out to my mum tomorrow which should be interesting. I am nervous and also looking forward to taking a deep breath and letting everything out. Thats the best thing about coming out having that feeling that your free because you really are. Can anyone answer my questions to gay life? I am betting on it all getting better!? Lets just hope so! :)

  17. I am so lucky to have parents that have supported my lifestyle and even encouraged it since I was a little girl. Sadly this is not about me coming out, actually the opposite. With my parents and sisters, I’m not afraid to be me, but around school and my friends, I have no idea how to come out. In school I am an openly gay supporter and an officer of our GSA, but I still have no idea how to tell my friends, let alone my classmates. I don’t know what to do, I’m so afraid that I will be made fun of, or that I might loose some of my friends. I want people to know but at the same time I don’t. I live in Columbia, MO so even though we are the little blue blip in a sea of red, there are still a whole lot of judgmental conservatives. I was treated horribly all through elementary and middle school, and I don’t want it to start up again now that I’m in high school. I just wish I knew how to make this easier.

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  19. I came out when this girl I was interested in called up my brother to come hang out (They used to date) and I didn’t know he was coming but then she started making out with me and then I look over and my brother is yelling “Fuck you!” at me….. It was awkward for a few minutes but he got over it and outed me to my family but it didn’t phase anyone one bit. My little sister came out a month later and no one batted a eye. lol And my friends are really awesome actually.

  20. I’m only vaguely out to myself at the moment, but I kind of came out to myself and my best friend at the same time. We had gone for a weekend away having not seen each other in months and when we were getting ready for bed she said ‘I’m pregnant’ to which for some reason my response was ‘I think I’m bi.’ She was nice about it but I don’t think she actually believed me.
    It was only a month later when I was having a little meltdown on the phone with her over whether I was straight or bisexual or gay, with her gently pointing out that I was probably straight, that she asked ‘do you fantasise about kissing girls?’ I said ‘yes’ which led to a short silence, followed by her laughing and saying ‘Then you’re probably not completely straight.’

  21. well, you see, it went like this (famous last words, gimme a thumbs up if you get that).lol

    so i came out to my mom who is bipolar, we were sitting in her boyfriends trailer (he was there just to clarify. not together anymore) and it started out as something completely unrelated, i had finally mustered up some courage to talk to her about me discovering i was unipolar (yes its totally real and completly fucked) and that i discovered that by almost cutting my wrist, then that lead to a talk about why i was depressed at all, then part of the abuse that my older brother and i went through with my father’s mother that he had left us with. so there they are both sitting on the couch (lol ironic huh;)) bawling, and me, sitting there calmly, so then she asks, ok is there anything else you havnt told me yet? so i sit there a moment cause i thought that would be obvious so i say, yeah but none im willing to share but this, im bisexual but lean toward the females. got up and walked out. while halarious to me i would not advise this technique as my mom is still insisting i cant know that yet.

  22. All I know is I’m not straight and I feel the need to tell someone. I really need to know what I am. I’m at least bi-sexual with a strong leaning towards females, but I don’t know if I’m all lez. Oh what to do….

  23. So I was absolutely convinced that I was straight for the longest time,and tried to reassure myself of this by dating only men despite the fact that I knew I found women to be more attractive. It took me going on a date who the guy was great through most of it, and should’ve been everything I wanted, right up until he kissed me. The moment that should’ve been fireworks was just three very distinct words in my head. “F**k I’m gay.”

    I didn’t actually come out to anyone until a week later on what happened to be coming out day. I was playing Cards Against Humanity with a few friends of mine, who all happened to be in the lgbt community and they were swapping coming out stories, and not even thinking about it, I just blurt out “S**t I didn’t even think about how my family is gonna react.” And the four of them turn to look at me with really confused looks, and I just clammed up for a minute before I force out, “I may or may not be really f**king gay” and for a moment there was an awkward moment of silence before Alex turned to her girlfriend and said “Called it”

    I didn’t actually come out to the rest of my friends and family until later that night through a post on facebook saying ‘In case any of you didn’t know, I’m a lesbian.’ I avoided calls from my family for three days until my dad called my then best friend (now girlfriend) to ask her to tell me that they had known for years and it wasn’t a big deal.

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