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Coming out is a weird thing. It’s hard to get exactly right. Plus it can be damn scary and sometimes dangerous. That’s especially true right now. So, honestly, you do you and please come out on your own terms and stay safe. But, on the chance that you do want some slightly ridiculous advice on which holidays I, personally, think are the best to come out to your family and friends on, here’s a little break from the madness that we’re living in.
Also, sorry guys, I grew up in a Christian household, so these are the holidays I know. If you celebrate other holidays, please feel free to tell me which ones are also great to come out on.
11. Thanksgiving (Fourth Thursday in November)
For some reason, Thanksgiving is always the most awkward holiday. You’re not going to ruin the awkwardness and drama by adding a little more awkwardness and drama. But, hey, if you do, the tryptophan in the turkey will have everyone asleep in an hour anyway and you can sneak out.
10. National Coming Out Day (October 11)
This seems like the natural choice to be higher up on the list, but honestly, it’s a little cliche at this point. At least you can get away with doing it on social media with a nifty hashtag on this day.
9. Easter (First Sunday after the First Full Moon after the Vernal Equinox [what?????])
Here’s what you do: write “I’m Gay” (or trans or bi or queer or whatever) on a piece of paper and put it inside an Easter egg for the Easter egg hunt. Someone at your family gathering will find it, and it will lead to mass confusion as everyone tries to figure out who the “I” is referring to in the note. Now your Easter party is a mystery party!
8. Arbor Day (Last Friday in April)
This one is pretty specific. If you want to come out as a butch, flannel-wearer, lumbersexual or other similar type, what better day than Arbor Day, a holiday dedicated to the forest and the trees?
7. Halloween (October 31st)
I mean, come on, Halloween is called Gay Christmas for a reason. It’s a great holiday for trying new things, dressing however you want and releasing a part of yourself that you’ve never let out before. The only downside is that sometimes when you come out as a trans woman on Halloween, your pastor asks you in church on the next Sunday (as you’re standing there in a dress, with makeup, painted nails and curled hair) in front of a bunch of people if “this whole thing” is a “Halloween joke.”
6. Columbus Day (October 12th)
Christopher Columbus sucks, so why not come out on his day and pull all the attention away from his genocidal, imperialist, racist ass and onto your beautiful queer one?
5. Valentine’s Day (February 14th)
Love is in the air! And that love is gay love! If you want to come out and have the best chance of getting a date at the same time, this is the day for you.
4. Galentine’s Day (February 13th)
This holiday invented by Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation is like Valentine’s Day but focused on love between women who love each other. If you’re a woman who loves other women, this day is already about you, so why not turn those one of the gal pals you’re celebrating into your Gal Pal by coming out on this day?
3. Feast of Our Lady de Guadalupe (December 12th)
We’ve talked before about how La Virgen is a very feminist and queer and Brown deity, so she’s the perfect one to watch over qtpoc as we come out. This day is for us!
2. New Year’s Eve (December 31st)
This holiday is all about new beginnings! Why not start a new beginning as a queer person? It’s also all about kissing people! Why not kiss a cute girl or non-binary person? It’s a win-win!
1. Veterans Day (November 11th)
It’s today! Carpe Diem! Seize the day! Come out right now!