5 Ways to Make the Most of Your Masturbation Staycation

feature image via shutterstock

Autostraddle's International Staycation Spectacular

On March 14, we want our readers to stay in together as part of Autostraddle’s International Staycation Spectacular! Follow along with everyone’s hotel parties, spa days, and indoor picnics around the world with the hashtag #StaycationSpectacular, and join us on the day of for the A+ livestream!

Staycationers ahoy! Are you pumped for the Staycation Spectacular, but feeling like maybe you want something a little more stimulating out of your day? Maybe you would enjoy a Masturbation Staycation. This post is focused on ideas for the solo sexy staycationer, but if you are having your staycation with one or more sexy partner(s), you can adapt this for y’all.

1. Do the Masters of Sex Cure Month: Condensed Edition

I'm a "maybe" on the %Sqweel. I'll go check it out at Babeland.

I’m a “maybe” on the Sqweel. I’ll go check it out at Babeland.

Carolyn took us all on an amazing journey in January with her Masters of Sex Cure Month guide. Adjusting the month’s activities to fit into one day can make for an incredible day-long solo sexy retreat. I recommend cleaning your sheets and your room the night before, so in the morning you can start the day off fresh. First, take a sexy bath from week one (with the help of a fizzy bath bomb). Follow that up with a Yes/No/Maybe list or worksheet as instructed in week 2. If you are getting a little stir crazy, get out of the house in the afternoon for week three’s sex shop field trip, then laze about the internet researching things you are interested in (or uninterested in) from your yes/no/maybe list. Throughout the day, masturbate whenever the moment strikes you throughout the day, and take notes on what you’re thinking and feeling as you go. Then reflect on your experience.

2. Dive into the NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Archive

One day of staycation to go through the archive? Lol right – see you in a week.

One day of staycation to go through the archive? Lol, right – see you in a week.

One of Autostraddle’s longest-standing traditions is NSFW Sunday. This is a link to the first one ever, and I’m pretty confident in your ability to spend an entire day going through all sixteen pages’ worth of NSFW Sunday archives.

3. Find Yourself Some [Ethical] Porn


Did you read Chelsea’s guide to supporting ethical porn even if you can’t afford it? If not, go read it now, then come back. I’ll wait. Ok, now go see what the internet has to offer! Alongside Chelsea’s recommendations, Ali took you on an queer feminist porn quest in 2013. If you have a key to the CrashPad, check out our these great episodes, or keep it on-brand for the day with this list of solo performances. If porn isn’t your thing, check out some of our erotica recommendations, most of which are available on ebook, or check out those two times we published some original erotica just for you.

4. Go Sex Toy Shopping

Finally bought the %Octopussy!!

Finally bought the Octopussy!!

If you live in a city with a good sex shop, go check it out and find something for your budget. If you don’t live somewhere with a good sex shop, or if you’re just super committed to not leaving the house, shop online at one of our affiliates. Need ideas? Check out our archive of anonymous sex toy reviews.

5. Go On a Sexy Podcast Listening Binge While You Clean or Craft

Maybe I should get into bootblacking! via Shutterstock

Maybe I should get into bootblacking! via Shutterstock

If you aren’t someone who likes to marathon orgasmic activity, you can still have a sexy staycation. There are a ton of sexy podcasts out there, just begging to be listened to while you take on a home improvement project, a cleaning rampage, a cooking adventure, or a crafting mission. My personal favorites include Tina Horn’s Why Are People Into That?! podcast, where she interviews different people about their areas of expertise and interest in different corners of the sex industry. She and her guests go really deep into whatever it is that they’re talking about, breaking down myths, stigmas and stereotypes on all topics from porn to bootblacking to fear. There’s no shortage of hilarious and fascinating tangents, either. While I started with the episodes that sparked my own interest, I’ve since gone further into her archive of topics I’d never even heard of, and I have yet to be disappointed. I also recommend the Heart, formerly Audiosmut, associate-produced by our very own podcast editor Samara.

What did I miss? How are you going to incorporate masturbation into your staycation? Maybe you need a playlist for the day. Have a blast, and remember, all of these things can be done from the comfort of a blanket fort while wrapped in your favorite robe, sporting floral sunglasses, away from the rest of humanity.

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  1. This (and the Lovehoney order I received yesteray) almost makes me disappointed I’ll be travelling instead of staycationing this weekend, but I’m sure sangrias in Barcelona with my derby league will help me feel better.

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