May Is Masturbation Month: Here’s a Self-Serve Playlist

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Lots of good things happen in May. 25 years ago, I was born in May. This year, A-Camp is in May. And May also happens to be that most special time of the year, International Masturbation Month. It started out as National Masturbation Month in 1995 when US Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders spake a sentiment that rained conservative wrath down upon her: that discussion of masturbation has a place in sexual education curricula (hint: it does). She was fired for speaking the truth too loudly. Good Vibrations, that paragon of sex toy retail and sex education, basically was like no fucking way, let’s make a month out of this to talk about masturbation because clearly this large group of puritans needs it, and here we are today.

If you hadn’t guessed already, masturbation is one of my favorite things to talk about. And it’s something we need to talk about – the guilt complex around prioritizing pleasure gets deconstructed when we talk about (and practice) self-love and self-pleasure.

I’m choosing to kick off Masturbation Month with something pretty tame, something to warm us up, something that so many people seem to have so many feelings about one way or another.

Your Masturbation Playlist.

There are elements of this playlist that are totally from my own mindbrain/playlist/sexy time (P!nk, Massive Attack) and there are elements that are crowdsourced from the team (how the fuck have I not touched myself to Erykah Badu?!). I also aimed to vary the tempo as much as I could without being so jarring that I throw you out of your zone. So go forth and do two things: 1. talk about the songs you touch yourself to and 2. touch yourself. You are helping to bust down the patriarchy.

Autostraddle’s Official Masturbation Month Playlist


Teardrop – Massive Attack
Emerald Eyes – Von Iva
Both Hands – Ani Difranco
Layla (Unplugged) – Eric Clapton
Oops (Oh My) – Tweet, featuring Missy Elliot
On & On – Erykah Badu
Touch of My Hand – Britney Spears
Fingers – P!nk
Glory Box – Portishead
All Is Full Of Love – Björk
White – Frank Ocean, John Mayer
Woman – Rhye
Breathe Me – Sia
Explode – Uh Huh Her


Want to suggest a playlist theme? Hit Crystal up on Formspring and someone from the team will make it for you, if you’re lucky.

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Deputy Editor for The Inquisitive Eater: New School Food and Fiction Editor for Magazine. Also an MFA candidate and Teaching Fellow at The New School. Keep up with her at her website.

Ali has written 439 articles for us.


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    Sleep Together – Garbage (actually Version 2.0 is just mmmm)

    Also, I think my association of Breathe Me with Six Feet Under makes it entirely impossible for me to imagine autoeroticisin’ to it

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    pretty much any song by muse if you try hard enough (but “time is running out,” “supermassive black hole,” and “undisclosed desires” are particularly good). “l’amour parfait” by yelle is a huge favorite. and if you want to go really recent, try “tunnel vision” from justin timberlake’s new album. works like a charm!

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    There’s something about the concept of thousands of people masturbating to the same playlist that I can’t quite wrap my mind around. That said, you do you……you do you.

    *sexy wink*

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    Yay for May and masturbation!!! I’d also like to take this moment to shamelessly mention that it’s my birthday. I’ve only got one year of my 20’s left…and my 30’s sure as HELL better be better! (Can I go ahead and declare 29 as part of my 30’s so I can get started on them already???)

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    Not sure how this one was overlooked as it’s pretty much the premise of the song. Sleater kinney – Let’s Call it Love

    Radiohead – National Anthem not sure why, but had good luck with this song.

    Florence + Machine – Girl with One Eye

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    Tori Amos – Sugar
    The cure – Pictures of You
    Depeche Mode – A question of lust
    Depeche Mode – Stripped
    Depeche Mode – Waiting for the night
    Depeche Mode – Sweetest perfection
    Depeche Mode – Dangerous
    Depeche Mode – I feel you
    Depeche Mode – In your room
    Depeche Mode – One Caress
    Depeche Mode – Higher Love
    Depeche Mode – Sister of Night
    Depeche Mode – Only when I lose myself

    Hmm, there’s probably more DM, they make good masturbation music!

    Gary Numan – are friends electric
    Portishead – Glory box
    Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps

    This is a time when I need my ipod to hand, so to speak!

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    I immediately thought of The Trucks – Diddle Bot

    You can listen to it here:

    Also, I feel the need to include the lyrics, because… well just look at these lyrics!

    i was feeling kinda lonely so i went to the store
    picked you up for a couple of bucks and walked out the door.
    well, diddle bot, he’s not your average joe,
    he’s got three different speeds-
    slow fast and go, go go GO GO!

    you, i found you in longview
    you’re smooth metallic blue
    you’ve got me in the mood
    you love me through and through
    you make me feel brand new,
    i hope i hope i do… ah-ah-achoo!

    i didn’t expect to find my tits against the wall
    and your monotone drone didn’t phase me at all
    i was kinda disappointed cause you promised me lunch
    but all i got was a diddle-bot donkey punch!

    you, i found you in longview
    you’re smooth metallic blue
    you’ve got me in the mood
    you love me through and through
    you make me feel brand new,
    i hope i hope i do… ah-ah-achoo!

    (robot voice: )
    baby, show me what you got-
    turn my knobs, fill up my slot.

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    Afterglow (ft. Soundmouse) by Phaeleh
    Honey Honey by Feist
    The Limit to Your Love by Feist
    Remain Nameless by Florence + the Machines
    Way Down by Elvis
    Little Bit by Lykke Li
    Blue Ocean Floor by Justin Timberlake

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    “Don’t Look Back” by Telepopmusik with Angela McCluskey is great for when you’re alone or with a special lady! Her voice basically oozes sexuality.

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