The Comment Awards Are Roasting Over An Open Fire

Hello, you cozy chestnuts!

As we inch ever closer to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years, etc. etc., we’re sipping on hot chocolate, perusing more gift guides, watching PLL get holigay and crafting presents for our favorites.

Feeling a little grinchy and struggling to get into the holiday spirit? Check out posts on ever so clever craftsnew merch and sex, sex, speed-dating and more sex.


 On Holigay Gift Guide: Everyone Must Get Stoned:

The Is This A Clue? Award to Carmen SanDiego:

carmen sandiego

On Here’s Your Christmas Movie Drinking Game:

The Jingle All The Way Award to Tess:

tess

 

The Hallmark Homo Award to Sally:

On Listling Without Commentary: 26 Excerpts From Negative Yelp Reviews Of Lesbian Bars By Men and Straight People:

The They Cannot Be Trusted! Award to donnamartingraduates:

donnamartingraduates

 

On What If Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss Are Kissing Partners? WHAT IF!:

The Shake It Off Award to Lora:

Lora

 

 

The Runway Look Award to mayonegg:

mayonegg

 

On Fools Journey: The Fascinating Life of Pamela Colman Smith:

The Male Tears Award to Brooke Palmieri and (shout out to AS writer Beth!):

Kevin MC

Beth + Brooke

brooke pt2

On The Curious Case of Alex Parks, The Celesbian That Briefly Was:

The Mail Kimp Award to Lauren:

Lauren

 

On Clip Art is Dead: The Five Stages of Grief As Told By Clip Art and Gays:

The  thumbs up Award to Tommy:

tommy


See a clever, hilarious or thought provoking comment around this website-ship? Email it to me at: carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com!

carrie is a nine to five office dweller in massachusetts. she loves waves, ​collects skateboards and is perpetually planning her escape from the northeast.

carrie has written 159 articles for us.

14 Comments

  1. Thank you for indulging my weirdness/unheralded film genius! As bonus/punishment, here are two more I thought of in the shower today!

    Rudy the Red-Faced Courier

    Rudy joins an all-female delivery service during their busy Christmas period. She’s embarrassed to realise she’s slept with all her co-workers: Cupid, a hard-partying clit-hopper; Prancer, a closeted heiress; Dasher, an indecisive bisexual; Dancer and Donner, an overly-affectionate couple suffering from lesbian bed death; Comet, a questioning straight girl; Blitzen, a wise old lesbian who talks only in culturally appropriated clichés; and Vixen, a trans woman who isn’t allowed her own storyline. The team pulls together through personal drama and transport failures to ensure the children of Portland get their presents in time for Christmas.

    It’s A Wonderful Dyke

    A depressed lesbian considers ending it all. A guardian angel shows her visions of what the world would be like if she never existed: half the girls she hooked up with in college would be trapped in curiously unfulfilling marriages to straight dudes; the local organic food co-op would go bust without anyone to buy all that kale; the Netflix algorithm would never have discovered the genre “films with lesbians in high-waisted jeans that cry during sex;” her favourite independently-owned queer lady website would shut down without her subscription. She begs to stay alive, and everyone lives gaily-ever-after.

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