There are no accidents.

“I found Autostraddle while googling ‘how do you know if you should leave your girlfriend?’ And reader, I did leave her. And then I went to an Autostraddle meet-up and met the lady knight of my wildest dreams.”

“Thank you for blessing us with the phrase ‘kitchen top,’ because I think that’s my actual alignment.”

“Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.”

“I love that someone actually answered that they’re a ‘soup chef’.”

“Crying in the gay bar right now.”

“Well, now I need ‘Consider disengaging if you’re processing more than you’re fucking’ embroidered on a pillowcase.”

“I’ve had a crush on Carmen SanDiego’s femme badassery since before I knew what crushes were, and long before I knew I could have them on women.”

“If Erin Sullivan has taught me anything, it’s that someone will try to use a bath bomb as a dildo.”

“Dana Scully and the XXX Files? I’m into that.”

Spark joy, motherf*ckers!

“Gay cheerleader of the cosmos, guess I found my desired position for future job applications.”

“I’m calling it Carbmas now.”

It’s a magical time of year.

“The heart with a dot below it is the menstruation heart you cannot change my mind.”

“The chairs thing! THE CHAIRS THING. All my life.”

“That duck for sure has an Alternative Lifestyle Feathercut.”

“I’m blushing in ways I cannot fully blame on the wine.”

“My mom watched The L Word before I did, so really this must be her fault.”

Yvonne, voice of the people.