In the grand scheme of things, we’re really all just here for Cate Blanchett’s boobs.
“What’s the acceptable dressing for a Man Salad? Crude oil? Turpentine?”
“Can confirm that mixing fake blood for your girlfriend’s Carrie costume is queer culture.”
Disney has a lot to answer for.
It’s just the way she makes us feel.
Spinach artichoke dip is the modern woman’s creamed spinach.
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (hoooo), I am for REALLL.
MY FRIENDS GOT MARRIED, TWO MORE STRADDLERS GOT MARRIED! Also there are comments!
Crack me like one of your French pistachios.
“Talk about draining conversations.”
“Wanna team up for a little destruction?”
I scream, you scream, we all scream for bi-scream!
“I have never in my life been so simultaneously supported in my truth and called out for my bullshit.”
“Thin Mints is the uber-domme of lesbians. She walks into a room and owns it. No other cookie challenges her. She wears dark colors, and her clothes and hair are rigidly smooth. Bow down and acknowledge her.”
“If Ventura is a ‘charmingly hip wine mom of a town’ does that make this the Mommi of A-Camps?”
“Tag yourself — I’m ‘not sure who is supposed to make the first move.'”
“Of course Kristen would be scissors.”
“Petition to call a group of feminists ‘A Simmering Rage?'”
“Is being #teamjughead going to be like being obsessed with Devon Sawa for the next generation of pre-out lesbians?”
“Hanging out with Mallory Ortberg would be like a slo-mo acid trip in the Getty Museum.”