Clip Art is Dead: The Five Stages of Grief As Told By Clip Art And Gays

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Queermos, it is a sad sad day. It is a sad day because Microsoft Office is moving away from Clip Art:

Theage.com says over the years, Clip Art grew into an expansive library, from “only 82 illustrations built into Word 6.0 in 1996 … to more than 100,000 static and moving images housed online.”

Microsoft will now send Office customers to its Bing search engine for images that are cleared through the Creative Commons licensing system.

Clip Art! That good ole 1990’s vestige of Powerpoint Presentations on whales for second grade Earth Science. How will grandparents make greeting cards now? Well, with Bing (lol) like they said. But still. It’s the principle of the thing! It’s the end of an era. And we here at Autostraddle didn’t just want to report this sad, sad news to you. We wanted to memorialize Clip Art. We wanted to make you masterpieces with Clip Art. So my fellow homogays, we bring you:

The Five Stages of Grief As Told By Clip Art And Gays

Denial, by Kaitlyn

clip-art-denial

Lalalalalalala


 Anger, by Ali

clip-art-anger

GOD WHAT ARE THESE WEIRD MODERN CLIP ART THINGS WHY CAN’T THE 90’S JUST BE PERPETUAL AND EVERLASTING WHY DOES CHANGE HAPPEN GOD EVERYTHING BITES EVERYTHING BITES HARDCORE UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH I’M GOING TO SLAM MY DOOR NOW

 


Bargaining, by Robin

clipartbargaining

ne me quitte pas


Depression, by Carmen

deep-clip-art-depression

“Kept trying to find a place for the dog but riding the donkey felt so right”— Carmen Rios, perfect human


 

Acceptance, by Audrey

I have accepted the loss of clipart because I can replicate them with my own face.

“I have accepted the loss of clipart because I can replicate them with my own face.”


We recognize we’re making a big deal out of nothing. That there are plenty of places to get free shitty line drawings to use in our print publishing. We just don’t care. We had to go through the five stages of grief and loss anyway.

What are your Clip Art feels? Do you have them? Are we crazy people? Do tell, please, we’re all ears.

ear-clip-art-ear-clip-art-7

 

This has been the one-hundred-seventh installment of  Queer Your Tech with Fun, Autostraddle’s nerdy tech column. Not everything we cover is queer per se, but we talk about customizing this awesome technology you’ve got. Having it our way, expressing our appy selves just like we do with our identities. Here we can talk about anything from app recommendations to choosing a wireless printer to web sites you have to favorite to any other fun shit we can do with technology. Header by Rory Midhani. 

Feature image via Wikipedia.

Staff Writer for Autostraddle, Part-time Faculty at The New School (teaching digital storytelling), Managing Editor for Scholar & Feminist Online at Barnard Center for Research On Women. Follow me on Twitter @AEOsworth or on Instagram, also @AEOsworth.

A.E. has written 542 articles for us.

19 Comments

  1. My anger stems from the fact that I still used word 2004 on my desktop but when i got a laptop i had to switch to word 2014 or some nonsense and it doesn’t have classic WORDART!!! i love wordart :'(

  2. I AM SO SAD ABOUT THIS. I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS HAPPENING.

    I WAS A 90’S MS PAINT ARTIST KID. MY BROTHER AND I USED TO MAKE ANIMATIONS USING LOTUS SMARTSUITE AND THEN LATER ON POWERPOINT.

    I MADE ALL MY GRAPHIC DESIGN ASSIGNMENTS LOOK CORNY AND CRAPPY USING CLIP ART USED IRONICALLY BESIDES COMIC SANS WHICH I SECRETLY STILL LOVED BUT COULDN’T ADMIT DUE TO COMICSANSPHOBIA OF CLASSMATES AND TEACHERS.

    IN MY JOB NOW I LOOK AFTER SMALL CHILDREN AND I HAVE TO MAKE SLIDESHOWS AT THE END OF THE DAY FOR PARENTS TO SEE WHAT THEIR SMALL HUMANS DID DURING THE DAY AND AND I STILL USE CLIP ART IN THEM. SOMETIMES I EVEN THROW IN WORD ART. AND USE COMIC SANS. AND WINGDINGS. AND USE HIDEOUS COLOUR SCHEMES.

    CLIP ART!!!! HOW WILL I LIVEEEEEEEEEEE WITHOUT YOUUUUUUU? I WANT TO KNOW. HOW WILL I BREATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WITHOUT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!? HOW WILL I EVER, EVER SURVIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? howwillihowwwillilive

    bing is the worst stupid bumface search engine and will never, ever sufficiently replace clip art in my heart

    this is some serious romeo and juliet shit right here. RIGHT IN THE FEELS.

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