Get A F*cking Job: The Playlist

I went to a vocational high school and I learned how to write a resumé at 14. My first internship opportunity came along when I was 17, in 2007. It was my first job. I’m graduating in May with about five bucketfuls of experience that I got by losing sleep, running around, crying at bus stops, and finding a dogsitter. Yet I can’t help but feel wholly and completely fucked.

i can't wear the cap on graduation day, is that a problem?

Applying for jobs means a new life full of “sincerely” and “best.” Your inbox will be consumed with one-sentence auto-reply emails in exchange for things you spent hours writing, like cover letters about why a part-time job in a retail store back office suits you now that you have your MA in Philosophy. The job market sucks, especially for young people, and I’d like to believe that only at this stage in my life will I so happily fight for a chance to have a large responsibility which sucks away all of the free time and ability to have fun in my life. I promised myself I’d never stop drunk tweeting, but here I am, putting together a website (shameless plug right here), updating my LinkedIn like some stiff in a full suit, and reformatting my 7-year-old resumé.

Did I sell out? What’s happening to me? Am I 30 yet? Will I ever have enough money to order more pizza? Where are my keys? I lost my phone.

I sucked it up and applied for my first job recently, which I would have congratulated myself for, except it’s March. I feel like I might be behind- some people I’m friends with on Facebook are already updating their statuses about how they “got the job in Italy!” – but I’m not worried because in the end, I recognize that one thing and one thing only helps you get the job: more Drake.

When you’re applying to jobs, all you need is some background noise to remind you that you’re pretty much the shit. I want you to shoot for the stars, my fellow straddlers, and that means giving you this playlist so you’ll never forget how lucky the person on the other end of [email protected] is just from hearing from you.

PS – Buy a blazer.

Get A F*cking Job: The Playlist
[Stream the playlist here]

Dedicated to Brittani Nichols,
who also loves Drake

+ I Can – Nas
+ Bills Bills Bills – Glee Cast
+ Gotta Work – Amerie
+ Independent Women – Destiny’s Child
+ The Good Life – Kanye West
+ Headlines – Drake
+ I’m The Best – Nicki Minaj
+ Juicy – Notorious B.I.G.
+ Billionaire – Travie McCoy & Bruno Mars
+ Bill Gates – Lil Wayne
+ Illest Motherfucker Alive – Kanye West & Jay-Z
+ Broke But Not Broken – Xtra Medium
+ New Work – jj


Want to suggest a playlist theme? Hit Crystal up on Formspring and someone on the team might make it for you.

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. Carmen, YOU are pretty much the shit for writing this lovely, lovely soundtrack to my life. My college graduation day is May 17th. SO well-timed.

  2. i am going to skip that bruno mars song and suggest this one instead:

    i’m not anywhere near graduating and my parents have eased up on me about finding part-time/summer work lately so i’m going to watch tv and drink a smoothie and not think about linkedin.

    • Internships are a GREAT way to get experience and a foot in the door for full time work when you finish school. If your parents aren’t pushing you to find an internship, they are setting you up for hard times and failure. Don’t be a lazy loser… Get an internship and stop thinking in the “now”.

      • wow that was slightly rude. i do have some experience with full-time work. maybe my initial comment was misleading but i mean i’m not close to graduating because i’ve had to withdraw from university for anxiety related reasons, not because i’m still a teenager.

        internships are useful, sure. do i need to be actively searching for one during what has been one of the most emotionally draining and stressful semesters to date? not really. if being concerned about my own mental health makes me a lazy loser, so be it.

          • and you CONTINUE to be rude and out of line. what the fuck is wrong with you? not only was your “advice” not asked for, you assesed the situation incorrectly because you made assumptions (emphasis on the first three letters of that word), and you were extremely judgemental. act like you have some basic manners and show that you were raised right and APOLOGIZE for having the audacity to characterize this person as a lazy loser when you didn’t even have the basic facts of the situation.

          • if i were not a gentleman i would say “no thank you, how about ‘nervous nancy’ and i go fuck each other instead”.

            however, i am a gentleman, and therefore i won’t be randomly propositioning an internet stranger named anna (which is whom i think you were referring to with the nancy comment).

            i will also say that i’m sorry if i made you, lynn, feel scared or defensive or even just misunderstood.

  3. How did you know that I’ve been having panic attacks while doing just this. Even though I logically know that I’m the shit. Thank you.

    • i wish i could write a cover letter and be like “do you seriously not want to hire me already?”

      • I wish I could write a cover letter that said “I am obviously the best and you are lucky that I am applying” but, mostly I just try to keep breathing and hope I get called for an interview.

  4. I can’t believe something got dedicated to me. It’s like that page in books but on the internet. I’m touched.

  5. 1. I love Glee’s cover of Bills Bills Bills.

    2. This playlist is RIGHT on time. Cause I needs a job and I needs one now.

  6. This is LIT’rally (a la Chris Traeger) exactly what I needed right now. I’m also ecstatic that I’m not the only one who like The Warblers’ cover of ‘Bills Bills Bills.’

  7. I went to a vocational high school too. The cover letters that they had me write? Terrible.

  8. I wrote maybe 20 resumes and cover letters + filled out longer-than-necessary online applications before I got a job. At least half didn’t write back.

    What I listened to while I wrote all those things? Marching music. I went to Pandora and typed in “John Philip Sousa.” Yes, really. It won’t make you cool. Just makes you keep going forward.

    Now I have a web developer job at a place that sells crafting supplies. Sometimes I get to play with polyclay for work.

  9. Half of these songs are on me Exam playlist. It’s all about getting into that “I’m the Best” mindset. Great playlist!

  10. Gonna be streaming this playlist all week. Trying to seal the deal on a great J-O-B this Thursday. Gonna rock this ish like a bad ass muthafunka (well, as much as a structural engineer can pull off bad ass muthafunka)

    • Good luck! Get the job, we’ll celebrate with a shot (or two)..Don’t get the job, we’ll drown your sorrows and bitch about how they’re screwed without you. But you’ll get the job!

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