Results for: you need help
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The Comment Awards Are Bubbly Inside and Out
“‘Raw-dogging some pre-pickles in a Sodastream’ made me spit take my very boring Diet Coke.”
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The Comment Awards Are Chewing the Ice
“My inner voice keeps going ‘Shane Shane Shane, Carmen Carmen Carmen’ exactly like the weird soundtrack from Season 3.”
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The Comment Awards Are Watching Wishbone
“You are home here!”
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The Comment Awards Are Dressing for Success
“Damn, I dressed like #5 every day this summer and yet experienced a distinct and disappointing lack of inevitable reunions with former love interests.”
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The Comment Awards Are Humming Along
“I’m just…I can’t stop watching this and blushing.”
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The Comment Awards Are Wielding Rainbow Lassos
“Thought I’d come back two years on and thank you for this article… I turned out MUCH less straight.”
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The Comment Awards Need a Lesbian Aunt Like Heather Hogan
“Molly’s Aunt Eleanor was the original American Girl lesbian aunt. I’m just saying.”
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The Comment Awards Are Releasing the Bees
“How is Bud Lite like having sex in a canoe?”
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The Comment Awards Are Feeling All Bubbly
“No compensative effervescence is really a pandemic mood.”
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The Comment Awards Are Calling Friends on the Landline From Their Grandma’s Sofa
“Carol, if you are reading this… call me.”
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The Comment Awards Are Slutty, Helpful, and Unable to Wear Shoes
“Carry on thinking about Chef Melissa’s Soup!”
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The Comment Awards Are Saving A Booth For You
“You’re serving up excellent writing with the same generous hand a good diner serves up hash browns!”
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The Comment Awards Are Racing Rainbow Road
“MAKE TRANS ICON BIRDO A MAIN PLAYABLE CHARACTER IN MARIO CART, YOU COWARDS!”
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The Comment Awards Are Swinging for the Fences
“‘A complete homosexual extravaganza?’ Sounds like I finally got an answer to what I want to be when I grow up!”
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The Comment Awards Are Breathing Deep and Voting Early
“She had me at ‘OI! DEAD BOYFRIEND! IT’S OVER, MATE!'”
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The Comment Awards Are Daydreaming of Chessy from the Parent Trap
“Y’all mentioned the Parent Trap but did not mention the Ultimate Mommi: Chessy. The voice. The clothes. Please.”
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The Comment Awards Are Getting Cozy
“My girlfriend has been calling me the Christmas Switch for a year now.”
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The Comment Awards Are Super Into Finger Sports
“Lesbian tennis elbow is real…and not just for tennis enthusiasts.”
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The Comment Awards Are Getting Handsy for Pride
“I started using my fingers a few years ago and never looked back!”
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The Comment Awards Are Really, Really Spooked!
“I rate this article 69/69!”