“I Am Britney Jean” Is The Christmas Present I Always Wanted
“For some reason this movie really wants us to know that sometimes Britney and Jamie Lynn have wrestling matches and Jamie Lynn always wins. Picture that for a minute. Now move on.”
Ari Fitz Is Exploding “The Real World”: The Autostraddle Interview
“I represented my community and I think there are a lot of other people in the house that kind of did them and we just did us and I think that’s what makes the show a really good, almost – if I can say this – positive Real World. I think it’s awesome because we’re us and we lived and we cried and we fucked.”
Once Upon A Time 311: Compulsive Heterosexuality and Queer Temporality
What do you do when your harddrive’s overcome with cheap Disney porn? You reboot that shit! And in the meantime, let’s throw every emotion possible at our characters and audience. Emotions you didn’t know you still had in your little gay body!
Star Trek N00b, Episode 2: The Man Trap (Oh My!)
“Okay, I had a fangirl moment once George Takei appeared on screen.”
American Horror Story 309 Recap: The Yankee Eyeball Swap
Is this show ridiculous? Of course! Am I at all interested in watching TV shows that DON’T feature a talking severed head of Kathy Bates? NOPE NOPE NOPASAURUS REX!
QUIZ: Which of Sleepy Hollow’s Mills Sisters Is Your Imaginary Girlfriend?
To help us through this difficult time, we turn to the time-honored genre as brought to us by such venerated texts as Seventeen and CosmoGirl: the quiz that promises to deliver your true “type.”
Two and Half Men’s Portrayal Of A Trans Woman Is (Shocker!) Not Respectful
On the latest episode of Two and a Half Men, Jon Cryer’s character starts dating a trans woman. Despite what you may have heard, their interactions are pretty much as disrespectful and tasteless as you would have expected from a show like this.
Once Upon A Time 310: This Doesn’t Even Make Sense Anymore
There is a scene in this episode involving Snow and Charming taking on a Medusa that looks like she’s straight out of a Sega Genesis game, and it is ridiculous. I can’t even describe to you the completely ludicrous nature of this scene, I really can’t.
Star Trek N00b, Episode 1: The Cage (of Forced Heterosexuality)
“The Talosians realize that Pike isn’t sold, and try to seduce him with a bizarre harem illusion with Vina as a green exotic dancer. Dayum, Pike. You’ve got some weird fantasies.”
American Horror Story Episode 308 Recap: The Sacred Faking
“Apparently the witches’ journey to New Orleans was just like the Oregon Trail, only with less fiber and more smelly vaginas! This fucking show, you guys. This. Fucking. Show.”
Glee Episode 508 Recap: Previously Unaired Christmas Gets A Little Too Much Air
What drug were the Glee writers on while designing this year’s Christmas special? That question and more will not be answered in this week’s recap!
Once Upon A Time Recap Episode 309: Gay-Ass Mommy Issues
At this point, we’ll be lucky if we make it out of the season without a reveal that Pongo is the father of Rapunzel who is married to Smee who is secretly the child of Flounder who is actually the son of one of the scary trees from Snow White.
Glee Episode 507 Recap: Puppet Masterpiece Theater Should Girl It Up Maybe
This week on Glee, everybody turned in to a muppet and Santana and Dani didn’t make out!
The Completely Ultimate Best Moments (So Far) of Walking Dead’s New Queer Couple
For the second week in a row, The Walking Dead has delivered us some queer lady goodness. Let’s relive those moments now.
American Horror Story Episode 307 Recap: The One With The Zombie Threesome
Welcome to the seventh episode of American Horror Story, featuring an award-winning musical score by Hans Zimmer. I’m sorry, that’s not Hans Zimmer; it’s two goblins humping on a Casio keyboard. My mistake.
Glee Episode 506 Recap: Movin’ Out Of F*cks To Give
This week on Glee, everybody sang Billy Joel songs and everything hurt!
The Walking Dead Brings Another Queer Chick Named Tara To TV, We Rejoice
Let’s all hope and pray that this Tara has better luck than her predecessors.
The Adventures of Tiny Pineapple 104: Worst Flippin’ Day Ever, Dang It
I hope next week’s episode involves a girl on a bike, DeAnne Smith. Maybe you could pull some strings?
Once Upon A Time Episode 308 Recap: Magical Daddy Issues
I hope you like dad jokes, because this recap is chock full of them.
American Horror Story 306 Recap: Fond Memories of the Jazz Age
Welcome to the sixth episode of American Horror Story, where I come face to face with my greatest fear: bad New Orleans accents!