Results for: straight people watch
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The Comment Awards Are Mild & Annoyed
“Could you not have shipped out some PPE before we read this article? I just spit out my tea laughing, and probably infected the tomato plants.”
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The Comment Awards Are Racing Rainbow Road
“MAKE TRANS ICON BIRDO A MAIN PLAYABLE CHARACTER IN MARIO CART, YOU COWARDS!”
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The Comment Awards Are Donating To Autostraddle
“Hello, is this a safe space where we can discuss the complete emotional dismantling perpetrated by Heather Hogan’s letter accompanying the fundraiser?”
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The Comment Awards Think They Might Be Kinda Gay
“We need a commercial with Sarah McLachlan’s ‘Angel’ playing over the image of a queer teenager finding nothing but Good Housekeeping in their search results.”
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The Comment Awards Are Watching Old Dykes On Tiktok
“I am 100% buying this book with the money my homophobic aunt and uncle gave me for the holidays!”
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The Comment Awards Are Bisexual And Contain Multitudes
“I too have attracted more quality human beings since I came out. Also quality cats and dogs but I am not sure it’s related.”
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The Comment Awards Do Not Want a Sex Button
“I love that someone actually answered that they’re a ‘soup chef’.”
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The Comment Awards Are Eating Leftover Chocolates in Bed
“I’m calling it Carbmas now.”
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The Comment Awards Have a Pocket Full of Punshine
“We call them junderpants.”
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The Comment Awards Are Brewing Beer to Make Men Sad
Every day we stray further from Darren.
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The Comment Awards Are So F*cking Thankful For You, And For…Exes?
“What if I told you the overprocessing was coming from inside the house?”
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The Comment Awards Are Crying Over Lesbian Birds
“What’s the acceptable dressing for a Man Salad? Crude oil? Turpentine?”
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The Comment Awards Are Going to the Motherf*cking World Cup Final
“I wasn’t a sports gay until this article and now I love sports.”
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The Comment Awards are Scissoring in a Hammock in the Woods
“I didn’t know that all I wanted was a movie where lesbian Kate Winslet travels back in time for dinosaur adventures until I was misled by this graphic.”
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The Comment Awards Might Be A Leshbian
“Thin Mints is the uber-domme of lesbians. She walks into a room and owns it. No other cookie challenges her. She wears dark colors, and her clothes and hair are rigidly smooth. Bow down and acknowledge her.”
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The Comment Awards Are Safe, Weird, & Rolled In Something
“I finally understand why the straights were so worried we were going to ruin marriage. Apparently, they wanted to do it themselves.”
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The Comment Awards Are Wearing Discovery Flannel
DO NOT use genitalia as a champagne flute.
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The Comment Awards Believe in Love
MY FRIENDS GOT MARRIED, TWO MORE STRADDLERS GOT MARRIED! Also there are comments!
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The Comment Awards Are Looking Very Shane Today
“Glad to see my initial horror at being sent from Autostraddle to an article titled “Murderer Fingered By Parrot” was at least partially misplaced.”
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The Comment Awards Are Cracking That Safe, If You Know What I Mean
We’ve got tennis sex, Antiope, and the quantum-physics of Kristen Stewart’s wardrobe – it’s the Comment Awards!