The Comment Awards Do Not Want a Sex Button

Hello, perfect friends! Did you know there is an app (several, I assume) that will track your cycles, if you have them, and tell you when things are happening in your body? I mention this because you’d think, at 35, I would understand that when I feel like crying all day long, drive fairly badly, and stop on the way home for a bottle of whisky and a cheese danish, it just might have to do with my cycle? But no, I always just assumed I was simply having a terrible day. Now, thanks to an app, I know when I am both having a terrible day and ovulating! Thanks, technology!

(That was yesterday. The danish helped!)

This week, Reneice made the most beautiful buttermilk biscuits.

Is A-Camp your happy place, like it is mine? Donate or apply for a campership today!

Mal! Blum! New! Music! Eeeeeee!

Alexis re-wrote a bunch of popular movies to be super gay in The Black Lesbian Movie Project. These sound so good!

Rachel wrote about dating someone who’s intro astrology when you’re so skeptical your name might as well be Dana Scully. It’s possible, people! Our differing passions and interests make the world go ’round. Truly.

The L Word reboot is on its way. Let’s go lesbians! Let’s go!

I LOVED THIS SO DAMN MUCH: Proudly Black, Fat, Queer and Making a Home for Myself in Cosplay.

The straights are at it again. One of the items on Straight People Watch this week is a sex button. A SEX button! A sex BUTTON. On your nightstand! Which you push! When you want! To have sex! With your spouse! Instead! Of asking them!

Finally, Heather reviewed Rebecca Henderson, the actor who played overalls-clad Lizzy in Russian Doll! They talked about their cats!

And then there were your comments!

On Femme Brûlée: My Perfect Buttermilk Biscuits:

The Bring Me Flours Award to Letitia:

Ok, so now I’m crying!! Especially since I can’t make A-Camp this year and bring you another bag of flour, Reneice. Please, wear that cupcake crop top again in my honor though. (Everyone else: I promise you will thank me.)

On Sunday Funday Is Obsessed With the New Killing Eve Trailer:

The Pronoun Party Award to Rachel:

I doubt James Woods will, so I will thank for the lesson on the word “they.

On Monday Roundtable: How Could I Forget?

The Dog Days Award to Caitlin:
my dog and my mom have the same birthday and despite my mom owning that birthday for twenty more years of my life than my dog, i remember Hank’s first. read into my relationship w my mother as you will

On The Black Lesbian Movie Project:

The Casting Couch Award to Mina:

If I had a billion dollars I would back every single one of these plus a Brown Sugar update starring Sanaa Lathan and I wanna say Gabrielle Union because I love her and want them to develop a rep for starring opposite each other in every black lesbian romcom and remake possible, but will accept Meagan Good too, as childhood besties who’ve bonded over a love of hip-hop and fall in love.

On 95% of Lesbians Keep Their Fingernails Short, All Hands On Deck:

The Sweet Little Figs Award to Carmen SanDiego:

I love that someone actually answered they are a “soup chef

On “The L Word” Reboot: Lots of Bette, Shane and Alice, a “Little Browner and a Little Less Cis”:

The Saving Private Williams Award to Chloe:

On 11 Queers Share the Best and Worst Lines They’ve Gotten on Dating Apps:

The Long Con Award to Claire:

I messaged someone first in July of 2018 and they messaged me back about a week ago saying “would you believe I’ve been at the DMV this whole time?

And on Straight People Watch: Winter 2019:

The Worst Timeline Award to Linnea:

a neat thing to do is try to arrange these items in order! -Revert your apartment from a man repeller into a man trap -Drink from the flask -Influence his internet to make him propose to you -Game Over wedding shirt -Use the LoveSync buttons -Lasagna gender reveal -Parent of horny surfer -Son on cover of Esquire -Matching chapstick/dick shirts (Chapsdick?) -Funeral Mix n Match!

And the Man Repeller Award to Carmen SanDiego:

Do the Interiors Therapists also work outside of the house? Can I make my entire block Man-Repellent? How about my entire neighborhood?

See a comment that needs to be here? E-mail me! Queergirlblogs [at]

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Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.


      • you jest but i teach preschool so i’m intimately familiar with every single paw patrol pup, but only when spoken in two year old pidgin

          • teach is a strong word ’cause they’re two, but yes! i wrangle preschoolers! they’re adorable, full of energy, and very invested in learning everything about the world, which are all things i aspire to

  1. On the period tracker app: I’m very fond of Clue. Free app, no nonsense, nothing pink. Science based. Just did a quick check, and I didn’t see any gendered words. You can add or remove features to track. But my favourite feature is the automatic calculations on cyles, because I have an irregular cycle. When I visit my gyno I just grab my phone and she has all the info she needs and it’s super handy. Only wish the notes worked easier.

    Just noticed that a feature on their site is currently about being trans and having a period:'s-like-to-get-your-period-when-you're-trans

    • I do the same thing, just hand my phone to my Gyno but I use P-Tracker
      It has some features for people trying to conceive that I never used like entering when you had sex and when you get symptoms before your ovulation…

  2. thanks queer girl! in honor of this birthday-adjacent award here’s Hank in all his glory:

    ps he has his own instagram @long_boy_hank shameless pandering for the lengthy lad

  3. Thank goddess for the comment awards! Otherwise I would have missed another riveting installment of Straight People Watch.

  4. Wow! thank you and thank you most to Danase – i can’t wait to see what she says in another 7 months.

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