The Comment Awards Are Cracking That Safe, If You Know What I Mean

 width=

Hi kittens! Are you having a good Pride month? Have all the straight people in your life sent you the customary bouquets, skittles and rainbow Converse? Mine haven’t arrived yet either, but I’m sure they’re on their way. In the meantime, be your own hero!

This week, Stef brought us some heavy-hitting news about Kristen Stewart’s love life and/or cat-sitting schedule.

Nora wrote up a handy guide to dressing like Lena Waithe. (Here’s hoping she publishes a follow-up, “How to Date People Who Dress Like Lena Waithe.”)

I have a feeling you might want to give yourself the gift of watching this music video from Be Steadwell.

This is everything I want: 4 Dapper Plus-Size Sewing Projects for Beginners and Pros. Thank you, Shannon!

Here are 37 s’more recipes that Chandra won’t eat.

It Appears That Straight Women Are Not Okay.

And then there were your comments!


On Sunday Funday Is Wishing Josephine Baker The Happiest Birthday:

The Exitant, M.D. Award to Stacy:

UM SO. UM. THE FACE OF PRIDE ARTICLE? HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS FOR MY STATE – ONLY MY GP! MY DOCTOR! I KNEW SHE WAS AWESOME, I KNEW ALL THIS BUT UM. YO! THAT’S MY DOCTOR! i mean now you know who my doctor is but i don’t care lol

On 37 S’more Recipes That’ll Leave You Asking for S’more:

The Five O’Clock Somewhere Award to Freakazoid:

It’s never too early for orgasm…

On Style Thief: How To Dress Like Lena Waithe:

The Style Thief: Antiope Award to CMo_Allthetime:

I spotted Ms. Waithe at the LA showing of Fun Home, so let me verify, that despite the seeming impossibility of this level of amazing-ness. She is real. Thanks for breaking down her look. Who’s next? Rhea Butcher? Britney Nichols? The ever-evolving chameleon Gaby Dunn? Antiope?

On Escape Room: Lesbian Relationship Edition!

The Craft Award to Nate:

We made a pentagram with the rope and escaped via witchcraft. P sure that was actually the way to win.

The LBD Award to Sally:

I feel the safe-breaking was an extension of the performative experience; an allegory for the final, desperate attempts to crack the metaphorical chastity belt of lesbian bed death.

On 21 Valuable Unsolicited Insights From The “Lesbian, Comes Out” Column on Tweetdeck:

The Soup Chef Award to verycoolname and Carmen SanDiego:

Is the “lesbian tennis” porn subgenre just low-quality compilations of every Dana Fairbanks sex scene?

On RETURNING A SWEATSHIRT?? Kristen Stewart Seen Leaving Ex Alicia Cargile’s Home:

The Actual Fashion Editor Award to Nora (feat. Stef):

wow super weird i definitely have not been wearing the same outfit for three days

On Pretty Little Liars Episode 717 Recap: Jealous or Crazy?

The Praise Vanderjesus Award to Eva:

Watching Mona Vanderwaal sorting all of this out and casually adding a musical number to the proceedings had me wondering why they’ve wasted time having anything else happen on this the past few seasons.

On It Appears That Straight Women Are Not Okay:

The It Happened to Me Award to Sally:

Bless you for publicising this grave issue. It’s hard to believe, but I actually know real life straight women, so this really hits home to me – my own sister spent approx 6 months and 23 paint tester pots trying to find the perfect shade of grey to decorate her bedroom. I’m not sure what the best way is to proceed – my instincts say charity single – I just really want everyone to stay safe out there today.

And the Alarm Bells Award to Em:

My village has fewer than 500 people in it, but we have a store devoted to fairy gardens. I used to think that this was just a weird straight lady with a sad business plan, but now I realize it’s a cry for help. Should I try to liberate her and/or the fairies this weekend?


See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

Queer Girl is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. She's working on a children's book, she's on Twitter, and she thinks you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

queer has written 137 articles for us.

13 Comments

  1. Aw, shucks. Thanks.

    True story. I was talking to my mom about the fairy store this morning, and now she’s super interested in going. I am now worried about her, too.

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.