Lesbian scandals that have been clogging our Google Reader so let’s get ’em all out there: sex! murder! terrible fark-ready things! It’s been a year since Dan Choi visited the Rachel Maddow show and came out — he returns and is f*cking brilliant. Also: that’s gay, best interrupting moments & more!

The history of lesbian closeting in Hollywood — and why, even today, so many lesbians prefer to stay in the closet. Also a Desperate Housewives lesbian storyline mini-cap, Tila Tequila’s Australian karaoke, an amazing Taylor Swift parody and Lindsay Lohan’s new interview.

L Magazine’s gender-bending photoshoot features Nicole Pacent of Anyone But Me, sidenote new ep of Anyone But Me! Adam Lambert calls the shots and the shots are “theatrical, out there” and “proud to be gay.” Also; Lady Gaga in 3D, lesbian werewolf movie, Chloe Sevigny’s Big Gay Interview, Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend IRL, The Princess and the Frog goes gender-neutral, Jason Mraz/Elton John, Sean Hayes/Kristin Chenoweth and more!

Apparently the gay agenda isn’t working today ’cause no one wants to be a lesbian BUT who cares, This American Life’s 2002 ep about how homos aren’t crazy is streaming online this week! Also; homophobia in African-American churches, Johnny Weir on “That’s Gay!”, the upside of depression, Caster Semenya is not the real Middlesex, Clay Aiken’s HRC speech FTW, Crystal Renn interviewed, “Bro-etry,” 10 Reasons to Avoid the Phone and more!

Ellen DeGeneres invites Constance McMillen to her show and Cat Cora speaks out to support Constance. No one believes the guy who says he booked Adam Lambert & Lady Gaga for a launch party at the local park. Johnny Weir is a tough man to track down, are Glambert & Gaga performing together, Tina Fey in Esquire magazine, a new lesbian sci-fi flick, The Real L Word sets a debut date, Ellen Von Unwerth’s lesbo-sexy music video, Jennifer Coolidge, Kathy Griffin and Ugly Betty’s gay kiss.

Oscars 2010 “Live-Blog”/Open Thread with Autostraddle! Plus we make up for a year without film coverage by giving you our opinion on the 2010 Oscar Nominees! Get out your laptop, there will be lots of gay people, but no Jay Manuel.

Sara’s adorable interview with the Boston Globe and Tegan & Sara’s new Alligator video (dancing in winter coats!). Also; Kathy Griffin’s SVU guest spot has her lesbian lusting for Olivia Benson (REALLY!), Lady Gaga & RedOne in the studio, “We Have to Stop Now” photoshoot, Ewan McGregor’s gay sex w/Jim Carrey, ANTM’s maybe-lesbian, GLAAD honors Wanda Sykes & Scary Spice gets alternative lifestyle haircut.

Planned Parenthood has a response ad to Focus on the Family’s Anti-Choice SuperBowl ad and we think you’re gonna love it! The Advocate talks to a pro-gay-marriage Saints football player, top 10 banned super bowl ads, John McCain is cranky and hates gay people, girls who won’t date taller, Beyonce and Rihanna have blonde hair, GIRL SCOUT COOKIE MANIA and moms try to out-hot their daughters.

According to the pro-DADT “logic,” there’s really no reason for lesbians to get kicked out. A straight male tells Autostraddle his opposition to DADT. Also; anti-homophobia ad hits production snag and The Lunar New Year’s gay inclusion.

It’s DADT News, and we’ve got good news and bad news. Dan Choi has been called back to active duty! Yes, really! Autostraddle catches up with DADT discharge Lissa Young for her reaction to last week’s hearing (“exhilarating and infuriating.”) Study shows black women disproportionately discharged under DADT (and the affects of all anti-gay laws hit the black community harder). Also; Iowans and New Jersey on gay marriage actions/reactions, Rhode Island’s gay marriage bill and more on Judge Walker.

The Superbowl’s ad spots are in hot contention — and the recent acceptance of an anti-abortion ad and rejection of a gay dating ad have inspired a lot of controversy. But is the “true story” featured in the abortion ad even true? And is the gay dating ad company being honest about their motives too?

Glaad says Valentine’s Day is secretly gay, The Real World DC mini-recap, Out Media’s $10K contest for college queers (you could win!), Modern Family’s gay dad interviewed, Rihanna heats bisexual rumors, Porita behind-the-scenes, Gaga & Cyndi Lauper continue their talk show tour and talk about their gay followings, Ellen will be dancing on TV for 3 more years, best Single Ladies parody ever, LiLo misses her flight, Melissa Etheridge’s new album, and Janeane Garofalo dream job on 30 Rock.

Bisexual Lindsay Lohan wants to get back together with Sam, but is now sticking to the “Sam is the only girl I ever liked” storyline. We know it’s just a story, but we explain why it matters that they’re making her tell it. Gaga exemplifies the modern age with her stardom. Natalie Portman is working on a female stoner comedy. Oh, and we shamelessly ask you to vote for us in some contests!

Much ado about actresses surviving the ordeal of lesbian kisses — why do these confessions make headlines? Autostraddle & the ladies of AfterEllen weigh in. Also; Lindsay Lohan looks cute again!, Andy Warhol’s TV show, more GLEE guests (NPH!), Law & Order SVU features Mischa Barton and a legitimately hilarious Golden Globes wardrobe breakdown.

Day Three of the Prop 8 Trial recap, in which the other side wants to talk about how gay men sleep around, schools teach children how to be gay, and that because we have Will & Grace, we don’t need equal rights. What they don’t know is that Will & Grace has been off the air for a few years. The plot thickens…

Rob Tisiani explains it all for you and how Yes on 8 prefers to spread false homophobic messages rather than actually combat the real issues surrounding child sexual abuse — it’s a must-see. Also WSJ takes Obama to task on DADT and looks ahead towards our first hearing on the issue since it was enacted in 1993, and Jon Stewart does Keith Olberman.

Jennifer Beals shares tips for heavenly living, we play photohunt! Sundance darling The Kids Are Alright features Annette Bening and Julianne Moore playing a lesbian couple, Tracy Ullman does Rachel Maddow and Lady Gaga raises $ for Haiti. Bring it On has so many straight-to-video sequels, why is it such a smash hit? Plus, is indie dead? Will anyone agree to be in a Real L Word scene besides the cast? Will Queen Latifah adopt a child or three from Haiti?

So many events this weekend, like SAG Awards, Hope for Haiti & Sundance! An arrest has been made in the Buffalo hate crime case against a young lesbian! We say goodbye to Conan & Kim Stolz’s hair and hello to civil unions in Hawaii! Porn stars are maybe lesbians, Salute Your Shorts is somewhere now, the NOH8 guys on MSNBC and LADY GAGA COOKIES EXIST.

They should replace that show “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” with “Are You Smarter Than A Proposition 8 Attorney, Yes You Are.”

Adam Lambert talks to Oprah about higher powers, being a homo & having no regrets, goes shopping on Melrose and performs (and Queerty doesn’t like it). There’s a new book about lesbians throughout history. Nerve has a list of 10 child stars you probably want to do now that they’re legal. Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker will have more gays this year. And Tim Tebow has filmed a commercial for Focus on the Family.