Lesbians Gone Wild! Murder! Sex! Drugs! Boobs! Also, Tragedy! Also, Parties!

TABLOID:
Every day we have to wade through swamps of tabloid-ready lesbian scandal stories to get to the good stuff, like Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and Promgate 2010 (this just in: Constance was invited to go have prom with the cooler kids in a liberal “activist-type” high school in California). Today we are going to empty our Google Reader because honestly, this week has been a big one for Gay Scandal Headlines, it’s gotten almost 50-50 with other coverage, which is 40% Promgate, and 10% DADT. Consider this list the equivalent of standing in line at the Homosexual Supermarket/Fark, scanning the tabloid headlines:

Bridezilla: In Swansea South Wales, a lesbian spent her wedding night in jail after the 40-year old bride celebrated her civil partnership by drinking 8 pints of lager and champagne, showing her breasts to the doorman, calling him a pervert, and hitting him on the head with her stilleto heel. (@wedding news uk)

Just Like Suicide Girls: The woman who had an affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband also had affairs with other women, which, you can imagine, does wonders for how she’s being discussed in the media. (@examiner)

Lesbian Panic/Psycho: So this guy found out that his daughter was having a lesbian affair with this other woman, and then he killed her and put her body in the freezer! (@foxnews)

GAY JESUS: Texas students doing a play with a gay Jesus character get in big trouble. It was moved from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. to make it more appropriate. But I hope they know that’s still too early for Adam Lambert to make out with Tommy. At least in public: “A private audience of invited guests and relatives of the cast will be the only people allowed to watch the play, the school said. Critics say the Terrence McNally play, which premiered in 1998 in New York, is blasphemous.”(@chron)

Story About a Twisted Psychotic Terrible Woman or a Story About Homophobia: This never would’ve happened on Muppet Babies: “A nursery manager accused of shaking babies and forcing them to eat vomit claims she is the victim of a hate campaign by colleagues who disliked the fact she is a lesbian.” (@pinknewsuk)

Hot for Teacher: A P.E. teacher and “high-profile sportswoman” in Queensland has been banned from teaching after having a lesbian affair with one of her students. She also asked the student if she thought she was hot and took all the girls on field trips to lesbian bars. She also “gave gifts and fluffy toys – identified as a ‘classic signpost of grooming behaviour,’ along with provocative photos of herself taken in her bedroom.”

SEX! The homosexual age of sexual consent in Guernsey will be lowered to 16-years-old, politicians have agreed. ‘Cause that’s when straight people can do it, so it’s only fair obvi. (@bbc)

Dinah Shore Unbound: I read about Dinah Shore Weekend in the gay press every day, but today I came across an article about it in the mainstream press from 2007, The New York Times. It’s really interesting, there are strippers involved: Daughters of the Dinah, Unbound. (@nytimes)

Runaway Mom: Remember Lisa Miller, the ex-gay Mom who took her kid and disappeared when the court granted custody to her lesbian ex? Well, the Church & Family Council might be the ones housing her. (@lezgetreal)

GAY PROMGATE 2010 — the prologue:
Guess fucking what? Before Constance’s school became the school that wouldn’t let the lesbian go to prom, it was the school that kicked out a transgender student just for funsies, ’cause “Juin’s case was a situation where a transgender student wanted to attend school dressed in feminine clothing,” said Bennett, “and the school district would not even let him attend school.” I think Constance & her gay Mom need to get the fuck out of there!

The ALCU reports:

The reasons for a student’s suspension are supposed to be noted on the suspension form, according to Bennett, but that part of Baize’s suspension notice was left blank. So the ACLU sent a letter to the school on Baize’s behalf asking the school administration for the reasoning behind his suspension— information the ACLU would need in order to challenge Baize’s suspension in court. “But the school would not talk to us about the situation,” said Bennett.

I’d like to point out that all those people who kicked out that kid have jobs, and I don’t.

DADT:
It’s been a year since Dan Choi appeared on The Rachel Maddow Show and came out, which led to the rest of the year when he became Super Activist. He returned to the show to talk about recently being arrested, how he feels about Obama and Gates’ actions and directives, and new adjustments to DADT. Although I’m not sure how I feel about the last minute, from minutes 5-7 you are going to see that this is a legitimately amazing man (and he’s my age!), and that he’s just really, really, really, really right.

I’MMA LET YOU FINISH:
The greatest interruptions of all time; including really the best interruption ever which was indeed Kanye West during the Hurricane Katrina telethon because he spoke the truth!

COMMERCIALS:
“We spend a lot of time ranting about bad advertising, but sometimes it is nice to give credit where credit is due. So thank you, Nike, for illustrating how to properly market your product to women.” (@jezebel)

THAT’S GAY:
The newest episode has tips on how to be a gay politician!

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2725 articles for us.

23 Comments

  1. Dude, somebody on Autostraddle really really wants to rename Constance to Candace.

    It’s great to see her get so much support from so many places, but I still just want to scream. It should be so easy to just let her go to HER prom. It’s just a damn dance and if the scariest thing in the world is a lesbian wearing pants to a dance for a few hours, then OMG does that town need to read a newspaper.

    Dan Choi is exactly the kind of man I would want my son to grow up to be.

    • Yeah, the poor girl said to Ellen that she wanted to go to HER prom, but she appreciated the other offers. We are assuming that she only speaks to her gf in school and has no friends! When I went to my prom, it was more to be with my friends than my date! It’s a huge difference to go to your own vs someone else’s prom.

      But the gestures are kind.

  2. Oh dear, that Bridezilla story made me feel bad, I had 6 and a bit pints last night, oops a daisy! But I didnt show my boobs to anyone or feel the need to hit anyone with my shoe so it’s ok, she must just be a lightweight!

  3. I like the Nike ads. Not that this helps my compulsive desire to purchase athletic shorts.

    Dan Choi is amazing I think DADT is such a waste of time, energy and our tax dollars. Now with the big ‘ win’ on health care reform the political capital the administration has to spend on trying to repeal it this year may not be there especially with this ‘study’ also known as the appearance of doing something but really doing nothing.

  4. Wow, this makes my life seem so tame. Maybe even boring. The highlight of my week has been working on a new novel.

    Susan Gabriel
    author of Seeking Sara Summers
    (a novel about coming out later in life)

  5. Seriously this whole fix has me thinking that my life is way too boring for me to be a real lesbian and I need to make out with my straight neighbor and snort coke off her baby’s stomach or something

    • Just so you know your outdated, bigoted views are not long for this world. Soon you’ll have to keep all those ugly feelings pent up inside for fear of what people will think of you. So good riddance to you too and have fun in the closet!

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