Hello and welcome to Autostraddle’s Live-Blog of the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. This live-blog occurs in the grand tradition of former live-blogs, which we do for you because we don’t have any friends IRL, or else we live in NYC where traveling to see our friends costs $2 more than we have.
Previous breathtaking liveblogs have included New York Senate Hearings on Gay Marriage, New Jersey Committee Voting on Same-Sex Marriage, Maine & Washington Gay Marriage Election Day, the Glee Premiere and last year’s L.A. Glaad Awards.
Let’s get this out of the way: creating Autostraddle has been very educational. Like for example we never really cared much about Award Shows before. So we prelude this with the warning that we are not experts.
You can read our picks for the best movies of 2010 at the bottom of the post.
Oscars Live-Blog Starts Now!
12:05 AM: Here’s a roundup of the winners tonight:
Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds
Best Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique, Precious
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Best Animated Feature Film: Up
Best Documentary: The Cove
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: “The Weary Kind” from Crazy Heart
That’s a wrap. Have a great night everyone!
MIDNIGHT – HURT LOCKER HURT LOCKER HURT LOCKER
YAY FOR IT NOT BEING JAMES CAMERON! AND YAY FOR THE LADY!
11:55 PM: A LADY WON! IT’S A LADY!
11:53 PM: First woman or first African-American, it’s like the Democratic Primaries in here for Best Director.
11:49 PM: Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress for Miss Congeniality, I mean The Blind Side! Ooh, she just gave a shout-out to sexual orientation! Almost sounded like she said “my lover, Meryl Streep,” which would’ve been hot.
Speaking of lesbians:
11:41 PM: All the cool kids are going to the parties.
Elton John’s party, an AIDS fundraiser, is cool:
11:39 PM: Best Actress nominees! WordPress just basically stopped working on my computer, I think.
11:26 PM: Michelle Pfieffer on Jeff Bridges. Julianne Moore on Colin Firth. Someone else on George Clooney. Tim Robbins on Morgan Freeman. Jeff Bridges wins for Big Lebwoski!
11: 25 PM: They’re doing the weird thing where the people stand up there and tell weird awkward stories again. I wonder if this is fun for the people who are there, ’cause this is like their friends and stuff, and we’re just like watching. Like we’re watching their party?
11:20 PM: A lot of time has passed
11:09 PM: There are only two parts Keanu Reeves should ever play:
2. Theadore Logan of “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”
11:06 PM: This humor is getting geriatric! Haha, oh, do they read the same job descriptions every year? You know no one broadcasts our company picnic. One time, we had an Autostraddle picnic where because of budget constraints, eight of us ate from two gigantic bags of McDonald’s french-fries? True story.
Oh, something just won. Best Editing for The Hurt Locker, to two adorable geeky people.
11:03 PM: Do you ever forget that Matt Damon the Action Guy is the same guy who wrote Good Will Hunting? Sometimes when I get older, age almost seems like a big enough thing to have in common with somebody. So much changes in a year. Honestly. Think about where you were last year when you decided to maybe just turn off The Oscars and read the paper in the morning to see who won Best Picture, which you will inevitably respond to with a shrug?
11:00 PM: That Modern Family promo was the highlight of the evening.
10:55 PM: Avatar for Best um, directing I think? Don’t quote me on that just yet. “Jim” is the new “Marty.” My number one feeling when I see James Cameron is “Ew. Ew. UM. EW!” is that weird?
10:50 PM: See James Cameron, here’s proof it would have been better with humans. Not BIGGER, but better, and you know bigger isn’t always better. Trust people to see what you see, if it’s worth seeing!
10:45 PM: Oh, thank the lawd. Dancing.
Best Cinematography: Mauro Fiore for Avatar.
Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker.
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker.
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria.
10:40 PM: OMG James Taylor. Has been making me cry since 1984.
Brittany Murphy. Michael Jackson. Natasha Richardson. I’m still kinda sad about Brittany Murphy.
10:40 PM: Death montage of learning time
10:37 PM: Charlize Theron is also bored
10:35 PM: Sandra Bullock doesn’t get a montage, she just has to read that shit and put the emotions into the words. Winner is Avatar for cinematographer.
10:29 PM: John Travolta is on the stage.
10:26 PM: I can’t believe they cut the f*cking musical numbers! Legit pissed. That was some lady making out just then, was it? I dunno what just happened, maybe it was a hug. Hurt Locker just won something. Oh, sound mixing.
10:23 PM: OMG, is this their apology for not nominating The Dark Knight last year? Keep in mind I only know this ’cause I read an article in New York Magazine about it, not b/c I have seen any of these movies.
10:22 PM: Zac Efron is aging out of his boi stage.
10:20 PM: NO ONE WARNED ME THERE WOULD BE SCARY MOVIES. Oh the misogyny! It’s raining women!
10:19 PM: Kristen Stewart and that guy give an intro to a tribute to Horror.
10:16 PM : Durrrr. Best Makeup: Star Trek. Best Art Direction went to Avatar. Now they are doing Paranormal Activity, how weird obvi for sure they are watching Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office.
10:09 PM: Costume Design. Lady Gaga wins! I mean… who knew there were so many like period films this year? You know what movie I really like? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Someone just won a directing award for something. Art direction I think.
10:06 PM: I wonder if Law & Order is on somewhere. I have work to do! Production Design. For Avatar. Couldn’t they have done that privately. Get a room, Avatar! You can come all over yourself!
10:05 PM: I predict Taylor Swift will sweep the rest of the evening. She’s the Queen of the World!
10:01 PM: OK Mo’Nique & her husband are the new cutest strai couple ever, sorry Brad & Ang you didn’t show up and sorry Jim and Pam you are not real.
10:00 PM: Obvi! I hope she has a speech with lots of feelings! Mo’Nique for best supporting actress of the universe. She wins 10 points. Actually her interview earlier with Barabara Walters was amazing.
9:56 PM: Best Actress award. I love Maggie Gyllenhall and that’s not just because I am one degree removed from someone who had sex with her, and therefore feel somehow involved with her. Oh this is the Mo’nique Award!
9:52 PM: What if Queen Latifah just came out right now? Just for funsies?
9:50 PM: Jefferey Fletcher, who adapted the novel Pull by Ruby, wins the award! I like it when people adapt novels. When I worked at a literary agency, people were always sending us novels that they pitched as being good ideas to turn into movies. Like then just write a screenplay, you know?
“Precious boys and girls everywhere, all the cast & crew, anyone who’s kept believing in me. My two brothers who supported me in every way. My role models, my heroes, my mother Betty, angel of my world. My father Alphonse. I spent so much time with us and taught us everything. I’m sorry I’m drawing a blank right now, I thank everyone.”
He said that really breathlessly, so I liked it.
9:48 PM: Adapted Screenplay Award presented by Jake Gyllenhal and someone else. Huh, who knew that Precious was based on the novel Push by Sapphire. I did not.
9: 45 PM: Okay, all the movies that were nominated this year except for Precious is about dudes. Right? Maybe that’s why it’s like blah blah blah.
9:39 PM: OMG, Julie Goldman did it first, the Avatar song. Ben Stiller must have seen Gayvatar for real!
9:36 PM: Ok catch up time!
Best Short Film (Animated). The 2010 winner was Logorama by Nicolas Schmerkin.
Best Short Film (Documentary). That award went to Music by Prudence by Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett.
Best Original Screenplay. Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker.
Best Original Song in a feature film.The Weary Kind from Crazy Heart.
Best Animated Feature Film, Up.
Best Supporting Actor – Christoph Watlz from Inglourious Basterds.
9:35 PM: Was that awesome or totally weird? Diane Sorvino moment or Fiona Apple moment?
9:34 PM: Is he gay? WHO IS THAT WOMAN? WHO IS SHE TELL ME NOW
9:30 PM: Where do short films thrive? Like, where can you catch a short film on accident without really deliberately seeking out that short film specifically?
9:30 PM: They’re explaining to us why we are supposed to care about short films. I hope Whoopi hasn’t wet her pants.
9:28 PM: SO WEIRD, Zoe Saldana and Casey Mulligan or whatever, what’s her name, they are also wearing similarly conceived dresses, just like Miley and Amanda. Maybe they’re all doing twinsies on purpose. Aw, these girls. Killing me. Dying.
9:25 PM: The Homosexual Twitter says:
9:23: No really. All of these movies feel so familiar to me — literally everything John Hughes did, even Home Alone for Chrissake. But these movies tonight just feel so… HUGE. So far away from me, or else so unspeakably tragic & sad. Nothing bearable and sometimes sweet and close. I guess I don’t go to the movies to escape, I go to find something.
9:22 PM: Duckie is the only thing I can ever handle Jon Cryer doing. EVER.
9:21 PM OSAMGJAJAKSGJAKSJA’KLFJA’JFAKLGJKLAJGA’ISD REUNION OF MY LIFE i need to lay off the all caps, sorry
9:19 PM: So weird, they played this song in Skins today too, I know this march is true. omg, I HAVE SEEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MOVIES. See, every one! I’m not against movies, they just don’t make movies like this anymore. The Breakfast Club has not been topped. IMO. Not even IMHO.
9:17 PM: Claire. OMG JOHN HUGHES TRIBUTE. PARDON ME WHILE I DO SOME FUCKING MOURNER’S KADDISH.
9:15 PM: The Hurt Locker wins for best writing. Doesn’t that sound like a snuff film to anyone else? I’m so glad Tina Fey read that shit out loud, I would not have been able to follow. I mean most Americans can’t even read you know.
9:13 PM: OMG I have had that thought before! That one day movies will star computer graphics people!
9:12 PM: Robert Downey Junior is very Less Than Zero tonight. Is Tina Fey making you wet your pants? Everything feels like an inside joke.
9:05 PM: Someone won something, I think that person’s name was Filet. I MEAN T-BONE.
9:02 PM: Miley Cirus & Amanda Seyfried – they should’ve coordinated to not both wear poofy dresses ’cause that is gonna make it hard to cuddle later. Miley Cirus, when did that chick get famous? Also, does this mean we’re not gonna have the musical performances of the songs during the show? B/c if so I might seriously stop this live-blog right now and just listen to the GLEE! Soundtrack and edit videos.
9:00 PM: SURPRISE! Up! which is the only movie that a significant number of Autostraddlers have actually seen won for Best Animated Film. I wanted Coraline to win. B/c of Amanda Palmer. The guy who made UP also has a wife named Amanda, and so when I heard him say “Amanda,” I was like OMG! And looked up at the teevee, but that was not Amanda Palmer.
8:56 PM: Cameron Diaz & Steve Carrell presenting: “When you’re as good-looking as Cameron & I, it’s a shame to appear in movies where people can’t see your faces…. or bodies.”
8:55 PM: “Everyone wants to go to bed with Jimmy!” Hahaha gay people!
8:48 PM: Christoph Waltz says that Quentin Tarantino took a ship with flying colors across the ocean. Gay! Inglorious Basterds! Well only one person we haven’t heard of can win in a night I think.
8:43 PM: It’s like we’re on a ship! Sailing through the ocean! Pointing out all the lovely tigers, elephants, Academy Award Nominees and bears as we ride down the Amazon! George Clooney has already been on the Jungle Cruise ten times and would rather not, I feel similarly. Oh good it’s over.
8:42 PM: Homosexual Twitter time!
8:36 PM: I feel like we’re at the Yale Club for a reunion with the good ‘ol boys, except Yale is Hollywood, and Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin went to Yale.
8: 33 PM: …and half naked ladies… lots of them! Oh we love a good song-and-dance number.
8:32 PM: Neil Patrick Harris! Let’s start out with a big glittery gay bang, shall we?
8:30 PM: The show is starting, they’re doing that weird thing where they line them up like Miss America, and Gabourey is the only one working it. One last Red Carpet photo:
8:30 PM: Kathy Ireland is standing like I stand when I broke one of my shoes/am drunk.
8:26 PM: Meryl Streep says she likes to see all her friends cleaned up and looking good!
8:23 PM: Kate Winslet is heavenly, Gabourey Sidibe is kickass, Kathy Ireland is SO. WEIRD.
Let’s check in with Homosexual Twitter!
8:22 PM: Miley Cirus still doesn’t know how to stand up straight! It almost makes me like her!
8:21 PM: Tina Fey & Steve Carrell know that it’s not The Emmys because everyone is much better looking.
8:18 PM: Whoopi Goldberg is on the teevee talking about being unable to control her urine. I know it’s not a part of The Oscars, but I have been a Whoopi fan for many years and I find this upsetting.
8:12 PM: What did they talk about at The Oscars when they’d just been invented and they couldn’t constantly be looking back on their decades of greatness?
8:10 PM: Kathy Ireland is speaking like she’s hosting an instructional video for Coldstone Creamery.
8:05 PM: Sherri Shepard. Apparently being grating is a prerequisite for a red carpet position. Here let’s make a gallery for you:
8:00 PM: I prefer her in jeans and a hoodie but DAYUM HELLO KRISTEN STEWART YOU WIN BEST ACTRESS FOR “GENDER PERFORMANCE AT THE OSCARS”/let’s make out
7:45 PM: Barbara Walters is doing a retrospective on Sandra Bullock, Queen of Romantic Comedies. Like the entire special. Actually ever since that morning in 2007 on The View when Barbara asked Joy and the ladies if they ate squirrels/that time I went to The View for Rosie’s birthday and saw how visibly frightened Barbara was of the giant birthday cake, I have disliked Barbara unfortunately. I feel like she hasn’t eaten anything since the 80’s. But also realize she is important and monumental w/r/t journalism/women/feminism etc.
7:39 PM: OMG, Ellen Page played her guitar for Barbara Walters in 2008, I should’ve been watching this show ages ago.
7:30 PM: Red-Carpet Catch-Up while Barbara’s retrospective continues, in which she interviews a lot of closeted gay men, sometimes with their wives.
7:24 PM: Barbara Walters interviewed The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1991 and when she sees it, she wants to cry. She’s very ungrateful tonight. But I’m loving this 80’s-90’s fashion retrospective.
7:22 PM: I don’t think people are going to like Zoe Saldana’s dress. But look how cute her shoes are!
7:17 PM: I am quitting this live-blog because I am sick of sitting on my bed.
7:16 PM: Barbara Walters is quitting her Oscar Special because she is sick of walking down stairs.
Personally I haven’t seen a movie in the theaters since MILK in December 2008. Yup! We know we’ve been short on TV/Film coverage thus far this year, partially b/c our new TV/Film editor has disappeared.
So I asked every single member of Team Autostraddle for help regarding the Best Picture Picks, and here’s what we got! Live-blog begins after the jump.
Oscars 2010: Best Picture Nominees
Crystal (Editor, Audiostraddle): I’m not a fan of Sci-fi, which is probs why I fell asleep 30 minutes into watching District 9. Then my gf woke me up and made me watch it again from the start, an act that turned my indifference into full-on dislike. Giant prawns with laser guns don’t really float my boat, but the film’s concept and visual effects were pretty amazing. If this film wins some awards then I think they’ll be well deserved.
Kelsey (Video Assistant): Up plot DID NOT MAKE SENSE except nobody cared because they thought it was cute.
Carlytron (PR): I hated Up. Oh my god, did I hate Up. And I love Pixar, wall-e and nemo are two of my very very favorite movies ever.
1) those dogs COULD NOT fly planes.
Intern Emily: i saw up and i really liked it, mostly because i really like computer animation, cute/talking animals, fantasy, and feel good endings.
Laneia (Executive Editor): Oh, hey! wanna cry your face off over a cartoon? hm? then this film was tailor made for your weepy ass. also, glad i didn’t see it in 3-d b/c of all the cliffs and flying and stuff. waaaahhh scary!
Rachel (Ed. Assistant): I heard a lot beforehand about how it made everyone cry and was ‘really dark’ for a ‘kid’s movie,’ but honestly WALL-E made me cry more. Overall it was a cute little thing with beautiful animation and talking animals, and it made me want to have an adventure. I think maybe the nicest thing was the way it seemed to really be ok with alternative family structures – the kid doesn’t have a dead mom or anything like in every single other Disney movie ever, but in the end it’s clear that he and the old dude are pretty much a family or at least bffs, and that’s a pretty nice thing to see in a mainstream movie.
Intern Lily (College Lesbianage): I cried basically throughout all of Up because old people, fat kids, dogs, and animated things make me cry. But I cry during commercials so yeah…
Sam: This Cohen Brothers movie was a bit off the wall for me. I thought the dream sequences were funny and the way that the racist/anti-Semitic neighbors were depicted was also pretty entertaining. The Jewish humor was a good time and the view inside of the jewish family made me smile at points because i saw some of my family in it. I had to watch it twice to really appreciate it but it was worth it.
Sam (Tech Blogger): The tension in this movie is off the charts. I love this movie probably my one of my favorite movies of the whole year. It feels authentic and the story is gripping. It sucks you in. I also enjoyed the fact that it did not use big name actors for the major roles. I am a little biased because I know one of the writers he is a friend of my family However. it is totally my pick for best picture.
Intern Nicole: I am not typically interested in any war-related movies, but I really liked this movie. It was an extremely well done movie in all aspects that surprisingly kept my interest. If a woman director is finally going to win the Oscar for Best Director, it should definitely be Kathryn Bigelow for this movie.
Laneia: Brad Pitt was fucking genius but wow, that was a lot of murder and shit.
Intern Nicole: For some reason I find it mind boggling that a movie with Tim McGraw in it is nominated for an Oscar. With that said, it was cute, but certainly not Oscar-worthy, even with the ten nominees, in my opinion.
Kelsey: The opening credits/graphics were the best part of the film, by a long shot.
Second, of course was Vera Farmiga – who should be a blonde for the rest of her life so I can fantasize about her. She just looks hotter as a blonde. She had a nude scene during which I died until I learned that it was a body double at which point I denounced the entire film. Maybe this is where my rage comes from?
The saddest part of the failure of Up in the Air is that it really, honestly, could have been a great film. The tone was just way off. The point of the film is isolation, basically. And yet there is just so much shitty writing that interferes with that really warm and comfortable feeling of being alone. If the writing was cut in half and filled instead with sounds that normally accompany an airport, hotel, and other lonely travel places, it would have been spot on.
Also, I don’t think Anna Kendrick was acting. I’m pretty sure that’s just her real persona…except she happens to be caught on film. I think it might be hard for people to know this since this is her “break-out performance.”
Intern Lily: The best movie I saw all year because it was so ridiculously relevant and just awesome. I cried in this movie too.
Intern Nicole: Nick Hornby adapted the screenplay for this and it did not disappoint. Plus, English accents.
Jess (Audiostraddle): If nothing else, ‘An Education’ brought back memories of being a smart ass, precocious high school girl. Like Carey Mulligan’s character Jenny, I attended an all-girls school, got straight As, and dreamed of fleeing suburbia for the city. But unlike her, I was neither charmed by older men nor suffered from the urge to pepper all of my conversations with French. All in all, it was a predictable movie minus the nice, pretty bow at the end. Kudos to Carey Mulligan for her performance.