You Never Run Out of Jokes, We Never Run Out of Comment Awards

HEY KIDS! Here’s what happened this week: an open thread about living with a vegetarian where everyone got really serious about food and stuff. Season 3 of Anyone But Me premiered and we’ve got the video, Crystal visited some cities in the Mediterranean and it was gorgeous, and Canada had an election with sad results. Also, Riese and Laneia compiled a top ten list of queer movies that will make you cry, because well, let’s face it, a lot of queer movies are depressing.

Also, also! We’ve finally got our calendar girls for April and May! And speaking of hot, we are putting together a Hot 100 featuring you and me and everyone we know (personally).

On Telenovela Plot Includes Lesbian Couple, Sexy Content:

The Beerios Award to cynthia, pips, RachelwasHere:

On OPEN THREAD: How to Love, Date and/or Cohabitate with a Vegetarian:

The Yes…That Must Be It Award to Andrea:
Every girlfriend I’ve had has eventually adopted my vegetarian ways. I guess I’m just a good… cook, hehe.

On Wild Stuff Going Down With Lesbians All Over The World:

The Scissor Attack! Award to fragile, terracottatoes, LimeyLimes:

On VIDEO! Obama, Seth Meyers Are Funny At the White House Correspondents Dinner:

The DONALD TRUMP LESBIAN Award to Middling, kaythen:

On Osama Bin Laden Is Dead:

The Harry Potter Award to nosidam:
Little known fact: Bin Laden created several thousand horcruxes out of household objects (he had a particular hatred of toe nail clippers). After the TSA was able to destroy all of these items, they were able to go after the man himself.

On This Is A Canadian Election Day Post:

The I Don’t Know What Are You Even Saying Award to terracottatoes:

On Juicy Pink Box Threw A Screening Party and Everyone Came:

The Lesbian Rendition Award to Kai:
This is what first came to my mind – my lesbian rendition of “Losing my Religion.”
That’s me in the flannel,
That’s me in the tight shirt,
Viewing porn with women….
Trying to drink more champagne,
And I don’t know if I can do it.
Oh no, was that Marie… Antoinette?

On Glee Sneak Peek: ‘Brittany’s Fondue for Two’ is Revelant to Your Interests, Lesbians:

The Rumours Award to Jenissuper, countrysongs:

On Minnesota House Committee Passes Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment, Narrowly Subverts Nuclear War and Apocolypse:

The No Such Thing As Homophobia Award to Kristy77:
WOW! I can ride at the front of the bus???I didn’t know that! I thought I belonged in the back with all the rest of the queers! Guess I’ll shut up about wanting gay marriage because at least I get a front row seat on the bus!!!

On Good Thing Price William Isn’t Gay:

The BRANDY HOWARD BISEXUAL SIDEBOOB Award to Marika; honorary award to ragdoll, not pictured:

On Tennessee’s Republican Senators’ Delusional Plan to Pretend Gay People Don’t Exist:

The Yeah…No. Award to Dena, yodelmachine:

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Emily Choo started as an intern with Autostraddle when she was 18 years old. She's now 10 years older and lives in Toronto with her partner and cat. The defining moment of her career was when Riese said this about her: " I think Emily Choo is a very bright, 'poetically inclined' girl who pays attention to everything and knows almost everything (the point of stuff, how to read, how beautiful things feel, how scary things feel, etc.) but doesn't believe/accept/realize yet that she knows almost everything." She still doesn't believe she knows anything, so, thank you, Riese, for that.

Emily has written 100 articles for us.


  1. Had I been drinking something when I read it, Kai’s version of “Losing My Religion” would have caused my drink to come out my nose.

    And yay honorary award thanks Emily :)

  2. i could explain my ostensibly nonsensical comment, or i could just remain an enigma

    bitches love enigmas

      • I shall leave the Sasha Greys of the world to discuss the Joys of Enemas; I shall just appreciate your enigmatic peripherally Sapphic and/or Canadian absurdism.

  3. YEAH! I WON!!! And I won for realizing that I shouldn’t give a damn about gay marriage because at least I can ride in the front of the bus…except I HAVE A CAR so that privilege means absolutely NOTHING to me!! ROTFLMBO

    • This is your wife commenting on your account because, I’m to lazy to log in as me. Bitch get to the back of the bus and make me a sammich!!!!

      • this is adorable. I need a wife to hack my autostraddle account and demand sammiches.

  4. Honestly, I never thought my comment could ever be so loved. Or get an award, come to that. Time to stop being too shy to comment, I guess!

      • okay so i have no clue what your avatar actually is but when i read “JOIN US”, i instantly saw it as a group of pink cult member beings. hm.

          • I don’t know… but I bet it’s something clever.

            *ba dum crash*

            Yeah I’ll just go sit over in the corner for bad joke timeout now.

          • aw shit i can’t play for the cookie ‘cuz i already know the answer :/

          • because it’s:
            a) rare & you like it?
            b) your spirit flower?
            c) b/c it looks like a pink gumby pride parade?

            ummmm…that’s all i got.

          • I’m really, really thrilled that you guys played along. I was also worried that TToes would spill the beans.

            It’s actually named after me (and my mom).

            Anyway, you are all hilarious and if you PM me your addresses I’ll will send you (not fancy – don’t get excited) cookies.

          • Wow, your name is Renantanda?? That’s probably short for something right?

            I now wonder who the ‘Clitoria Ternatea’ was named after..

  5. I feel like there should be an Autostraddle telenovela situation that happens.

  6. 1. Is it because the middle parts kinda look like mini-vadges?
    2. Is it because they’re like supppper rare? Studying

    • OMG sad…my comment came out all screwy.
      1. Is it because the middle parts kinda look like mini-vadges?
      2. Is it because they’re like supppper rare? studying.

    • i don’t mean to snoop but it appears your commenting is rather chaotic

      • I’m going to need to change it to something less comment messer-uppy. Like “person who can comment without screwing everything up to bits” Too long?

  7. I saw this earlier, and then I texted half a dozen Autostraddlers and was like HEY, I’M AWESOME.

    But seriously, my boyish good looks sometimes turn straight girls bi. WHAT CAN I SAY. It’s a gift.


  8. My comment pales in comparison to all the hilarious ones this week. I only found out about my comment award because I walked in on my girlfriend giggling her butt off and pointing to the screen on Autostraddle. Thanks bb. :P

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