Time-Travel back to the beginning with Ellen, New York mayor would love to marry Heather & Caroline!, bad explanations for things, Gay Icons at the Portrait Gallery and how Bruno didn’t get sued.

Don’t worry, someone is going to look at your genes and figure out why you’re so freaking gay, and then they’re gonna get you a hot girlfriend! Also the debate over marriage (for straight people, obvs), eco-friendly transition towns, and a lack of female writers on the best books list. Yes, it’s a big day in the world of ideas..

Cynthia Stewart and her girlfriend get to go to prom! The Rhode Island governor is kicking the gays while they’re down. The coolest 10-year-old ever is refusing to say the pledge of allegiance until gay people have equal rights. And Fergie has finally figured out that a gay affair is still cheating.

Introducing Read a F*cking Book Wednesday, with other stuff about when to act on prop 8, starving interns, and a (fake trailer for a fake) new movie with an incredible new soundtrack starring the girl from clueless and the ironic girl!

Well, the Exodus International conference features a Women’s Oasis breakfast every day (our favorite meal to eat out!) and almost everyone gets a roommate! It’s like an Olivia Cruise, but with less fun and more Jesus and more shame/self-loathing.

“We want to write honestly, interact genuinely with as many of our readers as possible and only work with businesses & businesspeople who share our ethics & ideals and promote similar community values.”

Was this the worst decade ever? Does facebook turn us into 6th graders? Does the word “emo” police male sensitivity? Also; one in 8 Americans are on food stamps, nerd-tivity scenes, Sasha Grey is more than just a porn star, veteran trans sportswriter dies in suspected suicide, Episcopal churches in MA can marry the gays now and Bart Simpson’s best chalkboard gags.

Mormons at odds, Ellen & Portia baby-free, bullying bill barely makes it through, Rachel the Anchorbabe, Broadway is naked, Theater is sexist, lesbians love the theater, best video ever and so! much! more!

Your chances to fly to Australia to meet Rose Rollins, Marlee Matlin and Laurel Holloman and Rachel Shelley have been DASHED by slow ticket sales! Also, hot party tonight in NYC Dj’ed by Carlytron, Lady Gaga does Leno and talks bisexuality for Fuse, and Women-Hating Movies.

Outfest leans lesbian … you going? Daria! Jeffery & Cole! Top 100 Butches! My Mom! Reno 911! The Gay Agenda is converting our children! Drugs and gay are not the same! Massachusetts has balls and we like it!

Obama sits down with the Catholics and says he is “wrestling with his faith and solicitude and regard and concern for gays and lesbians.” Also, a new UK webseries for lesbos, Gaga topless, Dancing with the Stars goes gay (er), the Lynch can still do no wrong but Perez can, Middlesex, ex-gays, and LUGS for Heroes!

Lady Gaga has so much going on! Magazine covers, Beyoncè music video premiere announcement, interviews and a trip to the z100 morning show — we’ve excerpted her bit on gay rights for you to listen! Also; Chaz Bono, Wanda Sykes, a new lesbian TV project and another “lindsay lohan kissing a boy” rumor.

“The California Supreme Court will hand down its decision on Proposition 8 and address the legal status of over 18,000 same-sex couples who were married between June and November while the legalization was in effect.”

Why reach for the knife when you can just put on a disguise! Take a cue from bugs bunny and you’ll never end up on trial just to be acquitted by a homophobic jury again!

Chaz Bono enlightens America about gender reassignment surgery, says he feels better than ever, and gives us an opportunity to discuss the popular and problematic term “sex change”! Also; Caster keeps her title, hate crimes are on the rise in LA and six scary quotes from Sarah Palin’s book tour.

Let’s sing about rainbows, follow @autostraddle on twitter, appreciate jezebel, party in who-ville despite the Mormons and start all over again with “How do You Like Us Now.”

Who won the Rodeo Disco Pride Raffle? Watch our video and find out!

Meredith Baxter officially comes out to The Advocate, after joining the gays on our recent Sweet Caribbean Cruise (she’s gonna be in Jill Bennett & Cathy DeBouno’s web-series!). Also, Zach Quinto confesses his love for Anyone But Me, we declare Adam Lambert as Autostraddle’s Sexiest Man of 2009 and an incredible photoshoot inspired by Prop H8.

Shark Week! Also: Drop Dead Diva, True Blood, Deadly Waters, Intervention (by Tinkerbell), Nurse Jackie, The Colony, My Life on the D-List and Weeds! And our Hot Girl is our So You Think You Can Dance endorsement.

If only every hot actress was like Charlize Theron, who bid a kiss with her off for $140K to one lucky lady. I think she might be onto something. Also; bitch magazine ponders Adam Lambert’s whole “thing,” nerve has 10 sexy tomboys, The Lynch is returning to Party Down and Gay Dads thrive! It’s SUNDAY FUNDAY!