It Gets Better: 23 Lesbians, 10 Animals, 2 Children, 1 Message (#itgetsbetter)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (we’re not judging if you do, it happens), you probably know about Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project, which enlists homos to speak to youths via YouTube about how high school is a battlefield for your heart. Celebrities with shiny hair tell schoolchildren about how much better things are when you have a hit record and bang hot lesbo-chicks all day. In between those vids, you can hear real stories from normal not-fancy human gays all over the world. You might cry a little.

You probably wondered, where’s Autostraddle’s video, are they too busy reading editorials of the It Gets Better project to actually get better? Nah. We just needed it to be special and wanted a big complicated project to ensure a constantly haphazard publication schedule.

“Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.”

We enlisted the worldwide troops for this one. However we can’t figure out how to get it on their site I keep getting an error message help.

The It Gets Better project requires you to put your location in the title. We can’t fit it all in there, so how’s this… (location is where the video was shot)


DJ Carlytron & Photographer Robin Roemer (Autofocus) — Queens, NY

Actress Sarah Croce (Miss April) & AS Design Director Alex VegaOn the Road somewhere between New York and California (two bois, one road)

Celesbian Nat Garcia (Autonatic, More to L) & her dogs — Los Angeles, CA

Comedians Gloria Bigelow & Dalila Ali Rajah (Cherry Bomb TV) — Los Angeles, CA

Actress Julia Osen Averill (Miss February) — Brooklyn, NY

AS Intern ElizabethChicago, IL

AS Intern Daphne DuckBelgium

AS Intern Lily (College Lesbianage) — New York, NY

Tech Blogger MorganBoston, MA

Technostraddle Editor-in-Chief Taylor and Video Assistant KelseyOakland, CA

Nicole Pacent (Miss June, Anyone But Me) & Jenn Klein — Los Angeles, CA

Vikki (Up Popped a Fox) and her cute family — Minneapolis, MN

Editor-in-Chief Riese Bernard & Managing Editor Sarah F. P.Ann Arbor, MI

Actress Haviland Stillwell West Hollywood, CA

Comediennes/actresses/executives Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard (In Your Box Office) — Los Angeles, CA

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

the team

auto has written 715 articles for us.


  1. I’m gonna go all internet creep on you now, just so you know!

    By the time Alex did her backflip I was like “ohmigod I don’t know you but I love all of you?”
    I don’t know who I want to cuddle and heart the most in this video.
    Although I think Vikki wins this round because she has a portuguese girlfriend and portuguese women are frickin’ hot and awesome, just saying!

    • I have an amazing Portuguese girlfriend! Yes. You know what comes with one (in addition to the hot-related things)? Trips to Portugal and Portuguese wine.

      • Oh you’re so right, you lucky woman.
        Things I love about Portugal:
        1. Portugal
        2. Portuguese Women
        3. Portuguese Wine

        [in addition to my above comment I would like to say that the animals featured were pretty awesome, too. right now the cat I “stole” from my mothers appartment while she is on some sort of a sailing trip on the baltic sea is lying in our laundry basket, asleep and snoring like my grandmother. I will miss her when my mom returns.]

  2. Beautiful video – well done y’all. A personal bonus for me was that you managed to make me look a tiny bit cool which means that you have magical powers.

  3. Euhm all of those animals could eat my mouse (enter laugh). OK maybe not Brandy’s musical dog. I feel that dog could be friends with EVERYBODY.

  4. That was super heart warming and it was nice to see the ladies behind autostraddle outside of a tiny avatar pic!

  5. I joined the community here a few months ago but haven’t really commented so much as just very heartily lurked and appreciated and felt warm and happy and entertained at everyone’s loveliness, smarts, and of course, indisputable sense of humour.

    I wanted to re-emerge from Lurkland to say thank you for your presence in this world. It reminds me that there are ladies/women/grrrls out there who care about the things I do and who are dedicated to making this world a batter place.

    My favourite poem ever is ‘Say Yes’ by Andrea Gibson.
    Without saying much else.. this community has roots in my heart in the same place that that poem does. It’s a place of hope and inspiration.

    So yes
    thankyou, for all that you do.

    *lurker-heart soon intending to be more-regular-commenter-heart.. how else will I actively make ALL THE FRIENDS.



      • Thankyou. I wish this day was marked by something more in the spirit of celebration than getting my period.

        But getting called cute is always cause for celebration!

        Aw, you Autostraddlers, you.

    • HUGS. you are accepted when you give hugs. And make stupid comments. like this one. I’d just like to say that.

      • I always hug. I am a hug/cuddle slut. HUGS back.

        And yes, there are some things I have picked up during my spell as Lurker #2482:

        they include
        -write short silly comments
        harry potter
        Mean Girls
        T+S quotes
        ‘this’ or ‘THIS’ – depending on the strength of your agreement with previous fantastic comment or post
        occasional serious discourse on patriarchy-destruction and gender studies theories in general
        well-placed declarations of love / unending adoration for
        and referring to everyone as ‘you guys’.

        Do you think I kind of understand how things go around here, you guys?

  6. This was amazing for so many reasons, and then harmonica and puppies happened.

    ohmyf’ingod. I’m laughing so loudly and it’s so early in the morning and my roommates probably think I’m WEIRD AND CRAZY. but really, it’s that things just got much better.

  7. i laughed until i cried, wanted to read books, loved all of this, and the pug with the tuxedo omg and taylor and kelsey are so cute, you’re all so cute and better and stuff!

  8. A back flip, a musical dog, and a mouse. Perfect. I am convinced it really does get better. Thank you all!

  9. LILY- way to rock that standard issue Barnard furniture. Seeing that in the background was my favorite part!

    Alxie, Strong Beautiful Barnard Woman, ’05

    • Haha I’m glad I could bring you back with that FANTASTIC furniture.
      Ooohh Hewitt. I’m pretty sure those rooms haven’t been really cleaned in years.

    • the first few times (ahem) I watched this I always understood something like “mmmmhhh BUGS mmmh” when Riese started talking about books.
      I have the same problem with one of my best friends who is super smart and funny, but sometimes I only understand half of the things he says. It’s better when he writes. I should never talk to Riese IRL because at least 50% of the time I would have to use the “smile and nod” tactic.

  10. 1. sarah and alex are perfect human beings
    3. why is everyone so cute and wonderful
    4. jdklahdkghd
    5. NACHO

  11. This made my day. I love that you guys approached the “it gets better” concept by showing the “better” things, like back flips and cuddling and books and Nacho. Other videos with personal stories are awesome too, but this was like an injection of pure happiness.

  12. everyone is so cute and adorable. videos like this make me want to move out of nebraska, because it’s not really getting better here…

  13. Literally just watched this four times. currently watching for the fifth time. There is SO MUCH LOVE.

  14. There are so many things good and cute and funny about this video that it’s hard for me to isolate what they are. -^ ^- It makes me feel good about life though, so thanks. It also makes me want to make a video too, so I think I will!

  15. my life is better because of vikki, vikki’s family, julia’s books, daphne’s weird zooming in, all 2389752983 dogs, and lily’s hoop earrings.

  16. I feel like you’re all my best friends and so this video makes me really happy. I can’t even decide which part I liked best. My heart feels full and happy and I hope that it makes the the hearts of the kids who watch it feel that way too.

  17. *does happy dance to celebrate video awesomeness*

    One question though: what’s the third book Julia is showing? I have all the others she showed, I just don’t recognize that one (and can’t read the title). The R…. for A…?

    • The Rules for Hearts by Sara Ryan. It is the sequel to Empress of the World, which is still at my parents’ house otherwise that would have been in the pile too.

      • I have to go get that book. I read the first one, and our library is stupid and doesn’t have the second one. Hey, I just found an excuse to buy two new books. :D

    • i am going to demand the full clip of you guys. because what i saw was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

      • as it turns out, i just put their entire clip in there. so if there’s more you guys definitely need to send it to us!

  18. You know when you’re watching some cartoon movie with songs, like The Land Before Time, and all the characters sing a big song and then laugh right after the final note? Well that happened to me after I watched this video. Good times.

  19. you guys know i love you all, but daphne won this video. stick it out, kids, and someday YOU could hold this albino mouse!

  20. I was having a kinda crappy Friday, and this just fixed all of it. All of it. Between kittens, dogs, kids, and amazing lesbochicks, what’s not to love?

  21. Fantastic! Columbus day! The world’s not flat and there’s new frontiers for love! Alex does fun back flip, meanwhile I worry her apple snack is all in the dirt!

  22. Well, I’ve been a tad bit MIA from Autostraddle lately, but it’s nice to come back and see this! You all are great. :D

  23. I’d like a list of all the books, please. She was flipping through too fast, although I tried to pause and get the titles.

    • list of books

      Tipping the Velvet, Fingersmith, Affinity – Sarah Waters
      Pages For You – Sylvia Brownrigg
      The Rules for Hearts – Sara Ryan (Read Empress of the World 1st)
      Girl Walking Backwards – Bett Williams
      Ash – Malinda Lo
      Those are just the ones I had sitting in my apt. For a more complete list look through the articles on books you should be reading. YAY!

      • Everything by Sarah Waters is divine and I really enjoyed Malinda Lo’s “Ash”. Do read Emma Donoghue though – she’s brilliant. Landing made my life so much better.

      • I’m a little bit in love with Julia, and this vid makes the love super CONCRETE.She’s cuter than the pile of puppies.. And we’re going to have alot of doubles in our bookshelves when we move in together…

  24. Also, I might just be projecting, but I’m fairly certain that Brandy’s dog was HOWLING “BETTER BETTER, BETTER BET-TERRRR”

    So yeah, the puppy says it’s better, too.

  25. The part about how dating someone your size doubles your wardrobe made me laugh, because I just got finished doing SIX LOADS OF LAUNDRY AND IT TOOK MORE THAN FIVE HOURS. Turns out you really just end up getting them all mixed up into one pile and not knowing what’s clean and what’s dirty… and doing it all.

  26. Awesome job, people – this video put a huge smile on my face! Lesbians, kids and dogs… only thing this video was missing is sharks. <3

  27. This makes me indescribably happy. Especially Nat Garcia’s puppy pile. And Julie’s musical dog. I like dogs. I think dogs should make all the world’s decisions. Cause then we’d probably have peace and stuff.

  28. This is the best “It gets better” video yet.
    I would choose this one above harry potter… if they made one.

  29. great site, just found about it yesterday and I love it!!

    one question, since I am not a native speaker of English. What exactly does AUTOSTRADDLE mean?

    keep the good work!!

  30. This is spectacular! My only question is why is Julie holding a cut-out of Ozzy Osbourne’s face? I am very confused by this. Love it. Just confused.

    • I sent the video to my mother, and she said “Cute! But who’s the girl whose face is on the popsicle stick?” I almost died laughing.

    • I think it’s the title of two blogs the founders had that they put together, but I’m only positive about one of them.

  31. Just FYI, every time I’m in the least bit of a bad mood, I watch this video, and it ALWAYS makes me smile. You guys are amazing and keep me sane.

  32. Pingback: Anyone But Me Fans

  33. Holy holy holy everything.
    This video made me laugh and cry and love myself (a bit) and all of you (a whole fucking tonne). This is the first It Gets Better video I’ve seen from a girl point of view and I feel like I’ve somehow found part of something I belong to. Thank you so much. There’s so much negativity in the world, and after a hideous, hideous breakup and all kinds of questioning myself about whether to pretent I’m straight just to make things easier, you’ve reminded me, or taught me, that I have to do what I know I want.

    As a super low-ranking lesbian, thank you, thank you, thank you. All these tears, all these cigarettes and laughs and awkward beautiful dates with beautiful awkward girls are for you, Autostraddle.

    Sorry for being a lame soppy-ass douche. But this meant more to me than I thought it possibly could.

  34. Pingback: The L-Word: It’s Not Getting Better For Lonely Young Lesbians « Fedcan Blog

  35. Pingback: It’s Not Getting Better for Lonely Young Lesbians | newdaynewmood

  36. Pingback: Let's Watch Videos and Eat Popcorn | Up Popped A Fox

  37. Pingback: 100+ LGBTQ Black Women You Should Know: The Epic Black History Month Megapost – The LGBT World

Comments are closed.