If you’re into that kind of thing, restraining people is a super-fun sexual activity! Here are five ways to do it.
You can’t focus your mind and make her text. You only have control over your fingers.
“We’re all normal, as long as we are having sex in ways that are consensual, risk-aware and injury free. Our bodies? They’re normal too. Beautiful, even. That should be the core concept in any comprehensive sex education, in my opinion.”
“Her dog is super cool, though. You think you might still be sleeping with her because her dog is so goshdarn awesome.”
But now my body, which had spent so many years letting me down and making decisions without my consent, had gone and done something absolutely right — and done it better. It had done something other people’s bodies, “healthy” bodies, hadn’t been able to.
I can’t say any of us were thrilled to sign up, but we knew what we had to do: we had to sign up for a dating app and prepare to meet a lot of ladies… for science.
“It’s like a magic confidence talisman, that blindfold is.”
Let’s get Monday off to a triumphant start by gaying the fuck out with some gifs, you sexy beasts.
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I have a lot of strong opinions about most things and this time, it’s things people like doing on Valentine’s Day.
“I am willing to entertain the idea that something else will feel as good against my clit — a talented human mouth, for instance — but nothing as portable even comes close.”
Valentine’s Day e-cards that are as lesbian as you are.
The Toyfriend Seti is like a little satellite dish, if satellite dishes honed in on your clit.
Even if we can’t spring for round-trip tickets for two to a shared favorite destination or get enough time off work to visit for a long weekend, we can make it an adorable night.
What to get someone for Valentine’s Day when you have no idea what to get someone for Valentine’s Day but you do like sex. Vibrators, strap-ons, robot cufflinks and more.
“Sat in my car listening to a police scanner app for an hour for no particular reason “
Through sickness and in health, not just a meaningless vow. Ten easy ways to nurture your girl through illness for the nurturing impaired, plus cute animal pictures!
“You’re like my little fetus.”
Entering into the world of monogamy and dare I say, cohabitation is a terrifying new frontier and it’s arguably much safer to stay put in the safe confines of twin beds and roomies.
Before there was sexting, there was inserting obvious sexual metaphors into benign-looking letters and adding romantic overtones to keep it classy.