Rhymes With Witches: Scream Queens
In honor of this holiest of scary holidays, I have compiled a few of my all-time favorite scary chick flicks: ranging from horror classics to ridiculous fun.
rhymes with witches
Rhymes With Witches: Lumpy Space Princess
At the end of the day it’s all bout the lumps.
Rhymes With Witches: Original Degrassi Mean Girl, Tabi
“Her uniform consists of a Degrassi varsity jacket, though I think she’s too cool to actually be a part of any organized sport, and, of course, an opened peanut butter jar that she is always snacking on. THIS IS THE PERSON I WANT TO BE.”
Rhymes With Witches: Poor Little Rich Girl Mary Crawley
The bitchy nightmare heiress of Downtown Abbey wears pearls.
Rhymes With Witches: The Frenemies of “Bachelorette”
Seriously, I don’t even want to say how many times I’ve streamed Bachelorette on Netflix on any given week. This is the post-Mean Girls movie that I’ve been waiting for, and if you’ve been wondering what happens to the “Plastics” in their late twenties, this is the flick for you.
Rhymes With Witches: Broadway Badass Elaine Stritch
“What I’m trying to say is that, Elaine Stritch was a bitch and she didn’t give a f*ck what you thought about her…She was the director of her own life and her tenacity and strong spirit will be sorely missed.”
Rhymes With Witches: Bryan Fuller’s Slacker Goddesses, Jaye and George
Before I could watch Mindy Kaling wear pajamas while eating fast food all day or Ilana Glazer taking naps during her job in Broad City, I had Jaye Tyler and George Lass.
Rhymes with Witches: Drew Barrymore in 90’s Cult Classic, “Poison Ivy”
“For all of her diabolical plans to take over Sylvie’s life, Ivy made any person she was with feel like they were the most important and interesting person in the world. She could make you despise her but could just as easily win you back with a comforting smile and the feeling that she was the only person that could understand you and knew how to make you better.”
Rhymes with Witches: Orphan Black’s Clone Club
“This show is a testament to amazing writing, and the exceptional acting of Tatiana Maslany, who embodies each clone with such fervor it’s hard to reconcile that they are all played by the same person. Each woman is extremely complex and strong and make perfect examples of the badass and fearless women that I write about every other week.”
Rhymes with Witches: Blair vs. Georgina, The Battle of the Bitchy Brunettes
“Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.”
Rhymes With Witches: Partners in Crime, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn
When I think of these two, I envision them as the cutest queer couple that is into feminism and sharing an eco-friendly Subaru.
Rhymes With Witches: The Teen Royalty of The Pink Ladies
You know a girl gang means business when there’s a uniform requirement.
Rhymes With Witches: Wednesday Addams
“With all those things and an endless supply of witty comebacks, Wednesday is a breath of fresh air to a generation of girls who felt like outcasts that didn’t fit the mold of a perfect girly-girl.”
Rhymes with Witches Double Feature: Marla Sokoloff as Cokie Mason and Lisa
“Unlike the mean girls in other movies who serve as the core of their clique, Lisa and Cokie are on the outskirts looking in. I related to Sokoloff’s characters because they were just like me, dying to be a part of a group that would never accept her.”
Rhymes With Witches: The Virgin/Whore Dichotomy in “Saved!”
This dichotomy has been analyzed in numerous papers and books, but none do it with as much flair and fun as the teen cult classic, “Saved!”.
Rhymes with Witches: The Only Straight Santana Lopez Is Is Straight Up Bitch
“She is unapologetic about who she is and where she comes from. Us Queer Latina cheerleaders need to stick together.”
Rhymes with Witches: Forget Backstabbing, Gilmore Girls’ Paris Geller Fights With Wit And Brains
Though her name is not Gilmore, Paris Geller is the true break out character in this gem of a series, as one of the most heart wrenching and complex portraits of a teenage mean girl.
Rhymes with Witches: Dazed and Confused’s Darla Marks Is No Ordinary Queen Bee
“Geared with fruity roll-on lip gloss and knee high socks, Darla works at the helm of the barbaric ritual with such ferocity it’s hard to believe she’s just a teenage girl.”
Rhymes With Witches: Making Frenemies With Pretty Persuasion’s Kimberly Joyce
Come take a walk on the wild side (switchblade not included) to explore the evil anti-heroine from Pretty Persuasion and why I love her.
More Than Words: Which Witch is Which?
“[No one can break] the spell laid by language on this word.” Happy Halloween, witchez.