Rhymes With Witches: Lumpy Space Princess

Think you’re too old and too cool to watch cartoons? What if I told you there’s a cartoon that is both visually stunning, giggle inducing, AND feminist? Look no further than Cartoon Network’s cacophony of sights and sounds known by toddlers to grown ass people alike as Adventure Time. Since its debut in 2010 Adventure Time has become a worldwide sensation. What’s not to love about a show that values friendship, a candy kingdom ruled by a nerdy princess, and an underlying theme of feminism and LGBT acceptance? And all in a kid’s show!!

The show contains some of the raddest chicks to grace the cartoon universe which I could wax poetic about for hours, but this column is about mean girls which means only one thing: Lumpy Space Princess.

If you haven’t seen the show, I promise you, you have SEEN Lumpy Space Princess. Whether on your Tumblr feed, on t-shirts and/or costume parties. She’s the purple cumulus cloud with a big yellow star on her forehead and a sassy smirk. You’ve probably even heard a few of her famous catchphrases like “What the glob?” and “Lump off!” Originating from Lumpy Space, where having a smooth human body is looked down on, LSP spends her days floating around living her life like an episode of Laguna Beach. Imagine the entire teenage experience compacted into a single character, that’s Lumpy Space Princess. She talks in a HEAVY Valley Girl accent, which make the ridiculous things that come out of her mouth even funnier. She encompasses the quintessential teenager in that she is completely self-involved and acts like every minute thing in her life is an EVENT.

She talks back to her parents and makes rude comments under the guise that she’s just very perceptive and honest. Thinking about how her words may affect other people is nowhere near the trajectory of her mind. She is feeling her FANTASY and frankly the rest of the world can be a part of it or not. Sometimes I wonder if life would be less stressful if we didn’t have to worry about silly things like other people’s feelings and how others view us. LSP just outright doesn’t care (mostly because I don’t think she has the ability to have that perspective), she KNOWS she’s fabulous and will let you know too.

I have never seen a character so outright love their body. Sure, there were those annoying cartoons like Johnny Bravo, whose vanity just completely put me off, but they were mostly dudes and were really unlikable. But here’s a female character that can’t stop talking about her beautiful lumps. As far as LSP is concerned everyone is trying to get at her lumps, but rarely does she ever actually let them. I mean, this show talks about CONSENT y’all. Sure her vanity is dramatized for laughs, but it’s this kind of self-confidence I wish I saw on a mainstream cartoon when I was growing up and am happy to see so many young kids be into.

LSP is a bundle (cloud) of all the raw emotions that are slowly subdued when we become adults. If LSP is happy, you’re gonna know. If she’s upset, you’ll DEFINITELY know. There’s no block or thought process, she just feels everything so intensely, which makes her more outrageous but relatable as well. It’s like I’m feeling vicariously through her if that makes any sense?

Oh yeah, did I mention that she spits out rainbows? Yeah. She also has these crazy sharp teeth that when bitten can turn anyone into a lumpy space person.

In short she is sassy, completely self-serving and refuses to take any guff from anybody. And we love her for it. Lumpy Space Princess believes she is the hottest thing ever and in turn has convinced an entire fandom of it too. I think her meteoric rise in popularity comes from how we see a bit of someone that we were and wish we had the guts to be.

At the end of the day it’s all bout the lumps.

Born in the small island of Puerto Rico, Nina currently lives in Athens, GA with her phantom corgi, Potato.You can find her work in BUST Magazine, HelloGiggles, Thought Catalogue and Portable.tv. She spends most of her time daydreaming about what it would be like to hand out with Taylor Swift and writing in her blog, http://femme-nist.blogspot.com

Nina has written 21 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. I’m really glad that there is an auto straddle article dedicated to the Lumpy Space Princess. In other news, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum need their own show: Misandry Marceline and Princess Bubblegum cleansing the world of male tears.

  2. My favourite LSP moment is during the zombie episode, when Finn won’t let go of zombiefied Princess Bubblegum, and LSP smacks her out of his arms and starts boarding up the window yelling “Nuh-uh! I am NOT getting eaten by zombies tonight!” Like a sensible person.

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