Letter From Your Editors

Oh hi hello hi these are things that bring us comfort during this time:

1st: Rachel Lewis + SKINCARE COLLECTION // Casey + DOGGO // Nicole + LETTUCE // Stef + MELATONIN // Kamala + NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES // Heather + DOBBY // 2nd: Sarah + BATHTUB MANGOES // Kayla + LOLA // Vanessa + BAKING // Drew + RACHEL BERRY // Meg + BRADY // Laneia + STORY FILTERS // 3rd: Molly + COFFEE // Valerie Anne + PUZZLES // Riese + A HIGH PONY // Malic + ZOOM // Rachel + ANIMAL CROSSING // Carmen + COZY BLANKET

w h a t

n o w

Love,

Riese / Kamala/ Sarah / Laneia / Rachel / Carmen

P.S. Thank you SO so so SO so SO much to everybody who contributed to our fundraiser! And also HELLO to so many new A+ members! We have 4,708 members now, which is the fastest the program has grown in all its life since launch, which makes us hopeful. We’re all very excited about the erotica, I believe. Also if you’re new here, please note that generally speaking the letter from the editor is a bit meatier than this but this has been a day and we are both human and very sorry.

P.P.S. I hope you didn’t miss any of our STELLAR A+ content this month which included: Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #29, S L I C K: Constellations — Bennet & Paige On A Silver Platter, Into the A+ Advice Box: Quarantine Special Edition and S L I C K: A Date To Remember!!!

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From March 2020

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. 82 Queer TV Shows to Stream on Netflix, by Riese
2. Dominique Provost-Chalkley Is Queer: “Wynonna Earp” Actress Comes Out on Her Birthday, by Valerie
3. Lesbian Movies on Netflix: Everything Streaming and What’s Worth Watching, by Riese
4. Mae Martin on “Feel Good,” Dating, and How She’s Spending Her Quarantine, by Drew
5. 19 Lesbian Cultural Practices Appropriated By “Love Is Blind”, by Riese
6. 14 Lesbian Movies Streaming on Hulu, For Example, “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”, by Riese
7. “Love Is Blind” Is Basically a Lesbian Reality Show for Straight People — and I Can’t Get Enough of It, by Kate Ryan
8. Queer Horoscopes for March 2020: Pisces Season Takes Us Into the Dreamworld, by Corina Dross
9. What’s Queer and New On Netflix, Amazon and Hulu in March 2020?, by Riese
10. 41 LGBTQ+ TV Shows on Amazon Prime, by Riese

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Carmen: IT’S HAPPENING!!!

I opened my @bumble up to women and now I have the most gorgeous black & brown women in my matches 😍…brb pic.twitter.com/DHsjgC4LK9

— Angelica Ross (@angelicaross) March 31, 2020

It took everything within me not to shoot my shot.
KaeLyn: Carmen, this is your moment. Please. For all of us. Shoot your damn shot.
Shelli: Carmen — we need this relationship
Drew: I think you should write a piece about her or interview her to get her attention so she follows you back on Twitter. Then start responding to her tweets with a comment here, a comment there, until a slight rapport is established, and then slide into her DMs – if she hasn’t already slid into yours.
Valerie:👆🏻
Vanessa: wow drew is a genius
i co-sign this method
Kamala: i would love to read the crush/stalk piece!
Carmen: I really appreciate this team scheming so that I have the best shot at, well, shooting my shot. Y’all are real friends. Thank you.
I just want to make her happy that’s all!
Drew: You could make her so happy!!
Carmen: I really believe I could!
Abeni: GET IN THOSE DMS ASAP CARMEN! You know she’s gonna get snapped up!!! You don’t have time for Drew’s wonderful plan IMO
Vanessa: HAHAHA ABENI
loving the energy everyone has brought here

Heather:

Laneia: 😭
heather i
not even the 90s, not a-camp, not gentleman jack, none of that prepared me for this exchange
Heather: i know. it’s perfect, and perfectly timed. like something out of time really!
Laneia: white 90s lesbian apex, only missing etheridge tbh
Heather: there’s still time

Stef: anyway that’s in a MONTH what could happen in a month??
what’s a month? we’ve been inside for ten months already
Drew: I’ve decided that weeks are now two days. On day one I am horny, on day two I am depressed. So far I’ve been in quarantine for 11 weeks.
Stef: i can’t even tell what a day is
i’m relying on friends on the west coast who have also stopped sleeping
Drew: I’ve started waking up at 6am and having a hard time going back to sleep but that means I’m tired enough to fall asleep around 1am usually.
Stef: i go to bed btwn 6-8 am
wake up around noon-1
there is absolutely no point where i wake up and briefly forget the situation we are in, i just wake up like ‘ugh not again’
Drew: Yup same
Stef: ‘oh no this shit some more’
Vanessa: We had no idea how foretelling Russian Doll rly was
Do you think if Natasha Lyonne works out her mommy issues and becomes a good person the pandemic will end
Drew: Did Vanessa just make a TV reference?? The world really is ending!
Vanessa: 🥰
Stef: however unlikely that scenario is
i’d say we’re doomed
Drew: I dunno I’d put the world in Natasha Lyonne’s hands
Stef: yeah i’d rather not
Rachel: god she smokes so much she would be at such high risk
Stef: every day really is just like falling into a sewer grate

Rachel: seeing both of these next to each other in the queue did a lot for me, thank u malic and drew

Drew: Hahahaha grass is always greener etc etc etc
Rachel: something for every attachment style
Drew: The consistency in myself and our community is really keeping me going through this
Archie: plz publish those on the same day!!
Rachel: what if we had a day of just quarantine love advice
Stef: the divorce rate in china is spiking, i’m reading
lots of people decided after quarantine that they didn’t like their partner THAT much
Rachel: you need help: do I have feelings for this person on instagram or is it just the pandemic/do I have feelings for my roommate or is it just the pandemic/am I actually a bottom/top or is it just the pandemic/what happens if I come out during the pandemic
Stef: drew and i are both developing some strong roommate feelings but none of them are positive
Vanessa: YNH: you thought you were poly but you and your long distance girlfriend are talking about becoming monogamous, is it real or just the pandemic
Stef: honestly i feel like there is a lot to be said about the rush of online dating and like, how the fuck are people going to navigate this
Drew: Stef, I fully had a sex dream about one of my roommates anyway though.
Stef: did you get a new kitten for the apartment in the sex dream?
Drew: The one who is social distancing most!!
Rachel: oh yeah we haven’t even scraped the surface of pandemic sex dreams
Drew: This was before the kitten nonsense.
But maybe that’ll be a component tonight.

Vanessa: BIG DAY FOR US TEAM


🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Do you think this is the part where she lets me interview her for autostraddle
Why am I interviewing her, a straight woman, for autostraddle — no one knows
It’s fine
Stef: …FOR NOW

Riese: who can be straight
in this economy
everybody is a little gay
Stef: honestly
Riese: first question:
do you have any of those sweet little figs
second question: do you play tennis (as per @al(aina)’s article on this topic from autostraddle in some previous year)
Stef: definitely ask her about vegetarian and gluten free substitutes in her recipes
she loves that

Drew: I’m so used to writing for Autostraddle and this note from an editor at a straight publication is cracking me up:
It’s not that I don’t feel close to my identity as a trans woman. It’s just that I’m also very gay – WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS, CAN YOU BE SPECIFIC? I ALSO REALLY FANCY WOMEN?
From now on instead of saying I’m so gay I’m going to say “I REALLY fancy women”

Riese: i attended a britney spears dance party on youtube this weekend
this is where i’m at emotionally
Stef: my friends djed a cute zoom dance party
it was actually really nice
even if there is just no flattering zoom angle to be dancing in your bedroom it turns out
Drew: I think I need to do one of those
Riese: oh it was like a video that i watched it wasn’t a group activity
that’s also where i’m at emotionally (still me)
Stef: it’s still nice
Riese: it was yeah
her dad joined in for a bit
Stef: i utilized the same blinking flashlight trick
to make it look like i was fun
one of the djs lives literally around the corner from me and we had to hang out in a zoom dance party! what a world
Drew: I think I’ve felt like it’ll just make me sad
But maybe it’s time to adjust to the new world
Or maybe I should develop a crush on my roommate who isn’t social distancing well
Stef: seeing other people with like facial expressions is good
that helps me

Drew:

the fact that lea michele and rachel berry are both pregnant in 2020 pic.twitter.com/SAwpzdw456

— victoria (@hsmwylie) April 27, 2020

I was so disappointed that THIS was the reason Lea Michele was trending
Riese: i don’t know about that man
“Zandy”
that’s not a name
Drew: I want better for her
I mean I do not know anything about this man
But I do know he’s not Dianna Agron
Laneia: well i can tell you from this one photo that he thinks he’s naturally good with a grill but he absolutely is not

Laneia: what does this mean who is fletcher

I would never be one to complain during These Trying Times but there is a CRIMINAL lack of autostraddle coverage about the fact that fletcher is quarantined with her ex (????) girlfriend

— Maggie Soares-Horne (@MaggieSoaresRex) March 20, 2020

is this about a tv show
Heather: the only fletcher i know of is mrs. from the hbo show and drew already wrote about that!
Drew: I can’t stop laughing at that tweet
Praying for Fletcher
Riese: She’s a musician!!
When I went out with Hayley Kiyoko’s publicists 45 lifetimes ago, they were talking about her, that is how I know who she is
Like one was saying that he couldn’t rep her bc it overlapped too much with Hayley’s brand
And I was like who’s fletcher and they were like how do u not know
Abeni: i feel like i mentioned fletcher once in the honorable mentions of a queer your ears? i forgot what they sounded like. tbh i used to get so many thin white queer upcoming pop singers they blended together. but tbh i just checked them out and … it’s pretty irreverent and fun! not as basic as so many of them! like, the lyrics are really cheeky.

and especially this one, except for the first 10 seconds, which are very basic. but she says she wants to “unfuck” her ex but then she masturbates to photos of her ex??? wow

omg what if THAT’s the ex that this tweeter is talking about?
like, you wrote a song about how you’re drinking too much and wish you never met your ex who you still masturbate to photos of. and then you’re quarantined together!
like it’s one thing to have weird feelings for your ex but having written this song??? lol

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Himani, Contributor

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?

I don’t know if this a thing that exists beyond this one context but there’s a NJ-food-truck-turned-Penn-Station-food-stand called the Cinnamon Snail that has a vegan Thanksgiving sandwich. Absolutely my go-to: if I could, I would eat it everyday! In sad news, Cinnamon Snail’s location at the Pennsy is closing! :'(

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?

I finally bought a bunch of plants to put into the yard space behind my building and two weekends ago I spent an entire Sunday turning the soil, digging out rocks and putting all the new plants in! I’ve never been an athletic or otherwise strong person so this was quite the feat for me! I really cannot wait to see what comes up! The tulips I planted last fall are already starting to bloom!

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Facepalm

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?

Arundhati Roy — I really want to know if she’s as incredible a person as she appears to be in her writing and activism, although they say you should never meet your heroes; also, let’s be real, I REALLY want to know if she’s queer.

Rachel Carson — Reading Silent Spring changed my life in a lot of ways, although it took years for all of that to sink in. I would love to know what Carson would have to say about the current state of the world after nearly sixty years of wishy-washily heading her warning. I’m guessing the answer would be depressing. Also, I’m guessing she and Roy would have a lot to talk about.

Tchaikovsky / Rachmaninoff — Ok this is kind of cheating because it’s two people and not one, but I’ll settle for either of them! I just really want to know what inspired them to write such breathtaking and heart wrenching music. Everyone knows the deal with Shostakovich and Prokofieff: like Stalin, communism, etc. etc. but what made these two tick? Also, I say one because I wouldn’t want both of them at the same dinner table at the same time because that’s too many old dead white men at one table, IMO.

Giti Thadani — Ok she’s not super famous and this is me grasping a little for a fourth person (I really do take the “don’t meet your heroes” thing to heart), but Thadani wrote this book called Sakhiyani that’s been on my list for months because, well the subtitle says it all: Lesbian Desire in Ancient and Modern India. I will probably have many of my current questions answered by the time I read the book, but I will also probably be left with many, many more. This is one of those topics where additional reading will almost certainly be limited and will mostly be inaccessible to me.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?

Probably Serena Williams although until I had to think about this question I never thought of her as a celebrity crush, but she totally is. I have loved the Williams sisters since I was a kid (in some ways, I feel like I “grew up” with them because they’re in the same age range as my sister) because of everything they’ve done to call out the messed up racial and gender dynamics in tennis. I particularly love Serena because she will not stand for shit and she’s a fighter, both of which I admire in a woman. Also, I just love powerful women – like not just emotionally, intellectually but also physically strong women. And I am not a sports ball person by any stretch of the definition – like truly, I do not know what is going on half the time – but! the last few years I have tuned half an ear to women’s tennis specifically because I want to see Serena get those 24 grand slam titles!

It’s 10 PM Do You Know Where Your Bolt Cutters Are

Heather:
Allow Fiona Apple to Reintroduce Herself

Cara [Delevingne] came over, and we were in this room. She and I have been text friends for years. But we’ve only hung out twice in person. I wanted her to sing on this one thing, but then she was only in town for a day. And I was in a very sad place. So I was like, “I don’t feel up to anything. I’m sad.” She FaceTimed me and was like, “Answer the phone. You’re okay, everything’s cool.” She was such a good friend to me in that moment that I felt really comfortable, and I was like, “Okay, come on over, let’s do it. There’s one line to sing: [“Fetch the bolt cutters.”]”
She’s got the British accent that went along with the way Gillian Anderson said it, so it was really funny actually when she started doing it. She was like, [affects exaggerated American accent] “Fetch the bolt cutters.” And I said, “Wait, can you just do it with your accent?” I love her voice, and I just knew our voices would go really well together. And she brought her dogs, Leo and Alfie. And so all of our dogs — Maddie [Zelda Hallman’s dog], Mercy, Leo, and Alfie — were in this room with the door closed and they’re totally silent for the whole take of the song. And then at the end of the song they erupted. It was so perfect.

Rachel:

#zeldawatch
truly choked laughing

Drew: How much clearer did they want her to be
Stef: 🔧there really isn’t a bolt cutters emoji
well, there is now
[boltcutters slack emoji]
Drew: !!!!
STEF
Stef: and a blessed fiona apple day upon you my child
now if you’ll excuse me i must put on PPE to fetch my wellbutrin

What We’ve Been Reading

Rachel: Confessions of the Fox by Jordy Rosenberg

Heather: The Winter of the Witch: A Novel by Katherine Arden

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya: Godshot by Chelsea Bieker

Drew: Native Country of the Heart by Cherríe Moraga

Riese: Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

NicoleCider: Making, Using & Enjoying Sweet & Hard Cider by Annie Proulx, The Obelisk Gate by N K Jemisin

Kamala: Fantasian by Larissa Pham and Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments by Saidiya Hartman

Carmen: How We Got Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

Meg: Bewitching the Elements by Gabriela Herstik

Laneia: A Book That Takes Its Time by Flow Magazine

ONE GREAT MUG

Welcome to “One Great Mug” — in which a staff member will share a photo of a mug they love. A story about the arbiter of caffeine and/or warmth that gets them through the day.

I have TWO favorite mugs sorry-not-sorry. I’m a cup dragon and am typically drinking out of two or more vessels at any given time because sometimes you want coffee and tea and maybe even also water and if I’m going to unchain myself from the computer and go into the kitchen, I might as well get all my beverages taken care of. I collect mugs like the mug on the left because I love decorating my home with things that look back at me. The mug on the right was a gift from a late friend of mine, Jean. She lived to 100!! A whole century! Getting to meet and know her was one of the few good things that came out of my now-defunct marriage. So, whenever I get this mug out (actually a set of two), I think of her and her stories and especially the one time she told me about having a lesbian roommate in college in the 1920’s and “not realizing it” and “her professors mistaking them for a couple.” Miss you, Jean! — Nicole

Quarantine Activities Retro-Reading

Believe it or not, we’ve got quite a few posts for this!

From How To Be Alone: The Zine

DIY Beauty Bar: Soap Opera, by Laura Wooley (October 2013) – Using a lot of soap for some reason? Add another step to that process by making it yourself!

Learn Basic Embroidery With These Essential Stitches, by Katie (November 2016) – This is a VERY comprehensive how-to featuring some very special queer and sexual little patterns for your enjoyment.

Ode to My Pantry: “Expired” Food, by Kristen (September 2013) – Dost thou truly need to go to the store? This post will help you decide.

22 Beers To Brew At Home (Because Why Go Outside Again, Ever), by Laura (December 2016) – THIS HEADLINE

Level Up Your Staycation: Hang a Hammock, Build a Blanket Fort, by Robin (2015) – Staycation wow hahahahaha

Liquor In The House: Everything You Need For A Bar At Home, by Austen (May 2014) – You know what they say, “if you can’t go to your favorite bar, make a bar in your own home and talk to your pals on Zoom!”

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

Alice Wu’s “The Half Of It” Lives Up to the Hype by Fulfilling and Subverting the Expectations Set by “Saving Face”, by Malinda Lo

Oh just iconic lesbian author MALINDA LO writing about the new QUEER NETFLIX ROMCOM by ALICE WU. No big deal.

Meet the Designers Who Are Working Hard for a Queerer Sustainability Movement, by Emma Banks

It can be easy to feel despair for a lot of reasons right now, and having lived the past few years in a worsening anxiety around climate change and greenwashing are good ones! But I found this piece about queer sustainable design v soothing, and maybe you will too!

Bipolar Disorder, Trans Dykes, and Celestial Catastrophe, by June Amelia Rose

This piece stands out for me personally as one of the essays I’m most honored to have edited – although I use “edit” here loosely, as honestly June’s voice as a writer is so strong and fluid here I can take virtually no credit. Please do read it!

Stay Home & Let Go of Loopholes: Community Care During Coronavirus, by Vanessa

Perhaps a good thing to send your friends and fam who are getting antsy in isolation and starting to wonder if they can’t venture out to the beach or the unfortunately-opening non-essential businesses in their area!

Finding My Own Chinese American Community Through KTV, by Lia

I can’t express enough how quietly gorgeous this essay is, and how deeply personal and also contextualizing of a moment and a generation – it made me weepy on my couch, and it’s nice to get the chance to weep because of something beautiful right now, no?

You Can’t Instacart Poppers

picture of poppers by Archie Bongiovanni

Archie: Hello just want to say I was doing really good but now all I want is to be at a gay club and rub my hand on a queers upper arm and feel the grit of glitter and sweat under my fingertips
It’s a very specific mood that I think this group would recognize and appreciate
Stef: i love you archie and feel this hard
it’s so chill to just like have a mini breakdown every day
Drew: I don’t know what it is about this week but I feel like I and everyone I know has specifically been missing gay clubs
Archie: I MISS.
I want poppers
Drew: Well those I have
But not the same alone ya know
Archie: I want disorientating disco lights
It’s NOT the same
I have tried
Drew: Same it’s really not
Archie: I want to accidentally smash my friends drink out of their hand
I want to be dancing on a sticky part of the floor where someone previously spilled their drink!
Drew: I want those things so badly
Sarah: holy shit this is visceral
Archie: Right
Drew: Erotica but instead of sex it’s describing outside places
Stef: i would wait half an hour for the bartender to notice me
Archie: I will WRITE this clubbing erotica haha
Stef: maybe 35 minutes
Shelli: Oooo I’m immediately jumping to wanting to pull someone in at the waist and do the good old sweet grind with moving the hands up from the waist to the neck
Archie: Just sitting at the bar holding up a dollar bill while chatting with a friend
Stef: i’m going to talk loudly about how i’m better at running a club
Sarah: i want the feeling of seeing an ex of yours or one of your friends in the crowd that y’all are trying to avoid and it’s like a rush of excitement and avoidance where y’all are like “lol omg look it’s [person]”
Archie: Ohhh Shelli that’s good
Stef: i’m going to make out with someone i find out later was not that hot
Shelli: Ooo getting so hot that you need to step outside cause it’s sweaty and the photo booth line is too long
Stef: “didn’t she look like [person]???” (friends: “girl no”)
Sarah: i want “jumping jumping” to come on specifically at queer asstrology so i can do an entire improv’d routine that @reneicespieces thinks is brilliant
Archie: Making eyes at someone across the dance floor. Maybe we’ll dance? Maybe I’ll forget about them after a tequila shot? Who knows the mystery is the fun of it
Sarah: honestly dancing on sticky floor is hilarious
Drew: I MISS LONG BATHROOM LINES
Stef: ME TOO
Sarah: oh, running into someone that you DM with on IG but don’t hang out with IRL and you’re like “heyyy” and all shy
Drew: I miss using the men’s room and shouting gender is dead like I do almost every time I go out
Stef: i miss making friends with the girl behind me and being like ‘listen i’m going in there to do drugs but i’ll be fast, i would never disrespect you like that’
Sarah: omg being in the bathroom with everyone and all squished cause there are 2 stalls
Drew: Ugh I miss doing drugs in public
Archie: Omg drew
I just typed “sneaking” into the “boys” bathroom
Drew: I also miss how specifically after I shout gender is dead like four cis women from the women’s line join me
Archie: Hahahaaaa
Sarah: me leading all my friends into the thickest part of the dance floor so i can swirl my hair around and make space for us
Archie: Wowwww
Drew: When a shitty DJ finally plays an amazing song
Sarah: watching drew grind with [REDACTED]
Stef: me buying aggressive drunk sarah a shot and then hiding from her
Shelli: I’m sorry – taking the girl I’ve been Dming with Into the stall really quick
Archie: Complaining about the Dj!! Such a queer club move
Drew: I miss [REDACTED]
Sarah: and @riese writing on her notes app “that’s [REDACTED]”
Stef: oh i heard this story
Drew: I miss now every time I go out wondering if [REDACTED] is going to be there again
Shelli: Excuse me – can I also buy drunk Sarah a shot?
Stef: i would do anything to make regrettable choices
at this moment
Sarah: omg me taking shots my friends buy me even though i’m an extreme lightweight
Shelli: And later get told by security to get down off the bar
Archie: Hahahahaha
Sarah: LOL
Archie: That’s a real one!
Drew: YES me accepting free alcohol because it’s free and I’m broke and 26 even though I’ve certainly had enough
Stef: YES
Sarah: absolutely have been told to get down from benches and chairs bc i end up standing on them
Archie: Really glad we’re all on the same boat about missing aspects of the club def thought I was alone
Stef: literally as soon as it’s ok to do this i am coming to LA to go to gayasstrology again, that shit was fun
dude
Drew: PLEASE
Stef: i miss throwing the fucking thing
Archie: S A M E. STEF
I MISS THROWING PARTIES
Stef: i miss calling 911 on some idiot 19 year old puking from whatever she took before she got there
i’d do THAT
over what i’m doing right now
which is getting my sim ready for her acting gig
her name is claire she’s doing great
Archie: I am gonna throw a Dykes And Fags themed dance party asap!
Drew: I’d happily take selfies of myself crying and post them on my insta story close friends and then the next day wake up to texts from friends that are like “hey babe are you okay?” and I’m like “yeah…. why?” and they’re like “Um.. your insta story?”
Stef: oh archie brahms is dead i’m sorry he lived a long life
Archie: Plz come to mpls for it you all are invited
Stef: i would love to
lol yes
i want to wake up finding out i have posted the weirdest instagram story
Archie: K cover is five bucks

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

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