Kristen Stewart has been hiding a private Instagram account from me THIS ENTIRE TIME.
Every day, I comb the tabloids all across the internet, thirstily hunting for any news of Kristen Stewart’s potential public makeouts and/or Evan Rachel Wood’s forthcoming announcement that she’s ready to take me on a date. In the process, I also found these headlines. Today I’m ready to share them with you.
Even if this WERE true, it wouldn’t even be a thing anymore, so don’t even worry about it.
And seriously, Cara? The Eiffel Tower? I thought you were COOL.
The pair will presumably no longer be visiting farmers’ markets together, jumping on waterslides together or taking pensive, mysterious photographs of one another.
Dive right into all we know about Ellen Page’s outing with her girlfriend Samantha Thomas and Hannah Hart’s relationship with Ingrid Nilsen.
Is “confidante” the new “gal pal”?
“I think in three or four years, there are going to be a whole lot more people who don’t think it’s necessary to figure out if you’re gay or straight.”
Cara helpfully tells The New York Times that her sexuality is not a phase SO THERE
Does this mean MC Lyte has been an android all along?
These two seem like a damn good time.
Gosh, those two girls are awfully close! They’re probably on their way to Claire’s to buy a BEST FRIENDS FOREVER necklace right now!
AAAAAAAAAAAH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
It’s been a great year for hard-hitting investigative journalism.
Just because 99.9% of their relationship happened in my own imagination doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.
Have all of your wildest dreams come true?
“Sources close to Autostraddle.com report that the newly single Ms. Wood was spotted dancing at a ladies’ party called the Grind in Los Angeles this past Wednesday night, sparking rumors that you, yes YOU stand even a snowball’s chance in hell of becoming Evan Rachel Wood’s new paramour.”
Or “very close friendship.” Whatever.
Breaking news: wild and crazy girl does wild and crazy thing.
“Neighbours have been gathering at the woman’s house to witness this feline abomination for themselves, but at press time, nobody has stepped forwards to claim Bull.”