BREAKING: Ruby Rose And Phoebe Dahl Break Up, Love Remains A Lie

If you were busy feeling all warm and fuzzy over all the cute celebrity couples the Internet has had to offer and all the weirdos who got married in 2015, you can knock that shit off right now because Instagram’s golden couple, designer Phoebe Dahl and fictional inmate Ruby Rose have called off their two-year engagement. This is especially devastating considering they recently hosted a garden party in which everybody wore white but nobody got dirty.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

In an exclusive statement to Us Weekly (the preferred breakup method of all lesbians), Dahl said, “After two wonderful years together, Ruby and I have decided to part ways. While we still love each other and support each other in every way, it is our mutual decision to part ways. Our break is not the result of any media speculation, and we want nothing but the best for each other. Thank you for respecting our privacy in this very difficult time.” Her representative added that Dahl has moved out of Rose’s home in the Silverlake neighborhood of Los Angeles, and that they will no longer be visiting farmers’ markets together, jumping on water slides together or taking pensive, mysterious photographs of one another.

Dahl and Rose announced their engagement in March 2014, following three months of whirlwind dating. Both described their romance as “love at first sight,” and the couple’s combined six million Instagram fans are said to be in deep mourning.

Instagram snuggles in happier times.

Instagram snuggles in happier times.

To their credit, both Dahl and Rose have been remarkably classy about the entire affair, as seen in the following Twitter exchange:

If nothing else, this is living proof that mature, loving breakups are possible, at least if you are very rich, famous and good-looking. We here at Gothip Girl HQ wish both parties a peaceful and pleasant 2016.

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 430 articles for us.

42 Comments

    • No, I think it makes you blind and maybe a little stupid. They look nothing alike. That’s as ignorant as saying two black people look the same cause they’re a similar color, doesn’t really make it any cooler cause they’re white.

      • Oh I don’t know, I’m pretty faceblind and I can’t tell anyone apart if they’re similar colors with similar haircuts and face shapes until I know them both kind of well. If it’s only white people or only black people you have trouble with that’s one thing, but it’s not really stupid to not be able to tell people apart if you’re just not good at it. Or, maybe I’m faceblind and facestupid, that actually might be fair. But my point is, this is harder for some people than others.

        (That said, I agree it’s not super helpful to be dismissive of people because of their type, even if it’s the dominant/culturally-preferred type.)

      • No it makes me childish because I hate Ruby Rose’s pretty face today and felt the urge to smash stuff but settled for making light of how women that run in certain circles do their toilette very similarly and tend to keep company with people of the same body type as well. Teenage girls do it and it’s an attempt to forge a self and be a part of group. Entertainment industry it’s probably a bit of that and the job of staying in the lines of being what’s considered properly pretty too.

        Don’t consider this an apology, because I don’t have an ounce of repentance in me today honestly. Just buckets of awful and (self) destructiveness, but just enough self preservation to not put a new hole in that door I still haven’t replaced. Not enough to stop myself from being pointlessly mean.
        I’m usually not mean, not even to people that aggravate me because my philosophy is mean-ness is wasted energy. Hell I’m not even mean to people who treat me like a non person. Why is feeling things such a good thing? It’s awful.

        I do have a fair amount feature blindness in addition to a storm of awful.

        • Hey that’s a lot of anger you’ve got going on there. Is everything alright? It sounds as though you’re having a rough time. I hope things get better for you. Till then know that this internet stranger is sending warm thoughts your way.

        • I hope things get better for you. It doesn’t always feel this way, but there is more to life than what you look like (standards of beauty aside) and your peers do grow up and become more well rounded people. It doesn’t excuse who they are now or their behavior, but I think forgiving others takes a weight off yourself or at least it did/does for me.

  1. Oh wow, that @fairclothsupply tweet did me in.
    Doesn’t anyone think it is absolutely hilarious that it looks like Ruby Rose is tweeting her sadness about breaking up at an ecofriendlier version of target?
    Is it just me?
    Is there something I oughta to know?
    Is getting a slightly more personal twitter account that doesn’t look like a fabric brand for your personal life really that much trouble?
    That said, I wonder if Ruby Rose is now getting back together with @HM (H&M).

  2. Hmmm…I know this makes me an awful person and I am sorry for the pain she must be experiencing right now, but all I can really focus on is that this wonderful person, Ruby, is single. May I have a google alert if she moves to my city?

    Too much?

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