This past May, Gothip Girl reported that newly single Evan Rachel Wood was prowling Los Angeles ladies’ nights, potentially in search of new paramour situations. It could have been you, dear reader, but it looks like you may have missed your chance. Today, Page Six reports that Ms. Wood may have landed the great white whale of this great queer ocean: Kate Moennig, aka The L Word‘s Shane McCutcheon.
Take a minute, catch your breath, and let’s review the facts.
In February 2013 (long before Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual’s separation from husband Jamie Bell was public knowledge, or perhaps even a thing), Ms. Wood encountered Ms. Moennig at a flea market. Maybe their hands brushed against each other as they both reached for the same box of dusty cassette tapes. Maybe their eyes met across a table full of handmade bangle bracelets. Regardless of the circumstances, what is known for certain is that Evan Rachel Wood did the only thing a red-blooded American can do in the presence of Kate Moennig, and she blushed, got flustered, bolted and then tweeted about it like a total nerd.
@evanrachelwood you should have said hi. 🙂
— kate moennig (@katemoennig) February 10, 2013
This happened to me once with Samantha Ronson and I died, so.
From what we can discern, the two struck up some sort of Twitter-based relationship, and Wood continued to moon over the spindly seductress, even tweeting about dreaming about the two falling asleep together in a cab during NYC pride. You have probably also periodically tweeted about Kate Moennig-based fantasies, but you, dear reader, you aren’t Evan Rachel Wood.
Although Kate Moennig was most recently reported to be in some sort of relationship-esque arrangement with mysterious hat aficionado Holly Miranda, noted Instagram behavioural analyst Crystal Silvester reports that “…Holly Miranda has not posted a photo of Kate Moennig’s dog for at least three months now, which indicates either nothing or everything re: their relationship status.”
At the Hammer Museum’s Los Angeles gala (honoring artist Mark Bradford and singer Joni Mitchell) this past Saturday night, Wood and Moennig arrived holding hands, both nattily dressed in blazers, appearing “very much a couple.” Page Six’s source also notes that the two “kept close all night” and spent time at a “secluded table,” which (as we all know) constitute the two primary girl-on-girl sex acts. Although the two were not specifically reported to be “canoodling,” it is heavily implied that this was the case.
The two were not photographed together, but here is a composite image we have put together from photos from the event. Our resident body language expert Stef Schwartz notes, “these two are all about it.” Evan Rachel Wood looks resplendent, even glowing, and as always, Moennig’s hair remains full of secrets.
Photos: Donato Sardella/Steve Granitz/Getty
At press time, neither Kate Moennig’s three-legged chihuahua nor her haircut could be reached for comment.
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Anybody want to meet me at Costco to stock up for when they break the internet?
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The trajectory of my life just changed. Just like that. Isn’t life grand?
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it feels like the right time to confess that i’ve been consistently thinking about Evan Rachel Wood since I saw Thirteen
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You’re not alone.
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Since Little Secrets for me. Ah, pre-teen days. <3
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I was inexplicably obsessed with that movie for years. Inexplicably meaning: so far into the closet you don’t even know you live in Narnia!
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I honestly have no idea who evan rachel wood is other than seeing her mentioned all the time on autostraddle and learning that her true last name is “bisexual.”
that said, A+ article, 10/10, would read again
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This made me giddy, giggly and tear up a little with joy and maybe jealousy. I Just have so many feelings about this.
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Best thing I’ve read all day, thank you.
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well, this have me a new emotion all together
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…an emotion strong enough to cause such an egregious typo
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i love reading your vapid fluff reports
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Someone plz photoshop an image of Kate Moennig as an actual Great White Whale kthx
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i mean
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So…where is the lesbian version of Moby Dick?
Does this make Evan Rachel Wood Ishmael? (spelling?)
More importantly, Lesbian Moby Dick should replace Moby Dick in all high school English class reading lists.
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the best part of this is stef quoting herself in the third person in her own article.
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Mark of true genius
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WOAH
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SITUATION ROOM STATUS
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I am undecided about what’s better: Your juicy juicy fluff or it’s implications.
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This is almost as mind-boggling as that time Shane and Jenny hooked up on that show we used to watch.
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Someone please leak the video of them making out, please? Wait on second thought that may break the lesbian internet, that is until there is footage of Ellen Page video making out leaks.
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wait I’m just confused, I thought Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual had a thing with Ellen Page, somebody please catch me up before I loose my toaster. Did I make this up in my head?
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Nope, they are making a movie together 🙂
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True story – one time, when I was working for Apple, Kate Moenning came up to me and struck up a conversation over iPhone cases.
Unfortunately, I had no idea it was her and pointed her to one of my male colleagues to get rung up because I was working inventory. Then all the queer identified ladies at the store rushed me and I realized my error.
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I would die.
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“Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual’s separation”
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Both Kate Moennig and Evan Rachel Wood are on my Five.
That’s not how it works, they’re supposed to sleep with me not with each other.
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I consider it the first step to them realising that they both really want to come and live with me (and KStew) in one big happy poly family.
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A+ reporting
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I’m having serious trouble coping after seeing that Evan Rachel picture. Therapy and a cardiologist asap please
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I hope to one day date Kate Moennig and/or ERWB purely so Stef will write an article about it in this exact style
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i have never, before this, felt any type of way about the possibility of two people dating. my heart reacted.
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I literally did a mental check to make sure it wasn’t April Fool’s, so
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I for one welcome our new vampire lesbian overlords.
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I SHIP IT.
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I just signed in to like some of these stellar comments so A+ guys all round
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Me too! LOL
All of this made me smile! That great white whale photo is simply superb!
PS I remember that time that Stef saw Kate twice. LOL
Kthanksbye!
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OMG! OMG!
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1) Life is not fair.
2) Ay, dios mio!
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So not fair. Can you imagine the gorgeous baby dykes they would make?
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It’s really cute, best thingi would read today, made me have so many mixed feelings.
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This documentation is perfect
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!!!!!
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Is Ronson that hot?
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Thank you for this informative update on the continuing adventures of Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual.
Also, thanks to you guys I can’t not think of her as Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual; that should be the name on her Wikipedia page.
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STEF YOU WERE RIGHT. THERE’S PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE
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Yes Katherine Moennig is and has been dating a girl from Texas.She’s Spanish Irish mixed and her name is Emerald Alva it was actor Chris Mulkey that played Leonard Murphy on (episode 1-2003)of the show CSI Miami introduced Katherine Moennig who played Mary Landis on (episode 1-2008)of the show CSI Miami to Emerald Alva of LGBT Rights Around The World and LGBT entertainment.I’m a close friend of her girlfriends family member.I met them at a birthday dinner party and they seemed really nice.I’m a life coach now but have worked in journalism in the past and although it may be wrong of me to comment on this private subject.I feel most of the world already knows everything there is to know on this topic.I think they enjoy traveling through and visiting Texas where it’s more private for them to hang out party or relax.Emerald is a Mormon member of the LDS Church that lived with a child actor and artistic director from the 1976 film Bad News Bears Kate is Kate.I was dating Emerald but Kate broke us up seven years ago and we all saw each other again at the !$#!#Block lesbian event in Texas back in August.I wish them and hope they will be able to keep their lives private away from the public’s eye.Because privacy is priceless and everyone deserves the right to be happy living their lives in the way they want to.I respect their privacy in person as well as on social media sites such as LinkedIn Facebook Twitter and MySpace hopefully everyone else will to as well.I think you for allowing me to share my personal thoughts views and insight on this site thank you!.